to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

It is perfectly possible to use a car without going on motorways. In some parts of the country you'd have to drive a fair way to even find one.

If it's so important that everyone can do it, why is it not part of the driving test?

germl
I had forgotten that lerner drivers are not allowed to drive on motorways. Perhaps that is why motorway driving is such a "problem" in the minds of some - as it is seen as too dangerous to let learners do it.

I learnt to drive in Germany and it is compulsory to have a number of lessons on the motorway.

I would not say that women who won't drive long distances are pathetic but would strongly advise anyone who is nervous about it, to get out there and practice, or do an advanced driving course.

My MIL has a licence but has never driven (as PIL is quite dominant, and preferred to drive). Last year he badly broke his arm and could not drive for 3 months. It was very difficult for them to have to ask friends and family to take them where they needed to go.

I don't get it but I love driving, unfortunately so does DH so any outing involving a car involves a tussle for the keys.

No, it's not hard but driving somewhere you don't know can be intimidating. I've done plenty of driving over the years round London and round the M25 and I can easily navigate some of the most complicated one way systems and round abouts but I still get jittery on unfamiliar roads. I was a much more confident driver when I was younger, was only driving myself rather than my children and hadn't seen how bloody awful some drivers are, particularly on motorways.

If it was only me on the roads I'd be supremely confident, it's the other maniacs that scare me.

My MIL won't drive on motorways or long distances. So she won't drive to see us which is one reason we hardly see her. Actually there is a direct train from her town to our village and she won't come on that so maybe she just doesn't want to come.

I hate driving so although I can do it I never do. Probably just as well for the nations' road users.

(although I am aware that we could be in the shit should dh do something stupid whilst plaing cricket...)

I'm bloody good at nagivating though.

Originally I would have agreed with the OP actually, but having read some of the thread and people's real fears about driving, I feel a bit shame faced about that now.

I guess there is a big difference between certain members of my family who "just daren't" even attempt learning to drive but want to be driven around by the rest of the family day in, day out.....

(Yes this does really annoy me and leads to some perfectly ludicrous logistical arrangements at times trying to have a meal out as a family for example)

....and people who are geuninely scared of driving or some parts of driving.

I had an accident years and years ago and HATED driving for some time after that. But I had to make myself or I would have not been able to do my job and would have been unemployed. Eventually the more I drove, the more the feeling wore off.

Obviously for some drivers especially in certain situations it doesn't.

Muriel, I have nightmares about driving and the thought of it makes me cry and feel sick. Probably my only real phobia I think.

I hate explaining it to friends in rl.

do you know what I find pathetic? People like you who can't be happy unless they make others feel miserable. What's it got to do with you anyway?
Do you think that people who aren't confident enough to drive in certain circumstances CHOOSE to feel like this? In an ideal world everyone would be able to do anything they like!Isn't there anything that you are anxious and nervous about?If not, then congratulations on being so perfect!

Prettybird, I love your driving in Egypt bit, very funny!

To me, it's like someone thinking I'm pathetic for not wanting to do my own freebirth. I'd rather not.

Although actually, the only person who gives me grief about it is my mother, and even she's got used to the idea. Most people don't know I don't drive. Since we don't have a car and live in a city, it isn't terribly obvious.

YABU.

If you aren't confident driving on motorways it is perfectly sensible and, in fact, responsible, not to do so.

I find having a car and not using it to it's full potential a bit odd, but thats only my opinion and is related to the fact I like driving.

I do think it makes a difference when people learn to drive, I think the younger they are the more confident they generally are.

I had a friend who refused to drive on the Motorway, which meant she couldn't visit her family without her parents or DH. I found it odd but would rather she wasn't on the motorway with me if she's that nervy. The thing was she would moan that she couldn't, I would argue she wouldn't. Get motorway lessons - yes it costs money but it's well spent.

FWIW I do think a few hours worth of motorway lessons should be compulsory for a full driving licence along with limited engine size for the first 2 years.

It's not a female issue exclusively. How many men do you know who would admit to being nervous drivers, not very good motorway drivers etc? Men are egotistical drivers. They don't admit weakness. Men driving pigheadely is just as worrying as women not driving or driving nervously.

germl - pass plus? Which also lowers your insurance?

It is a ridiculous argument to say nervous/poor drivers can just pull over. What if the layby is closed, do you just endanger everyone else while you shiver along to the next one? Pull off on the hard shoulder (very safe, that)? I'm sorry, but it sounds as if for some people, nerves are terribly important as a justification for not liking to drive, yet strangely easy to control when in an unpredictable situation full of other vulnerable people.

I know plenty of men who admit to being nervous drivers. I know plenty of women who roar around going too fast and tailgating in the outside lane.

I don't think it's just a women thing. i'm sure there are many men who are nervous drivers but just wouldn't admit it.

My mum is a nervous driver and has managed in over 30 years of driving to never drive on a motorway and never drive further than about 30 miles.

This is due to the fact that when she was younger my dad drove for a living and always drove when they went places. She never got a chance and then when they divorced she was left with no confidence when it came to driving and it's just got worse as the years have gone by.

YABU saying it's pathetic. It may not be hard to you but it is to others.

I agree with yellowdaffodil. Motorway driving should be part of the compulsory test then people (not just women) will have some experience before they are left to their own devices.

Hopefully my mum gets some practice next week. She is driving us on a 4 hour journey on some motorway so hopefully she can overcome this hurdle and not be "pathetic" anymore.

Haven't read all the thread but a satnav is a godsend. Got so fed up with trying to find cricket pavilions in fields in the middle of nowhere etc. Tells you which lane to get in which was always my problem on 'difficult' roads.

I felt the responsibility of driving long distances with DCs playing up. Now have no choice but to get on and do it. Since helping DS1 to learn to drive I have become a much better driver too.

Sherbert, we live on a lane which turns into a very muddy bridle path. The entrance to the cricket ground is at the bottom of the lane. On Sunday one of the opposition players got sent by his SatNav straight up the bridle path and he had to get a farmer to pull him out.

An old friend of mine still endures 3 bus changes to get to work every morning, even though she has a driving license and has free parking at work.

She earns shedloads of money but won't drive because of......

ROUNDABOUTS!

So sad.

well i guess i am pathetic, i admit it
and you lot can stick it up your smug little arses, thanks

been driving 2 years
i don't mind driving short distances, and do so on a daily basis, would find it hard to manage without being able to but get unutterably stressed driving on the motorway-especially with 2 small children in the back-I have done it, but only when dh is in the car too

can't bear the idea of getting lost , that stresses me out as much as the driving, yes i should get satnav, no i haven't yet
yes i should practice more
blah blah blah

i think people who have been driving a long time or has never been nervous about it don't remember or don't know what it's like to get so stressed about it

and they can sod off, frankly

I love my car. I once drove 750 miles in the UK in one day to places I'd never been before and without a map. I feel really sorry for all these scared women. My sense of freedom is so intertwined with my ability to get in the car whenever I want and go anywhere.