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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Judgey Pants Strike Again: Mum ^and^ Dad knocking back wine in Pub with 9 months old asleep in Buggy

119 replies

QueenSconetta · 05/09/2010 09:05

Judgey Pants strike again but both Parents knocking back a bottle+ of wine in the pub and about 8.30 at night with their 9 mo ish old DS asleep in stroller buggy?

Brave... I wouldn't fancy that head at 6am the next morning when he wakes up and wants to play!

OP posts:

dolphin13 · 05/09/2010 09:08

Well a bottle is only 2 glasses each. Maybe they don't get hangovers.

Might have been their first chance to get out in 9 months.

Think you are BU sorry.

PrivetDancer · 05/09/2010 09:09

Hmm so the baby was happily asleep and they shared a bottle of wine?
Call the nspcc!

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 05/09/2010 09:09

A bottle is 6 standard glasses.

wickedfairy · 05/09/2010 09:10

maybe they don't have anyone nearby to look after their DS! We have no family locally, so if we wanted to do that, we have to take the children with us to wherever. We are in that situation and if the lo is happily asleep, I don;t think there is anything wrong with the parents having a bottle of wine - it's not like they are out clubbing with him at 2am!

We wouldn't have a hangover after half a bottle of wine each either. Our DS never woke up until 7-8 anyway, so plenty of time for sleeping. 8.30pm isn't exactly late.

You are being very judgy, imo

Original poster

QueenSconetta · 05/09/2010 09:10

Maybe I am judging by my own standards... I am good for nothing after half a bottle plus of wine

OP posts:

Thistledew · 05/09/2010 09:11

Tokyotwist · 05/09/2010 09:12

They'll soon learn.

My dd is 2 and I was out on Friday. One drink b'cus I just couldn't imagine dealing with her all Sat with a hangover.

Just made it a nice one. Lovely Manhattan, sat in the warm evening outside bar with good friends. Rest of the night I had cappucinnos. Just as delightful, well almost .

dolphin13 · 05/09/2010 09:13

Oh sorry our wine glasses must be bigger than the norm.

PrivetDancer · 05/09/2010 09:13

Well I would judge you for your poor alcohol tolerance, QS!

huffythethreadslayer · 05/09/2010 09:13

I really don't see the problem with this and I've got a fair quantity of judgey pants in my wardrobe.

On this occasion, though, I think you should really take off the pants and keep them for something more worthy.

The parents weren't at a rave. The child wasn't crying or distressed. This might have been the couple's one night out a week, or more likely, their first night out for yonks.

The 9mo was asleep and unperturbed. I daresay there are mums and dads on this very forum who drink more than a bottle of wine in the house at night. I suspect they cope adequately with their kids the following morning. Some may even do so magnificently well.

YAB very U.

turnitup · 05/09/2010 09:14

Can't see a problem with this at all

YABU

EricNorthmansmistress · 05/09/2010 09:15

CoronaAndLime · 05/09/2010 09:15

Were they drunk and unable to care for their baby?

I was at my local pub last night with Dh and our 3 Dc, one of which is 0nly 4wks old and we stayed from about 7pm till 8.45pm.
I had 1 glass of wine and Dh had 2/3 pints.

We all had a nice time and went home when baby got fed up so dont think anyone would think we were bad for that, but if we were pissed then we would have been U.

SkiHorseWonAWean · 05/09/2010 09:15

YABU.

What do the WHO have to say about post-partum enjoyment? How old does the baby have to be before either (or both) parents may indulge in adult activity?

Original poster

QueenSconetta · 05/09/2010 09:16

And you would be right PrivetDance, hardcore I am not! I was out same night (obviously) and had 1.5 small glasses of wine and had to make DP get up with DD at 6.20am next morning! (Makes a change though)

OP posts:

WannaBeMeAgain · 05/09/2010 09:17

So they had half a glass more than you and they were wrong

ChippingIn · 05/09/2010 09:19

Yep - definitely time to call the NSPCC!!

Have my very first

TCNY - you need nicer wine glasses

teaandcakeplease · 05/09/2010 09:19

If their LO was asleep happily, I personally do not see anything wrong with it. I wouldn't have a hang over from sharing one bottle with my partner (speaking hypothetically, as my H has left me) sounds nice on an almost Autumn evening to have some QT (hate that word) with my partner whilst the baby slept. Now there is no smoking in pubs I wouldn't worry about the baby passively smoking in their sleep either iyswim?

I think if they were drunk in care of a baby my judgey pants would come out though. However I try not to make assumptions where possible on seeing something at face value. Maybe they do not get out much, maybe they couldn't find a baby sitter, or the baby sitter pulled out at the last minute etc.

YAB a little bit U.

FlyMeToDunoon · 05/09/2010 09:20

YABU

prozacfairy · 05/09/2010 09:21

I could and still can, drink either 4 or 5 doubles, same number of glasses of wine or about 10 alcopops in one evening and still function fine and I've never have a hangover in my life.

Maybe they're the same?

Maybe you have waaaayyyyy too much time on your hands if you're getting your judgey pants in a twist about a couple sharing a bottle of wine while their baby snoozes in his buggy.

Maybe YABU.

SirBoobAlot · 05/09/2010 09:21

Baby asleep in buggy, parents decide to take advantage of the peace and quiet, and treat themselves to a bottle of wine? DP and I normally share a bottle of a Saturday night once DS is asleep - don't think I would do it in the pub simply because of the transfer of asleep baby to cot afterwards! But really not seeing the big issue here.

Oh, and I don't get a headache from half a bottle of wine

YABU.

mumbar · 05/09/2010 09:21

Would you have thought it odd if it was 4pm and they were doing it in a pub garden/ they're own garden?

I lived abroad until ds was 2 and we would have a meal and then sit outside a bar having a drink with friends sometimes until 10/11pm and then walk him home and tranfer him to his cot. TBH I didn't drink but thats because I don't not for any other reason.

dolphin13 I like the sound of your wine glasses

Lulumaam · 05/09/2010 09:21

YABU, unless they then got into a car and drove home

a sleeping baby , quietly snoozing whilst the parents have a drink or two.. call the police !
a screaming distressed baby being ignored by a drunk parent is something to be upset/judgey about

Original poster

QueenSconetta · 05/09/2010 09:22

Well no WannaBe, mine were small there's were big, they had more than a bottle of wine between them because there were already used glasses in front of them when we arrive, then they fetched another bottle as of course if their right to do, Mum was certainly a little tipsy as she came over to speak to us on her way out and was a little slurry and sway-y, so quite different really.

And IMHO the main difference is that DP was at home with DD in bed and was sober. Maybe it is a daft little foible of mine, but if DP is having a drink at home, I don't as I feel more comfortable with someone being totally compus mentas (sp) in case of emergency. Paranoid? Probably.

OP posts:

proudnsad · 05/09/2010 09:24

Unbelievably unreasonable! And using language like 'knocking back' transparently trying to bolster your 'argument'.

If they had been sitting outside in a swanky restaurant on the French riviera at 8.30pm sharing a bottle or two of wine would you have felt the same?

Anways...mind your own and discard those judgey pants in favour of some chilled boots.

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