to resent getting grief because I work in a private school?

[fuschiagroan]

OK, realise that people may say I am being totally unreasonable.

Just about to start my first teaching job. It's in a private school. At a dinner party the other night, my friend (well, I've known her a long time but we're not that close) was making lots of digging little comments about the fact it was a private school. Other people were asking genuine questions about the job/school, not being snarky at all, like 'So what are class sizes like?'. When I answered, e.g. 'It's fifteen to a class at most' this friend went 'God!', wrinkling her nose, as though I'd just said they had a school society for strangling baby bunnies or something. She also made comments about 'privilege' and 'unfair' etc.

OK, I know of course that it is a very privileged environment, and the kids are incredibly lucky. But why does that make me a bad person for working there? If a job had come up in a good state school I would have been just as happy teaching there, but this was the school that offered me a job.

I just think, ffs, I'm not an arms dealer. There's really no need for her to criticise my choice of workplace just because it doesn't fit in with her faux-socialism.

By the way, she got her kid into a great state school by moving into the (expensive property) catchment area - not exactly something possible for all!

Why should the op be made to feel small for getting a decent job, particularly in the current climate and as a newly qualified teacher. YANBU and well done.

yes although I didn't grow up here, so realise it's may not be called as such these days.

I think people seek schools with parents that are like them. And would keep doing this even if people tried to stop it. The difference between two state schools near me in London is huge. And before people say catchment lottery, if they couldn't get that with the million + house price they wouldn't move there. As that is what they are 'buying'.

What chatelaine said

rainbow why?

fuschia totally right. My school provided a free counsellor for all sixth form pupils who needed it as a result of such problems. I also think the self-harm rate at my school was far above the national average (if there is one) because of the IMMENSE pressure on all of us to get straight A*s at GCSE, straight A levels and go to Oxbridge. I took 5 A levels while working in a restaurant part time to learn the value of money and pretty much cracked up.... am still very pro private if you can afford it though

Although I am off topic! I think it's a bit much for someone who moves for a good school to look down on someone who pays.

YABU for assuming that your friend thinks that you are a bad person for taking a job in a private school. Sounds to me as if you are taking it all too personally - guilty conscience?

Yeah, I did apply, I have no problem with private education. I wouldn't necessarily send my child to a private school, but only because I think they could do just as well at a state school and I might as well save the money.

I'm not sure it does impact negatively on other children, and I am thinking mainly of money here. Government funding is already cut to the limit and they will probably cut it further. Schools are overcrowded. About half a million children are educated privately. If they were immediately transferred to the state system, where would the money come from to provide the extra facilities, buildings, teachers etc. necessary to accomodate them?

I would have used her new house purchase against her, but I thought that would be a bit mean.

How am I putting my own values onto her? I didn't ask her opinion, to be quite frank!

I have said that she is being hypocritcal. My evidence for this is that she is critical of people who pay for their children's education, when she is basically doing the same thing by buying a house in the catchment area. Both = using financial means to secure the education you want.

She admitted before that it was for catchment area reasons that they bought it, although it is also a nice house.

I don't think having a private school on your CV necessarily advantages you, unless it is Eton or Harrow and your prospective boss also went there etc.

When it comes to Oxbridge/uni entrance, they are trying to correct the over-representation of private school-leavers, so actually if a state pupil and private pupil had the same grades they would probably pick the state pupil as it is good for their figures.

I have never bought a house for a cachment area, judging from mumsnet I am very odd

fuschiagroan - You do not need to justify yourself imo. You are on the right track. Some parents simply do not like the state agenda, it being inflexible etc, thus depriving professional educators in determining the timetable etc. The private sector will allow you greater automony

Going to a private school actually disadvantages your uni application because, as fuschia rightly said, the state pupil tends to be picked due to quotas. I think this is as wrong as private education itself (not that i think that is wrong... ykwim). The benefits of private education tend to be the confidence it gives you, the facilities and the extras like debating societies etc but then you may get those in state too, I don't know.

YANBU. My first two teaching jobs were in state comprehensives (in London). My third was in a girls' private school. I'm a SAHM now, but when I go back into teaching I'm not sure I would go back to a state school now that I know how the other half lives! In Longer holidays, immeasurably better-behaved and more motivated pupils, free tea, coffee, lunch and afternoon sandwiches for staff, no fights, no theft, very professional staff, interested and supportive parents, a very civilised atmosphere all round. I know not all private schools are as good as this, but I can only go on my own experience...

Kind of building on Rainbows comment, private schools are automatically selecting the brightest pupils given that most private schools have some kind entrance exam criteria (common entrance when I was going through). Just think if your local state comp only had that kind of intake...

IMHO Private schools aren't just about education but a way of life. To work there you have believe and buy into the idea that Private schools are undoubtedly better and you could never do as well in a state school. If you as a teacher don't believe it and wouldn't choose it for your own kids, how are you going to persuade the parents to part with thousands to be educated by you?

For me (having been educated at state and private) training for PGCE, i realised I wouldn't be teaching private when a representative from a private school announced that she had to counsel several students who thought their world had ended when they got a B grade not an A, to me that's just not a real world problem.... I know could justify my preference for state comps at a dinner party,

If you've chosen to take up a private school teaching post, you should be able to be proud enough to be able to deal with (one) critic at a dinner party!!!

the thing about teaching is that it does not really matter who you teach, what matters (IMO) is that teaching is actually hellpin gchildre/people on a day to day real basis which is not something that you can necessarily say about being a civil servant. She clearly has not choosen her job based on day to day obvious in your face helping people benefit and it is difficult to say that teaching does not do this. You are in a caring profession - she is not.

Out of interest - do you receive tax breaks or tax credits if you choose to home school? Perhaps to cover costs of not working?

Roffle at 99% of these posts.

Goldberry's post is in the 1%. :)

Why?

... the 'roffle' that is