to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

This was one of the answers on LinkedIn to an Icelander asking about driving in Egypt (this was one of the positive ones! )

"Yeah well, driving in Egypt, hey? With a bit of luck and a defensive driving outlook, you should be fine.

The key to understanding local driving is clearly to keep the following points in mind:

• Most cars on Egyptian roads are badly designed for driving purposes, because the indicator switch is on the right side of the steering wheel. People in Egypt normally drive with their left arm perched on the window ledge or hanging out of the window, so the indicator would need to be operated with the right hand, which is of course holding the steering wheel. Result: Using the indicator is impractical and therefore hardly ever done.

• Do you play chess? If so, driving in Egypt is very easy. Like in chess, analyse your current position, then just move into the next free space in front of you. Do this fairly fast. Think of it as chess on speed.

• Do you practice Buddhism, Hinduism or some other religion that believes in rebirth? This would help immensely when driving in Egypt as it would keep the nervousness at bay.

• Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatalities.

• Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.

• Pay attention to traffic lights at all times. Green means "Go". So does red. And yellow.

Lastly, if you decide to hire a car, go for the biggest model your money can afford, because on the roads in Egypt, might equals right and, especially at roundabouts, entrance speed always equals exit speed... "

I will reverse! I meant I can't reverse park.

lots of x posts. I think I've come to this thread late and been left with the non drivers who are fuming about earlier posts. I'm not just talking about my mum as she is now - she never would drive abroad even when my age.

hmc I bow to your superior abilities in everything.

LittleRedDragon, nervous drivers are no more inherently unsafe than confident ones, although I can't speak for your brother of course.

If a nervous driver is happy driving small distances or roads that they know well, but fearful of driving long distances when their concentration is likely to suffer, I cannot for the life of me see why that should be an unreasonable position, or why, having passed a test like everyone else, they should be told to give up altogether (and presumably then be branded even more of a disgrace to womankind).

i think it comes down to this.

if you think you are putting other people at danger

if it means you have to wait for your dp.dh to drive you somewhere

if it means that you have to plan your route to avoid roundabouts.

if it affects your life, makes you nervous etc.

you need to get more instruction.

i am a fucking fabulous driver, not so fabulous drivvers really piss me off.

when i first passed my test, my dh and my bil conspired to get me an automatic, becuase as i am a girl i would handle it better being a new driver. fuckheads. so, a year later when i got a proper car i took refresher lessons. i wasn't rich, and the money could have been well used for many other things, but it was the sensible thing to do, y'know being incharge of a heap of metal that can kill.

claig "As far as I know, our ex Prime Minister, Gordon Bennett, didn't drive either. Difference is he was pathetic."

I think you'll find he was blind in one eye and called Gordon Brown (or was that a "joke")

"hmc I bow to your superior abilities in everything".

Good - pleased to hear it.

YANBU.

A significant percentage of posters on here have given reasonable accounts as to why they can't or won't drive in certain places/at certain times. Fair enough, but there are very few men who would ever admit to that.
Why?
And why, when you check out all the cars around you on a motorway trip with men and women in them, it is probably 90% the case that the man is in the driving seat.
Why? It can't all be down to women's phobias.
For the record, I would say I do virtually all the driving in our family. When we leave the house t get in the car, I will automatically get in the driver's side and DH the passenger's. Partly because I like it, but also because I actually don't like being being driven. And DH isn't fussed. Unless he wants to drink, so we divvy those up.
And I agree with the poster who grumbled about women shifting seats when collecting their DH from the station (or wherever). That has always irritated me.

husfa, I'm not sure about that! All the nervous people I've ever found are using their energy in being nervous. They're distracted. If someone is a nervous driver, it may be that they know they're not very able. Or it may be that they have an unfortunate and irrational fear of something to do with driving, or they've had a bad experience. I'm not saying these things are culpable, but driving if you're too nervous to cope with a particular (common) road situation, is.

I know a few people (as well as my brother), who're a bit like those described in this thread. None of them think they're bad drivers, but if you see them on the road or get in a car with them, it's quite clear they are simply not very safe. Typically, they're people who think they are being safe by driving much more slowly than the speed limit despite clear roads, braking unpredictably and without checking their mirrors, and (ok, this is just one person but it scares me to death), pulling over on the hard shoulder whenever she feels scared by a bad overtake.

If these nervous drivers have no reason to be nervous, are you saying we should just ignore the fact they're in the grip of irrational panic when they're behind the wheel?

I have been driving 18 months and I still see the car as a lethal weapon. Will make it onto motorways eventually, but need to get a chance to practice when it's not just me and three DCs under 4 (and DS1 doing a running commentary).

Two of DH's best friends don't drive and have to get their wives to take them everywhere.

I've done 120mph on an autobahn in Germany, didn't want to overdo it in case the car blew up. I've been in a pile up in Italy where everyone was doing 80 or 90 mph up each other's tails in the pouring rain. In Belgium and France it used to be priority from the right on roundabouts, not sure if it still is. Driving abroad is not as easy as all that.

It's not unreasonable not to want to drive long distances, but it is unreasonable to expect a Big Strong Man to do it for you. If you don't want to drive long distance, get on a fecking train.
I suppose what's irritating is the women who, rather than dealing with whatever it is that bothers them or employing sensible strategies for not doing whatever it is, just bleat about it and depend on other people. As someone who's been car-free all my adult life (rarely even dated anyone with a car) I get bemused and sometimes irritated with how car-dependent some people are when they don't need to be.
(Yes, all right, if you live at the end of the world with no public transport you need a car, same applies if you or one of your DC have mobility issues or other SN - plenty of people with no physical disabilites/DC with SN live in cities with excellent public transport but still insist on driving everywhere and clogging up the roads.)

I do think 120 mph, although perfectly legal in Germany, is quite ridiculous. You may feel in charge of your vehicle - but you'll be history if some twonk in the middle lane pulls out on you because they were in la la land and weren't concentrating. That's not competent driving that's reckless driving

Sorry claig - that came across as a bit strong, but feel strongly about it

You lot know some strange women. In my 38 years I've never met a woman who won't drive long distances and more often than not it's me that does the driving when we're all out.

Some people like driving, some people don't. DH does it because he has to, I do it because I love it. I don't see why it bothers anyone else, but then I feel like that about most MN threads at the moment. Maybe it's a sign...

lots of people are blind in one eye and still drive. When I saw him I always thought, Gordon Bennett

Can you imagine this thread reversed on a bloke-ish forum?

SGB - that was what I wanted to say! No one has to drive, but ffs, if you own a car, don't expect everyone else to make allowances for you not being able to sort it out!

hmc - if someone pulls out of you because you're in la la land at 70, you'll be history.

Yes you mean bunch, lets push all the nervous or cautious drivers out there in conditions they don't like and see what kind of pile ups ensue, especially alongside all the arrogant and selfish drivers who inhabit the roads these days.

But I suspect if you're THAT annoyed OP, its been used as an excuse by someone who doesn't really want to visit you, because they don't want to see you.

Pa!

hmc I agree it was dangerous, a tire could have burst or a nut come loose or anything. That's why I didn't want to push the BMW to its limits. But it was a once in a lifetime chance on a German road and I was young at the time, so I thought I would risk it.

LRD - you know as well as I do that stopping distances and reaction times are related to speed, and I could google right now and come up with a whole lots of stats to demonstrate that your are more likely to survive a front to rear end collision at 70 mph...but look, it is 12.30 and I don't have the energy! Be reasonable and concede the point, go on !

(Think about it - you are doing 120mph and the person you crash into who has just pulled out in front of you is doing 80mph so their vehicle is travelling substantially slower and is offering more resistance.....not so if you were doing 70mph when you rear ended them)

claig - hey, who hasn't done that kind of thing when young and carefree

Sometimes I despair about my own gender

I have encountered this form of abject patheticness in women and the elderly

No idea whether the women are genuinely incompetent or just posturing

It's simple - either people can drive or they can't.

If they can't then they are a liability on the roads and a danger to others.

And someone who is subject to panic attacks on the roads surely, surely shouldn't be driving.

There are lots of courses out there to help though. Driver awareness, advanced driving etc.

Personally can't stand DH driving my car. He drives it so badly. Not because he isn't competent generally (he is) but because he just doesn't know it the way I do.

That's a bit harsh towards the elderly - it doesn't take a psychologist to work out that elderly people, as the body ages and they become frailer, feel distinctly vulnerable and tend to develop apprehensiveness over all manner of things. Quite natural I think. Perfectly consistent to be an elderly driver who is a little unsure about certain driving situations, but nevertheless a safe driver and not a danger on the roads