ear piercing for young children

[fumanchu]

I was disturbed to overhear in Claire's Accessories yesterday a mum trying to persaude her obviously distressed child to have her ear(s) pierced, saying it wouldn't hurt. The child was about 6 I think. I wasn't sure if the child had had one done and refused the next, she was crying. The shop staff just stood by. I was tempted to say something but didn't. What do you think? and shouldn't shops have some kind of age policy? personally I think its fine for say 13 yr olds and up and I know Italians for example often have babies' ears pierced but i was very unhappy about the coercion.

"Piercing infants is not a normal practise amongst non-chav parents in the UK."

Hammy what you have said here just is not true. Many, many West Indian, Somali, Nigerian and Indian families pierce the ears of their young daughters very early in their lives. We have significant populations of each of these cultural groups, you're in real danger of offending someone here. You sound like you don't really care, but I couldn't let this comment pass without correction.

Electra - sorry I was reading the whole page and obviously didn't take it in properly. I just don't think that anyone who is proud of their culture is necessarily putting down another person's. I'm proud to be white and British but I'm also ashamed of some of the history of the white British culture. It was wrong. Other cultures have history that was wrong. No-one sacrifices their firstborn these days so why is it necessary to put holes in them? That's all that's being asked here, why is it still right just because history says so?

Ok -I can see your argument against it for your kids.

There is little argument for it. But really - for all those of us who had chavviness (if white) or abuse (if not white) inflicted on us when young - how are we doing now? Just fine.

(how would you lose an earlobe unless mummy/daddy didn't look after the skin or get you proper medical care in time?)

So is it that bad IF there are children with ear piercings? Do you actually pity these children. Do you truly regard them as abused.

Personally I see kids as kids - 'adorned' with earrings as opposed to being 'adorned' in naff pink clothes. If health and happiness are there - what's the problem?

If you think I'm 'talking nonsense' then I really don't care You don't make any sensible critique of my observations though. Perhaps you'd rather not think about it. This was not about ear piercing itself but could be comments found on any thread, or anywhere in RL.

PP - I find some of the language you used and the implication offensive, which I think I explained. Racism doesn't begin and end with 'disliking' people of a different race.

As far as ear piercing goes it is not for others to judge, whatever the reasons people have for doing it. It's personal choice and, I do not think it is reasonable to consider it abusive (hence my opinion).

I think that's a really good point giveitago. I had my ears pierced (in this country) at one week. I grew up in a loving home with loving parents. I think it would be unfair (and disrespectful) of people who really have suffered abuse at the hands of awful parents to label my upringing as abusive because my parents had my ears pierced.

With DD, we cleaned her ears 3 times a day every day at the site of the piercing for about a month. Lots of people in the family was calling to check that I was doing it to make sure that everything was fine. No one in my family or circle of friends has ever had an infected ear as we know that it is very important to take care of it properly. I appreciate not everyone has the same hygeine standards.

I saw HVs and GPs during that first year and didn't hide her pierced ears. Like me, DD is in a loving home with loving parents and I am presuming that's the reason that no one has called SS. Oh, that and the fact that in London a third of the population are ethnic minorities so perhaps ear piercing isn't automatically equated with child abuse if the parents are not white.

Yep and Novice I reckon that medics are clued up about this and there's a reason why social services are NOT routinely called to investigate families where little ones have ear pierced.

Possibly because there are many cases where children are hated, neglected, physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually abused etc. Ear piercing in babies is pretty harmless.

I had mine done in equatorial africa oooh some 38 years ago with little in the way of medical care should things go wrong. I had parents who knew how to look after me in that place and I was fine. Just like you novice.

This is an interesting thread. Back in the early 80's when I was at senior school I was considered wild and spoilt because I had what my friends so wanted. I had no concept. So almost 30 years on I find the attitudes of some parents very odd.

I'd never advocate having kids ears' pierced - but so what if they do?

Is their life expectancy sooo dramatically altered because of holes in ears?

Get a grip.

tiny holes in ears

v

formula milk
controlled crying
early childcare
naughty step
forced apologizing

school
religious indoctrination
suffocating 'manners'
etc

Again - WTF is the big deal about pierced ears? I am not buying people actually give a shit about the risk of infection or brief pain. But makes a nice smokescreen for racism/class prejudice while giving brownie points for championing 'justice.' People put their children through hideous emotional pain, English middle class people in particular because you can't fucking live for fear of being called common.

Disgusted by this thread.

EgyptVanGogh Thank you

EVG - I agree entirely.

I am really disgusted by this thread and it is getting quite ridiculous.

Lets just leave it! Who cares, how does it change ur life if my baby has earrings, we are not forcing you to do the same to your children. If you find it horrible that is all well and good, but let us just leave it at that. People have different ideas and different ways of living.

I only have to comments, because there are somethings which have shocked me:

1. People who are against ear piercing are basically saying that parents who choose to have their babies ears pierced are chavs. This would, therefore, mean that all Africans, Asians etc are chavs. All I can say is how dare u! I am Nigerian Australian, had my ears pierced when I was 6 weeks and I can tell you my family is far from being chav. But that is not the point, why should I have to prove myself to anyone? My point is that you are calling Africans and Asians and everyone else chavs and that you are being classist.

2. That parents who pierce the ears of their babies are being abusive. OMG u must be joking?! I loved my childhood, there was nothing abuse about it. I have two loving parents and I would not change them for anything in the world.

That is all. Now, to go back to the original OP. If my child was screaming like that and was obviously scared of having her ears pierced I would not force her.

But please people lets calm down. This is getting ridiculous. If you don't like babies with earrings then that is fine, who cares, don't do it to your babies, we are not forcing you. If you think that we are chavs because we decide to do it to our babies then that is your problem.

Samoa - I think you've missed the point of the last lot of posts if you think it's all about being called a chav.

awwww bless, op last time i was in claires they explained that the piercing policy is to do both at the same time, whether they adhere to that i have no clue, but just to answer your question about other shops age limits/ restrictions and also to add quickley that i have no idea about other studios, but my other half works in a tattoo and body piercing studio and they have a strict policy of no under 13 as all piercings are done with a needle, a consent form needs to be signed and a parent present.

i haven't got an issue with children having them done, not massively keen on babies seems a little mean like they might catch them. i've not had my dd ears pierced as of yet, and at 4 the little mite has done nothing but nag me and her dad however she has a hole in a heart which with piercings can cause infections (along with a few other things) although the docs say it is small and should close up, so we have promised she will get them done then, mind you i have drawn the line at flesh tunnels, she can have them when she's a teenager :o

Does encouraging good manners or using the naughty step cause hideous emotional pain EVG, or have I totally misunderstood your post?

I think a summary of the last few posts is that those of us who had pierced ears as babies were abused as children and are now in turn child abusers if we have inflicted the same on our DDs. The fact that I don't remember any pain, and witnessed for myself that DD didnt have pain doesn't make any difference as my mother is a child abuser and as am I. Oh and culture isn't a good enough defence for such child abuse as we ought to know better in the "modern" world. But that's not racist at all. .

OMG novice. You're slightly exaggerating there. That's your very inflated view of it and not particularly accurate really.

The part of this thread that has been blown up could more accuately be summed up by saying there was perceived racism because some people took exception to 'cultural traditions' being used as a blanket defence to possibly/possibly not dated practices.

Ahem.

I was formula fed and I don't remember it causing me any hideous emotiojnal pain EVG - would you like to clarify that?

Or to paraphrase, wtf are you talking about?

EVG is talking about the fact that there are plenty of parenting issues that people disagree about, but usually it's not acceptable to judge parents for their choices, for example formula/breast feeding.

And that it shouldn't be any different in the case of ear piercing. People do seem to get right out of their pram about this one in the UK and whoever said it is about far more than momentary pain / risk of infection was right.

'The part of this thread that has been blown up could more accuately be summed up by saying there was perceived racism because some people took exception to 'cultural traditions' being used as a blanket defence to possibly/possibly not dated practices.'

No, that is not correct. The language used by some people was perceived as racist by some of us - and was indicative of a general perspective that actually was not specific to ear piercing, and COULD have been voiced on any other thread imo. That was what I objected to.

I think myself and other posters repeatedly said that we could only talk about our cultural traditions as there were a wide variety of reasons. None of us tried to justify other traditions/rituals and stated that you can't compare ear piercing with female circumcision. There was no blanket defence of ear piercing, what there was, even when I explained my cultural tradition in some detail, was a blanket attack and mutters of child abuse and that this had no place in the modern world.

But those who are against it - is it because you feel it to be chavvy?

Everyone knows that africans/asians are big on pierced ears when young and it's quite offensive to deem them all chavvy.

It's also offensive to call these people abusers.

Earrings are not essential for children. No one has said that they are but as far as traditions go (if that's why someone wants to do it) it's not particularly bad.

Thank goodness I don't have a daughter.

Oh - and does chavvy mean 'low class'?

I think chavvy is usually used to refer to a certain style of dress and behaviour (that which is seen as tasteless or naff), rather than class. I'm not sure though, TBH.

Yes it does

Tbh, I think the central issue with the piercing is really that there is absolutely no benefit to the child. I'm not sure I would class it with those parenting choices either. I've said before I'm not sure where I stand on the issue of this being a cultural choice, but I do feel that there are no grounds to defend any practices solely on the basis of them being traditional. I stand by that, but I think this has been interesting.