to resent getting grief because I work in a private school?

[fuschiagroan]

OK, realise that people may say I am being totally unreasonable.

Just about to start my first teaching job. It's in a private school. At a dinner party the other night, my friend (well, I've known her a long time but we're not that close) was making lots of digging little comments about the fact it was a private school. Other people were asking genuine questions about the job/school, not being snarky at all, like 'So what are class sizes like?'. When I answered, e.g. 'It's fifteen to a class at most' this friend went 'God!', wrinkling her nose, as though I'd just said they had a school society for strangling baby bunnies or something. She also made comments about 'privilege' and 'unfair' etc.

OK, I know of course that it is a very privileged environment, and the kids are incredibly lucky. But why does that make me a bad person for working there? If a job had come up in a good state school I would have been just as happy teaching there, but this was the school that offered me a job.

I just think, ffs, I'm not an arms dealer. There's really no need for her to criticise my choice of workplace just because it doesn't fit in with her faux-socialism.

By the way, she got her kid into a great state school by moving into the (expensive property) catchment area - not exactly something possible for all!

titty I'm not saying it's right but that's the way it would be so until something is done parents who have the choice to privately educate their children should do so.

"Am I wrong?"

Depends how resilient she is, can she concentrate when there is disruption in the class ?
If she gets bullied is she the type to stand up to it or tell the teachers ?
Most importantly though do you have the time to dedicate to filling in the gaps and checking her understanding, are you prepared to buy the books the school don't provide ?

"Eg parents from private schools having an influence if they moved to teh state sector - why on earth should they?"

No - absolutely. Tell our children they should go all out for everything they can get. As long as THEY are the winners life. That's the only thing that matters.

But also tell them if they get into the best universities and get fantastic jobs, that they should remember that there are people out there who are more intelligent and are probably more deserving, but they lost out in the race because they didn't have parents who could afford to pay to help them get ahead in the game of life. At least then they'll have a proper sense of humility about their achievement.

mamotomany, well, we're goint to have to aren't we? Because we don't have a choice in the matter. (not church-goers, no money for private education and can't afford to move).

"which, in most cases, means both parents having to work (or generous relatives)".

I'm sure there are plenty of two parent working families who couldn't in a million years cough up the fees for private school.

Why more deserving?

I'm sure there are. I spent a lot of time studying and getting 2 degrees at considerable expense both financially and in terms of studying when everyone else was relaxing so that I have a pretty well-paid job like my DP and we can still only just do it. That was my choice, it's open to anyone. I have that choice because of choices I made in my life. It could have gone differently and I am aware that I am fortunate in that respect.

I still wouldn't have chosen to work full time with 3 young children though. Equally, I couldn't send my child to what I knew was a school that wasn't up to scratch - as recognised by the LEA and Ofsted.

TBH, what pisses me off more is that my children will see less of their mother than they might have done, not only becasue of a quirk of geography that meant we lived 40m too close to a crap school, but also that they are discriminated against becasue they happen to have been born to atheist parent long before they have even formed any religious opinions of their own. I think faith schools are far more of an outrage in our education system.

Ah well preghead, my dd's school is rated 'outstanding' by Ofsted, though it's still rough as pig-shit.

She'll be mixing with the riff-raff good and proper. In fact, she'll BE part of the riff-raff (she's like an 11 year old female version of Ali-G, ya get me blad )

But all credit to you for working so hard for your child.

Will you have to pay for the other two to go private at some point too? Yikes.

I'm horse-whipping my middle child (7) into constant piano practice, going to try to get him into a selective school (grammar or a good comp) on the strength of his achievement in music.

DD is smart, pretty and hugely confident. She's been in top sets for everything in primary and I'm hoping her poise and confidence will take her to the top of the murky pond at secondary school.

Well if it's rated outstanding then I can't see a problem - judgements like rough as shit are just subjective surely? As long as the quality of education is good who cares - it wasn't at the one we got. (Anyway, there are plenty of chavs-with-money at most private schools I have seen - paying doesn't guarantee no riff raff ; ) - some hideous snobs as well of course)

yes will prob have to do all 3 but we have a chance to get them into a good junior school at 7 that we live very near to as they are separate infant schools so at least that option is there, hopefully.

Your attitude sounds good anyway - you are confident in your kids abilities and they will do well at any reasonable school - I really like to hope that is true. Not sure about the truly shit ones though.

The old they'll do well anywhere just isn't true It really isn't.
They might do well but if they are in a school with a 30% pass rate at C+ for 5 subjects it takes one hell of a kid to be in that 30%.
Same child in a school with 98% pass rate and they will no doubt achieve more, there's more chance they will find their niche for a start.
It is all unfair but then as Xenia would say you have to start lining up the stars from very early on.

I had a dreadful education and knew from the age of 18 years old any child I had would go to private school and made my choices accordingly.

My dd will be going to a state school with a rough intake as so many people around here privately educate their children.

I have every faith that she will leave school with stunning results.

Your 'friend' should know that small class sizes aren't exclusive to private schools. I am governor of a rural school and we have 80 children across all ages from 3 in nursery to 11 in Year 6. There are only 4 classes with mixed year groups and DD's class this year has 17 kids (yr 1 and 2). Some parents take their kids out to put them in a larger school since small ones don't suit all children. I do think it's funny sometimes, the fact that our little state primary offers what urban parents have to pay for in terms of class size and attention to individual children.

Some people will always sniff about private schools and the people who go to/aspire to/work in them. They, of course, are raging snobs but without the intelligence to recognise themselves as such. Hope you have great children to work with. I went to private school for some of the time and while Mum could be scary to the teachers, Dad spent every parents evening mucking about and having a laugh. State or private, some good teachers, some shite, some nice parents, some tossers. Ignore the whiners and enjoy your new job. Congratulations.

"it takes one hell of a kid to be in that 30%"

I've taught at rough schools with very low pass rates for GCSE.

The reason why children do badly at these schools isn't just because they're difficult places when it comes to both learning and teaching, but because the children in them overwhelmingly come from those sectors of society where there is a history of educational underachievement going back generations.

Bright children who're well supported at home tend to achieve whereever they are, as long as classroom management and teaching is good.

And actually sometimes even when these things aren't in place ....thinking of Bosnian refugee who was written about locally who went to the worst school in the borough (less than 20% five A-C's) and came out with 11* GCSE's - wow!

Exactly I have taught in some really tough low achieving schools but bright kids with supportive families leave with the same string of A*s as those from independents. Not as many kids admittedly.

If I were to send my dd to an indepdent, it would be for all the extra currucular not exam results. She will get those whereever she goes.

I went to a not-great school. I was in top sets, so behaviour in lessons was OK and I got good results.
But I didn't enjoy it.

Well, in a sense, it is unfair that some children are in classes with 15 other children (or 14?) as would be idea

But not as simple as, 'you get what you pay for...' There are some great state school and some great private schools and the converse is true also.

Think though that the British sport of having a good old whinge is alive and well when it comes to schools. My cousins (in the USA) are sending their kids to private school at primary level. There are 30 kids per class, and they have parents volunteer, but also charge!