In loathing "pop-ins"?

[Madinitials]

Or even just plain miserable?

I cannot bear it when people pop in on me without calling first, it just pees me off and I have found myself hiding in my own house. I live in a funny little part of my town that no one would really be "passing through" and could legitimately pop in except my parents as they live here too and don't do mobile phones except on long journeys and even then, my mom switches hers off once she has made a call!!

I liked to be warned that someone is coming over so that I can get up/tidy up, I just hate being caught unawares.

Am I the only person who feels like this? Does this make me boring? Should I "fix up" as my sister puts it?

Hassled, I have put a padlock on my back gate solely for that reason. PIL have been known to come into my back garden and peer though the kitchen window.

I quite like pop ins

Yes, not knowing that people are coming is a perfect excuse for untidiness. Really doesn't bother me unless it's actually anything embarrassing...

On the other hand, it totally depends who it is. There are certain people I'm not keen to see under any circumstances.

This has made me feel so much better about my complete aversion for people coming over with no notice! Where I live noone would just "pop in" but they might call to say they are round the corner so can they pop over. I always say "give me 10 mins" and que me running round picking up knickers, spraying air freshners, scrubbing the toilet...!
I kept SIL and BIL in the outside lobby once when they wanted "pop in" when getting their car from our carpark. I was so mortified by the state of the house I just couldn;t do it.

I know I should just tidy more often but we all know it's not that simple!!!

What the f""k is wrong with you all?....,who cares what your homes look like...are your friends your friends ,or are they competitors,....'scrubbing the toilets','spraying air freshners',........get a freaking life!...i am sooooo glad you are NOT my friends...i hope my friends don't check out my loo.....or look under my kitchen sink....they might get a fright!!

MoralDefective - gotta say I'm glad you're not my friend, too!

Hey ho

I used to love it.
Now I hate it.
I am a grumpy old woman

I'd hate it, but thankfully no-one does it. Living a long way from relatives and friends means you want to find someone in if you choose to visit them, and want to feel welcome.

If anyone did pop in regularly I'd be happy to tell them that I would prefer them to phone first to check it's convenient.

I think poppers in are selfish, wanting other people to live by their chosen timetable, and would probably say this if anyone moaned about "making an appointment".

It's not making an appointment, it's seeing each other at a mutually convenient time.

I hate anyone knocking at the door tbh! Have been known to hide when someone has knocked by unannounced if the house has been messy or I've been lying around half naked!

To be fair no one really does this to us anymore- must have got the hint

It doesn't matter cardibach if they want to come round. What if I don't want them to come round? Or consider it an inconvenience?

I think it is really rude.

YANBU - however, I really feel it is due to our bloody british reserve and lack of being able to speak frankly but courteously.

"I was passing and wondered if you had time for a coffee"

answer

" Thanks so much for the thought but it really isn't timing - perhaps we can get together next week?"

if we were all a bit more honest with each other then there would be no hurt feelings because the person would understand your honesty as they would have been able to say the same if the tables were turned.

I love it, i'm never doing anything thats so important I can't stop for half hour and have a cuppa and a chat with a freind.

Now I would love to love people popping in - but its only ever the people I don't want to see that do it. Probably because the people I do want to see get regular invites anyway.

I would never presume to pop-in on somebody without ringing first either, despite the fact that most of my ILs love people to do it. It just doesn't feel right.

I would also dearly love my house to always be in a fit enough state for pop-ins, but sadly with 3 dcs and 3 dogs in a shoe-box that is never going to happen.

Why is it that whenever people do actually pop-in, its always on the worst possible day, when the place is a tip, the dcs are overtired, ill or running round like hooligans wrecking the place and I've been up with one or even all of them for half the night, been running round like a headless chicken since the crack of dawn and still haven't had time for shower, so look like a poor mix of Mrs Mop and the Wild Woman of Borneo?

My Mum always recounts the tale of when a very posh friend of my Dad's family turned up unnannounced about an hour after we had decided to have a huge sort out of all the upstairs rooms and had the bright idea of chucking everything we didn't want down the stairs. Mum opened the front door, the lady took one look at the stairwell, sneered, stuck her nose in the air and stalked back down the drive! Mind you, she never visited again!

I think that now most people have mobile phones, there's actually no excuse for turning up unannounced, as it only takes a couple of seconds to send a text asking if its convenient.

I love people popping in - why wouldn't you?!

If it is seriously simply because you ae worried about the state of your house that is actually quite sad. To forgo company and a good time for the sake of a hoovered rug.

Oh I'm depressed now....

I quite like my own company sometimes.
I suspect people with "pop in" personalities are probably quite selfish and not likely to be the people you'd want to see any old time. People I am close to would be more considerate, and as others said as most folk have mobiles a quick call to say "I'm in the area/ at a loose end is it convenient..." is easy to do.

Oh I hate pop ins!! This reminds me of a funny story. Few years back was supposed to be having tea at my folks on a Sunday - was so hungover that I left a message on their answerphone saying I had to work so couldn't make it.

Fast forward a few hours as I veg on the couch in my pj's and the knocks on the door start - i ignore it!! Then the phone rings - I figure its whoever is at door so ignore that. All goes quiet so I peek out the kitchen window to see my parents outside on the phone. My over protective mother only phoned the police and ambulance (i kid you not) to say they thought I was dead inside of carbon minoxide poisining as I had not turned up for lunch!! Turns out she had not listened to my message. I almost did die when I seen the police turn up as I poked out the bedroom window. Had to go out and come clean - well lie again and say I was really unwell and had phoned in work sick. Mortified is not the words!! Now I just answer the door first time lol - but I still hate it. Would not mind but I was a 28 year old married woman!!! MORTIFIED

I loathe it. It isn't just that the house will be in a mess (which it always is) but it can be such dreadful timing.

I don't appreciate people stopping by unannounced if I'm mid-shag, in the middle of studying (time for which is precious) or having a bath.

People letting themselves in or peering through the windows though - bloody hell that would make me absolutely furious. Do these people think their grown up children don't have private lives?

I may be in the minority, but popping-in has always been 'our way'.As others have said, they are there to see you - not pass judgement. You can't choose when to be a friend only when it suits you.

'Popping in' is just that - not an overnight stay or an expectation of a meal, just a quick cuppa and a catch-up.

I suppose now it has gone out with the hand written letters, the thank you notes.

But people who pop in are choosing to be a friend when it suits THEM regardless of whether or not it suits the person they are popping in on.
What's wrong with a quick phone call to arrange to meet up?