ear piercing for young children

[fumanchu]

I was disturbed to overhear in Claire's Accessories yesterday a mum trying to persaude her obviously distressed child to have her ear(s) pierced, saying it wouldn't hurt. The child was about 6 I think. I wasn't sure if the child had had one done and refused the next, she was crying. The shop staff just stood by. I was tempted to say something but didn't. What do you think? and shouldn't shops have some kind of age policy? personally I think its fine for say 13 yr olds and up and I know Italians for example often have babies' ears pierced but i was very unhappy about the coercion.

I think chav, btw, loosely means tasteless and/or vulgar.

But chav is a term which people use about others when they wish to assert that they are 'better' than whoever they feel they will label as 'chav'. It is very plainly directed at people and is not just an adjective. Snobbery is very unpleasant.

Lucy, I agree that there is no physical benefit to the child. However, as explained earlier, some cultures (including mine) would argue spiritual benefit to the child. I hasten to mention it given that one poster dismissed this as nothing more than superstition, although quite frankly one could say that about any religion.

I think it could be said that most of us impose our own choices onto our children in various ways, many of which may not have any tangible benefit.

Not just an adjective, no; 'chav' is a noun but I don't see it as any different from goth, hippy, townie, earth mother, yuppie, hooray henry, yummy mummy etc. ie a word or phrase that is used to describe a person's lifestyle/beliefs/behaviours; not necessarily in a derogatory way.

Yes novice, that is exactly why I'm not sure where I stand on it. The logical side of me leans towards agreeing with the superstition POV (though I don't think I'd go that far in the description....maybe), but the other side thinks that spiritual belief is important (even though I'm not hugely religious myself). I've never seen it look 'nice' though, would never do it to a child myself and I'm yet to see a reason that would justify it for me.

Oh Olifin - of course 'chav' is derogatory - how could you possibly argue otherwise?? I don't think any of us enjoy being reduced to the stereotypes you mention, in any case...

Some people embrace the chav label, I've seen it with my own surprised eyes :).

It doesn't matter, it is generally an offensive term imo.

probably worth saying that most child abusers would never regard themselves as such.

If you guys have convinced yourselves that it is fine to make holes in children who are too young to protest, then I guess we can't change your minds.

That doesn't change the fact that many people would consider you to be abhorrently cruel people - Like it or lump it

So, if ear piercing is child abuse, why are social/health services not concerned about it MM?? Parents can now be prosecuted for allowing their children to truant from school and are spoken to quite severely if their child is obese.

Cruelty is the deliberate infliction of severe pain. I do not consider ear piercing to be 'cruel'. For me it was certainly far less painful than a vaccination.....

Just because it is socially acceptable, it does not make it right.

For example, it was socially acceptable to treat women as second class for many, many years, it was also socially acceptable for almost anybody to beat a child for hundreds of years too.

If evils are not challenged then society does not progress.

I'm afraid that you cannot justify putting holes in babies unless you are a doctor doing an operation or a nurse giving a necessary injection. It is unnecessary and cruel and a breach of their basic human rights.

Anyway, I must go, I am giving my cat a bikini wax

'Just because it is socially acceptable, it does not make it right.'

That is true, but it's also not right for you to make harsh judgments about others based upon your personal views about ear piercing.

I don't agree that it's 'cruel' or 'evil' (where is the evidence for these claims?), though accept it is a decision made by me instead of leaving my child to decide for herself. Ear piercing is so mainstream that within that context I don't see much potential for my daughter to grow up and feel that she hates the fact she has pierced ears. The holes are very small and do not damage or disfigure the child's body in any way.

Just to be clear before I catch flack for this, I am not 100% sure on my POV here. But to be fair electra, it is disfiguring to a child's body, even if it is in a small way. That's not really disputable.

'Disfigurement is the state of having one's appearance deeply and persistently harmed'

Really Lucy?? I would dispute that ear piercing fits the above criteria.

Yes really. It is a permanent change, the holes very rarely close up entirely (at least not without scaring) and should the child later choose not to wear earrings, the holes can and do stretch, causing further disfigurement. Definitions of the word vary, but I would wager that piercings fit almost all of them.

Sorry, scaring scarring.

Its none of your business really, she was just trying 'persuade' the child to have their ears done.
Many many years ago, my sister begged my mum to let her have her ears pierced. So my Mum did mine as well (with a sterile sewing needle). It didn't hurt one bit. Obviously everyones different but maybe the mother really believed that too.
You shouldn't be so quick to judge others parenting choices just because they're different from your own.

I'm dreading the day my children ask to have their ears pierced.... I won't be going with them. I was far too scared to ever have my ears pierced. I just don't get it. Why would anyone want to make a hole in themselves? I used to feel ill at school when people removed their earrings. Dh will have to take them as he used to have 3 earrings.

Why would you persuade your 6 year old to have theirs pierced? Why not wait until they want to have it done? It's a pita at school as they have to be removed for pe lessons, wait until they are older.

[rolls eyes]@ Balmy

Electra and Novice, I think both of you have big chips on your shoulders if you interpret my comment, when using culture as an excuse for needlessly putting holes in a child's ear, that I am glad my culture doesn't require any practices that inflict pain as a racist comment. The issue was culture, people insist culture is to blame(which I think is rubbish anyway as I'm sure there are cultural practices you choose to ignore).

I think you should have the comments about me being racist removed, I find them deeply insulting and offensive.

@Electra, you obviously take great offence at the assertion you are a child abuser and will argue black-is-white to make people (yourself) believe it is untrue.

I do understand where you are coming from but you can't really justify butting holes in kids. It is an abuse of your authority over them and quite disgusting.

Of course you won't believe your daughter will grow up an be disturbed that she has been disfigured in this way - thats' because you have convinced yourself that you are right, evn to the point of hiding behind society and culture - Sad.

DD is 6 and she asked to have her ears pierced this summer. She had it done on the first Saturday of the holidays, we've done everything we were told to do in terms of cleaning them etc and they have healed just fine. She didn't cry or even flinch when it was done, and is adamant that it didn't hurt her.

She is wearing tiny, tiny studs which she is now able to put in and remove herself. I was 6 when I had my ears pierced and I, like DD, wasn't forced into it, it's what I wanted.

TBH, the I view the word Chav as being as bad as calling a traveller 'pikey' - it's not on and I hate hearing it and would never use it to describe someone.

I'm against it because it looks tacky, naff and like a child needs enhancement, mine do not as they are beautiful without adornments.