to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

I did once get the bus into town on a cold eve for xmas shopping - there was me and two dc under 10 and we wanted to just go one and a half miles - return. The cost £7.50 and I looked shocked and the driver was embarresed that it sucha lot of money I only pay £50 per month to keep my car on the road, there is no way I could afford public transport and thats why I cycle or walk

The "what if something happened" issue arose for a friend some years ago (and this may vary from insurer to insurer). Husband fell over on holiday and broke his arm, rendering him unable to drive. They were on holiday in Spain, having driven there through western France, with him doing all the driving. The insurance company said that as there was an insured, licensed driver available, there was no reason to invoke the repatriation clauses beyond, if it took longer than they had planned, a hotel night or two.

In the end, his brother flew out at their expense and drove the car back, because even in this situation her reluctance to drive on motorways or abroad trumped everything else. Had she not been able to drive at all, the insurance company would have paid, of course.

YABU - what does it bloody matter? Get on with your own driving. Nobody is perfect

"I looked into going ont he train on loliday to dawlish for the three of us - two dc and me it was £300 on the train from the Midlands and took 10 hours. It takes me 3 hours to Exeter and another half ish to Dawlisha dn its 300 miles and I do 400 on a full tank for £75 - why would I spend all the extra money?"

One adult, two children, with a F&F railcard from Lichfield (as a random example of a Midlands town) to Dawlish takes four hours and costs £80 for the three of you on walk-on, open off-peak returns (and for practical purposes it's all off-peak), or £160 if you insist on an open, unrestricted return, although I can't at first glance find any trains that aren't off-peak.

Book it a month in advance, which for a holiday doesn't seem unreasonable, and it's £30. For all three of you. Ten pounds each.

How you manage to make it take ten hours is a total mystery. I can get it up to about five hours by choosing places that stretch the definition of "Midlands" and I know are really awkward by rail (Lincoln)

Remind me, why did you spend all that money on petrol?

well ivykaty, you are forgetting to offset tax and insurance against those fares...and if you book in advance they are a good deal cheaper...

but that is simply splitting hairs.

Driving is not a a vital part of life. It is a lifestyle choice. what part of that is hard to grasp?

everyone is different, with different levels of confidence.
night driving can be a nightmare if you can't see the road properly because of headlights. i just want to sleep as soon as it gets dark!
i personally find it more stressful getting from one place to another in my own city( a small one.)coz i'm never quite sure which road/route/turnoff to take (it gets worse as i get older), than driving to the south coast/london/birmingham which is pretty straightforward.
& i always drive with the belief that everyone else on the road is trying to kill me!!!!

The tax and insurance and wear and tear is £50 per month so even for a year it is £600 + £10 week petrol - which is far cheaper than public transport - I just can't afford it and it isn't splitting hairs a bus pass aorund here is £800 and thats just the bus, holidays etc would add up to a lot more for three of us - plus extra bus fares ontop, it would be beyond my reach to pay for public fares for one adult and two dc

I don't earn enough to be able to afford it and so cycle and drive.

tok - I have no idea why I would have to take ten hours on the trian - I looked at going in the July of around 2003 and I did look inadvance and coudln't find anything cheaper than £300 I was shocked to say the least.

i will add I was south of lichfield and had to go north to B/ham to start the journy

The only time I have foudn the trian cheapest was caming home from Brussels and it was £80 for two of us and then we got the coach from London for £20 for both - as agian the trian in this country form Londond was aorund £40 and that was booking three months in advance

i got the bus after the coach and this was two busses - the first was £7 and then second was £4 something for the one and a half mile again - so the 100 miles form London was £20 and then the next 11 and a hlaf miles was £11 - cos I was left feeling that it was odd to pay £80 form Brussels to London and then £11 to travel nearly 12 miles

I much prefered the train travel from B to L as it was fast and no problems with boarding and seats arleady allocated and no trobles with luggage or size or weight or how many bags

I tryed to get a train to B/ham internationl airport - now do that for me from Warwcik station - either of the two stations and see if you can get an early morning flight with a trian connection - they had me sleeping ont he trian in the sidings

You ticked "Friends and Family", yes? Sadly, the rail enquiries site doesn't understand the scenarios when it's cheaper to buy an annual F&F railcard just for one journey. It's a third off the tickets, plus a lot of easements (on Virgin, say, you can use peak trains on off-peak tickets, which means it's cheaper for a family to go to London in the morning than it is for an adult on their own).

Warwick Parkway to Dawlish is 4 hours, via New St and Exeter.

Warwick Parkway to Birmingham International is notoriously difficult. Get a train to Solihull and then get a taxi, which will cost about a fiver.

I just drove 1349 miles in the last 2 weeks, I drove from Brighton to Hamburg in Germany and back via an island off the cost of Holland. My husband refuses to drive abroad I refuse to get on a plane so it's all my fault. I actually though love driving abroad.

My DH won't drive round town he hates it but will do long distance drives like to my Dads which is 300 miles!

My MIL won't do motorways so won't come and see us we have to go to her, sigh...

Ooooh - I'm like that. I used to be fine on motorways but scared of inner city driving. Now I'm fine in London but hate venturing onto the m25.

I had an accident the day after I passed my test. A small accident but I was lost at the time. For me it wasn't distance but rather knowledge of where I was going. But since the invention of satnav I'm fine.

Love satnav.

Crikey not read all of the thread, but if I did not drive we would be going no-where as my DH has no licence. My mum is scared of big city driving and driving long distances, the first a function of her living in a rural location for the whole of her life and being scared of getting lost or doing something wrong. The second as she is now in her 70s with a heart condition and concerned that she would just get too tired. These things did not stop her driving me in labour on the outskirts of London to hospital. We had loads of practice runs to make sure she knew where to go. I was deeply impressed though.

Haven't read all of the thread, but I confess to being one of those women who is not very confident about driving at all, and I hate motorways with a passion. Sorry if that is letting the side down.

I am well educated, well travelled and generally confident. Very independent and self-sufficient. I work in a demanding job, and am the main breadwinner in our family. I am also the only person with a driving license, as OH doesn't have one. And I have actually done loads of long distance driving in the last couple of years, as I have forced myself onto the motorway despite my fears. I don't crawl along when I'm on there, and I have even plucked up the courage to do it by myself now. But I still hate it, and suspect I always will.

Nobody knows about my phobia except my husband and my parents - we moved house last year, and I have spent loads of time bombing up and down the M1 in recent months, so my friends would probably be amazed to know how much it terrifies me. I choose not to make a big deal of it, because I know I'm actually a competent driver and it's irrational. I just feel physically sick every time I have to merge from a slip-road!

But most phobias are irrational. I wonder who can say that they are completely free from silly hang-ups??

But for a 6.35am flight - which there are plenty of flights at that time but no public transport to get you to the flight for 5am

I tryed really hard even contemplated sleeping at the airport - but I couldn't find a train

So it was taxi for £32 one way, then get back to Warwick from BI station to Leamington and then bus which would cost approx £12

Or drive and park the car and drive both direction, and park for £50 - so I drove and left at 3.30am and was at the airport in plenty of time as the carpark shuttle you to the doors.

I am trying to plan a trip to jewellry quarter from Warwick and it is costing £12.20 for me - how much do you think it will be for dd2 age 11 and driving will be 38 miles

I have just tryed taking dd2 and the price has gone down...to £9.30

Do you think they will notice if I go back next week to collect my stuf and she is nto with me?

Ooh don't mention slip roads...

I passed my test 3 months ago, I can 'do' motorways, it is nerve wracking, but less so the more I do it and the more I gain in co nfidence.

If less confident drivers shouldn't go out on the raods, then none of us would ever get any better at driving.

But I do take the view that I am a competetant driver and quite capable of rising to the challenge. I don't let fear and feelings of inadequacy (which we all have at times) beat me.

"Sisterrrrrs are doin it for themselvesss"

Framey as a diagnosed & previously medicated motorway phobic after several incapacitating attacks whilst driving my kids, I can empathise. Nothing triggered it, I was fine before, have driven happily for 4 years in Australia & 2 here on all roads before I suddenly felt like the world tipped sideways & I was going to die. I love driving & would really like to overcome the phobia but hypnosis, psychotherapy and meds haven't solved it! Not a 'silly woman' and hate appearing as one but best not to get myself into a situation that might kill the kids, eh?!!

AtrixChick you have special dispensation to Not Do Motorways.

When you gotta drive you gotta drive.. I think it is safer at night doing long distance than in the day. Less cars, less chance of getting in peoples face as well.....

One rule I have I would never stop, not for anything or anyone.....at night..even during the day I am very sceptical about giving a lift to anyone...years ago we gave lifts to folks unknown to us.....how the world has changed in such a short time....

ArtrixChick....I think you a very brave to keep trying to overcome your phobia. You are definitely not a 'silly womon' at all, but sound very sensible and responsible....may be just one day your fears will vanish as quickly as they arrived......(((())) I really empathise as my DiL drives but very reluctantly.....and works to overcome her fears, she hates driving, does it out of need.....

i cannot understand why some women find driving so difficult.

if you cant handle different road situations then why have a license...

you need to be capable on the road not scared that's how accidents happen. and men dont seem to have this problem.

to be honest i probably drive more than my husband.

"I am trying to plan a trip to jewellry quarter from Warwick and it is costing £12.20 for me"

You seem to inhabit an alternative transport universe to the rest of us. An adult anytime return (there is no ticket more expensive) from Warwick Parkway to Jewellery Quarter is £8.10. For an adult and a child with an F&F railcard it's £6.90 for the two of you. Where are you getting these prices?

To be fair, tokyonambu, the Rail Enquiries website is fairly random in pricing. Trying to book Birmingham-London trips, I find it always only offers me the (expensive, fast) Virgin service, and needs a real kicking before it grudgingly admits the (cheaper, slower) London Midland services exist.

Indeed, but that doesn't apply to the purchase of any permitted route open unrestricted returns. That's why I can't understand the pricing ivykaty is seeing: in each case, it's at least 50% more than the most expensive ticket you can buy for the journey.

The LM thing is a bit awkward, though. There are three trains per hour on Virgin and two per hour on the Chiltern Line. The Rail Enquiries website only displays five choices at once, so the one per hour LM service gets crowded out. If you ask for trains leaving at 1000 or 1015, you don't see LM, because it's more than five trains away. If you ask for trains leaving at 1030 or 1045, the 1053 gets shown. If you didn't know there was a cheaper service at 1053, you wouldn't get to find out 50% of the time. All this assumes you've ticked "show slower trains", of course.

What's needed is a tickbox like the "My Dates Are Flexible" thing on airline sites, which says "find me a cheaper service if it's within X minutes of my selected time".

Pre-children I used to be fine driving long distances. Even today, if I am in the car on my own then I am fine with long distances, but if we drive as a family then usually it is my husband does all the driving. Partly this is his choice - he prefers to do the driving rather than the crowd control. Partly this is my choice - he has no problem blocking out the ruckuss from the back seat, whereas I find it increadibly distracting. My confidence was knocked greatly a number of years back when I was driving into London with my then toddler son, mum and dad going to visit an auntie - the rain was driving down, my son was screaming his head of and with a seconds distraction I drove right into the back of someone at a round about (breaked too late and skidded in the rain). Fortunately not much more than a minor bump and no injuries but it was enough to really put me off driving long distances with the kids in the back. It's not because I'm sissy or pathetic it's because I genuinely believe that the children are safer that way as I know I am easily distracted by them and my husband is not.