In loathing "pop-ins"?

[Madinitials]

Or even just plain miserable?

I cannot bear it when people pop in on me without calling first, it just pees me off and I have found myself hiding in my own house. I live in a funny little part of my town that no one would really be "passing through" and could legitimately pop in except my parents as they live here too and don't do mobile phones except on long journeys and even then, my mom switches hers off once she has made a call!!

I liked to be warned that someone is coming over so that I can get up/tidy up, I just hate being caught unawares.

Am I the only person who feels like this? Does this make me boring? Should I "fix up" as my sister puts it?

Love pop ins. hardly anyone does. apart from one closest friend round the corner who has 2 sons similar ages to mine. love her popping in.
wish more people would.

I HATE people popping in and try and avoid opening the door if I don't know who it is/have something arranged.

Thing is, like today I was in my PJs till about 2pm. I would of been mortified if MIL or somebody had caught me. Yesterday, I spent the day gardening and was sweaty and STUNK in manky dirty clothes for the rest of the day until the kids went to bed and I had time to sort myself out. If anybody had popped in yesterday while I was in that state, it would have really bothered me.

Since moving away from everybody I know, except FIL, I actually feel a lot more comfortable at home. I don't worry about the state of my house unless I am having guests and I wear what I want etc.

I used to hate them, but don't mind them so much since having DS.

The thing is, though, I really love having time on my own.

You can't really say to someone "I've been looking forward to being by myself so much and now have to wrench my social head back on."

I'm actually pretty social, but I do like to have some say as to the when.

I think the earlier poster who made the point about British pussyfooting made a good case.

nobody pops in here - we are in a flat with an entry system.

but a friend or two will call and say they're in the area - i sometimes say 'oh, i really need to get out, meet you in the park/cafe/local pub' or i just say i can't as am busy.. or i say yes, come up to the flat.

easy.

i don't care about being in PJs late morning or sweaty running kit or whatever.. so what? i just say 'been busy'..

Hate pop ins too. I thought I was in the minority but I see from here I'm not!

YANBU - I especially hate it when people just walk in through the front door, if I leave the gates open.

i dont mind if a friend calls by in passing and if im not busy im happy to invite them in and dont worry about the mess, but i hate it when people turn up late at night when dd is in bed and i want to chill not entertain, or peer in the window and POL phone and when i answer they say oh good your in we are coming round, like i have no choice in the matter.
my mom always hated her aunt as a child as 1 day they had a family day trip planned and the aunt turned up unannounced and her mother was too polite to tell the aunt it was bad timing so they all missed their day out.

YANBU - I hate it. But then I am something of a control freak and dislike being caught off-guard in any situation.

As has been said - what's wrong with a ten minute warning phonecall so I can at least wipe the chocolate digestive crumbs off my chin put some lipstick on.

Oh, and before anyone starts harping on about 'I wish I had time to put lipstick on'....I don't have any DCs (yet) but my friends do - and what sort of 'aunty' would I be if I didn't dish out horrible, wet, squidgy, smacking, embarrassing, lipsticky kisses to children?

Adults are allowed to 'pop in'.

They may not bring their children. Children require booking in advance

ive always had loads od pop inns,ex complained it was like living in a drop in centre,i joke we need a revolving door

course theres been times when id rather they hadnt but NOT often i like my friends to feel welcome and they can do that

im from the south but have spent years with nothern folk,majority of friends are and think thats more the done thing

even had a couple of mates turn up very late/early hours with troubles and im just glad i can help

just seems very offish that if your a good friend you have to arrange before they can come round

ming you ex hated it and felt left out his words

oh and the front door is always unlocked most just walk in i love it

mind you they also have to do their share of making tea etc at mine

I make dh text me when he's about to leave work so he doesn't just 'arrive'.

Basically so that the dog doesn't start barking causing me to believe that ebay parcels are being delivered - and I jump off the loo quickly to run downstairs to answer the non-existant door

YANBU - I never answer the door unless I know in advance who it will be.

I love people popping in! They only get guaranteed tidiness/cleanliness if I know about it in advance tho. Most of my pop-in friends would expect to muck in with tea/coffee/mayhem depending on what we were doing at the time :)

That said I realize many people don't appreciate unexpected visitors so I do always call or text ahead if I'm passing by somewhere with time to drop by.

If timing was bad then friends would understand and drop in another time, no bad feelings either side. And if we were mid shag it would be about 2am and therefore said friends would be in dire straits so we'd stop and put the kettle on anyway!

I would hate it. I think it is a personality thing. I am more of a planner than a spontaneous person. I make appointments weeks, months in advance and keep to them. Popping in would throw me out.

Having said that, dcs and I very occasionally do 'pop in' to one of our neighbour's house who has a son my ds' age. She loves it (I hope!) and is a spontaneous live-for-the-moment sort of person.

Technokitten says it perefctly.
why are you all so paranoid at people popping round and seeing the way you truely live. whats to be ashamed about ? so you've got a few cups not washed up ? bug deal. It IS the way you live.
sometimes at my house its neat. sometimes its a mess. take me as you leave me.
i make my friend a cup of tea. or i say to her, the equivalent of, you can't stay too long becasue i have to go and .....
she is never offended. and neither am I ?

you are all too hung up.

I'm not paranoid. I just prefer to arrange to meet people at mutually convenient times, not when they feel like it and I feel I have no choice. Luckily my friends and relatives feel the same.

I hate the term playdate. My kids just play out, but they do phone their friends first to arrange where and when to meet up, where as when I was young we'd just knock on each others doors. I suspect if we had had mobiles we'd have used them, where as phoning the house phone and having to speak to an adult was a bit intimidating.

TO op
oyu are a miserable anti social sod

i actually hate people popping it. I hate it.
if i dont know someone is coming round in wearing my worst old clothes, the ones that ive painted in, or bleached in, or that are too big/holey/grim. Ive no make up on and my hair is a mess.

ive answered the door a few times like this and people have assumed i was ill - im not, thats just actually how i bloody well look!!

Now i dont answer the door if i didnt know.

When i was married to a soldier and lived on the patch, 'pop ins' happed all the time. drove me nuts, or pops ins that included being expected to provide food/booze for about 5 people off the hoof. Ex dh used to leave the front door unlocked and people used to just walk in, until i kept going mental about it.
But having to keep the house pristine ( if you didnt it would be gossiped about) and looking fab all hours of the day and night was horrendous.