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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In loathing "pop-ins"?

121 replies

Madinitials · 31/08/2010 21:51

Or even just plain miserable?

I cannot bear it when people pop in on me without calling first, it just pees me off and I have found myself hiding in my own house. I live in a funny little part of my town that no one would really be "passing through" and could legitimately pop in except my parents as they live here too and don't do mobile phones except on long journeys and even then, my mom switches hers off once she has made a call!!

I liked to be warned that someone is coming over so that I can get up/tidy up, I just hate being caught unawares.

Am I the only person who feels like this? Does this make me boring? Should I "fix up" as my sister puts it?

OP posts:

ilovehens · 31/08/2010 21:55

I don't like pop ins either, but we never get any because we have nobody to pop in on us really.

I would just hide in the loo if I wasn't happy about letting somebody visit me. My house is never tidy enough to tolerate an uninvitied visit and sometimes there's even hen poo on the tiles if they've been in the house.

YANBU

Theantsgomarching · 31/08/2010 21:59

I think it is just basic manners to let someone know you intend to call. This has caused no end of sarcastic comments from extended in-laws...they see it as snobby that i want to know they are coming before they ring the bloody bell!

Drives me potty! YANBU

ruddynorah · 31/08/2010 22:03

what i do when i hear the door bell go is put the hoover out on the rug. looks like i'm mid tidy up you see.

Mishy1234 · 31/08/2010 22:04

YANBU, but most people who know me understand I don't like it!

The most recent pop-in I had was from our minister who just happened to be cycling past on his way back from a visit. Took me ages to work out who the strange bloke chaining his bike to our gate was! I had a moment of blind panic as I tried to work out how I was going to tidy an entire house before he made it up the driveway. Needless to say I didn't manage and it was quite an awkward half hour during which DS1 managed to unearth an ancient tampon (unused!) from under the sofa and proceed to dismantle it at his feet.

WhereYouLeftIt · 31/08/2010 22:04

I quite like it! Doesn't happen often though ... the house is usually a mess but someone popping in is the perfect excuse to leave it that way .

Greenshadow · 31/08/2010 22:07

Oh, how I wish it would happen more.

WE have had to move round the country quite a bit and don't really feel part of the area yet. Would love to have enough good friends who feel relaxed enough to be able to just drop by.

Spacehopper5 · 31/08/2010 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Starbuck999 · 31/08/2010 22:26

YANBU - People always pop in when the house it a tip! or when I've just got back from a night shift at work. Or you have a hugely busy day and everything has been planned and someone sits and wants to chat and drink coffee all morning!

Although, my closest mates and i do pop in on each other but we do so on the understanding that if someone is busy we make our own coffee and muck in helping to clean/mow the lawn/feed the kids etc and be prepared to be booted out if someone is on their way out!

backwardpossom · 31/08/2010 22:29

It totally depends on who the person popping in is. If it's one of my friends from down the street, I don't mind as I always pop in on them and we all have messy houses due to the kiddies.

Relatives, on the other hand...

TooPragmatic · 31/08/2010 22:31

ruddynorah, that is pure genius!

Doodleydoo · 31/08/2010 22:32

YANBU
In fact whilst heavily pg and having a rest from all cleaning of any sort and having a sleep on the sofa (dd was at nursery) my mother "popped in". I was fucking livid slightly angry, especially when she rang up dh and told him she thought we ought to get a cleaner as I obviously wasn't coping.

I got cross.

Doodleydoo · 31/08/2010 22:33

Ruddy Norah - I need several hoovers in several rooms..............

SarfEasticated · 31/08/2010 22:34

You need to move to London, no-one does that here - we're far too unfriendly!

I invite friends round for dinner/lunch etc but don't like any unannounced visitors hell I don't even like people ringing me - far too intrusive - an email/text is enough, or actually, just check my facebook

puffling · 31/08/2010 22:35

I've never popped in on anyone (or at least not since I was a child and knocked on to see if so and so could come out to play).

cardibach · 31/08/2010 22:36

Why are you all so worried about people seeing untidied houses?

I think YABU: people call round to see YOU and to show their regard/friendship for YOU.

How can that be a bad thing?

chitchat07 · 31/08/2010 22:36

I read somewhere that you should always leave 'Get Well' cards out so that if the house is a mess people assume it is because you have been ill!!!!

Otherwise you could just leave your handbag, jacket and keys next to the front door and if someone 'drops in' you just grab them and say 'Oh I'm so sorry, I was just on my way out! Perhaps if you give me a ring next time I would have a chance to try and be in for a visit?!' and then leave, without ever having let them in the house!!!!

MoralDefective · 31/08/2010 22:38

Jeez,get over,you'tre a long time dead

ThatVikRinA22 · 31/08/2010 22:38

god you miserable buggers!

i only ever see anyone if they pop in. and im never ready for them, the loo always needs cleaning and my knickers are bound to be on the bathroom floor.

i have no family except one sister. i can go weeks without seeing anyone in my own home and i dont think i would mind if people popped to see me.
but they dont as all my friends are as busy as me these days.
everything is arranged to the nth degree.
yabu.

PawMum · 31/08/2010 22:39

I am inbetween greenshadow in wishing we lived long enough in places for people to feel comfortable doing thjat and being with you madinitials and never being up or tiody if someone were to do it :)

MoralDefective · 31/08/2010 22:40

oops sorry,you're a long time dead.

nattiecake · 31/08/2010 22:40

haha, good plan chitchat, but doesnt work if youre still in your PJs....

chitchat07 · 31/08/2010 22:43

Sure it does, just makes sure it's a LONG coat instead!!!!

Doodleydoo · 31/08/2010 22:43

We are always a mess and it isn't something that I am proud of , would like to justify myself in that my parents phoned earlier and I asked them NOT to come but they turned up anyway and THEN phoned DH to tell hiim we needed a cleaner. That is what made me cross, mind you if you could see the house after the now employed cleaner comes - it sparkles for all of 5 mins and then toddler time occurs making the whole process irrelevant

Hassled · 31/08/2010 22:52

On the plus side, on the odd occasion when you get a pop-in and the house is actually presentable, you can feel smug about it for days.

The ILs have this annoying habit of just wandering in the back door. It happens on average once a year but still manages to annoy the hell out of me.

Original poster

Madinitials · 31/08/2010 22:55

The worst thing about my hiding from pop-ins is that my nosey vigilant next door neighbour says to the visitor "I haven't SEEN her go out today". WTF?

OP posts:

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