to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

Sorry, the point of mentioning my test was that I convinced him I wouldn't do anything so stupid as to complete a manoeuvre when it was not safe to do so! LOL (Not cos I chickened out, I didn't).

Oh and I could have hated long journeys because my poor little car hated them (it would break down in traffic jams... yes I DID get it fixed....)!

Minda, I'm sure there are many men who hate driving, don't want to drive, or can't drive.

But in my family and social circle the men are all eager to jump behind the wheel, in fact I remember my brother taking his driving test in the weeks after he turned 17. He barely needed lessons. And it took me over a year to learn!

I feel safest of all though with my best friend, she is a very skilled driver but also very safe and considerate of her passengers.

Given that a car is a potentially lethal weapon I'd be worried if people pushed themselves to drive beyond their comfort zone for fear of being thought pathetic. Driving should be the preserve of the confident and capable.

There are men who don't like driving. But it's not 'normal" or acceptable for a man to say "Oh, I won;t go on the motorway" or "Oh, I can't possibly drive all that way, it must be 50 miles"

I know lots of women who do this, and who won't drive at all if there's a man in the car. One friend always says to my dp "Would you like to drive?" if she's giving us a lift! Drives me mad.

And reinforces the popularly held view of women ans pathrtic creatures who need men ot do teh "hard stuff" for them.

"One friend always says to my dp "Would you like to drive?" if she's giving us a lift! Drives me mad."

Given almost no-one has "any driver" insurance, and no one who isn't in the motor trade has personal "any car" insurance, she's presumably not a fan of insurance. Your dp probably is just about legal, as there's usually a "legal minimum for any vehicle" clause, but the aftermath of an accident with him driving her car would be pretty messy.

Tokyonambu, every fully comp insurance I've ever had has given me, as the principle named driver, automatic third party cover to drive someone else's car.

Mine too. And dps. But he always says no anyway.

With this thread in mind, I drove well out of my confort zone today - on a road I haven't driven before, down a very busy road, during rush hour, parked on the road etc etc.

Hated every minute but I don't think I was a danger to anyone and only had to flash my hazards once to apologise to a bus...

My policy has cover to drive any car but it is third party cover only.

Until I moved 250 miles away, I'd never driven further than 16 miles .

However, now I will drive from Torquay to Blackpool for a business meeting, with just a 30 minute comfort break on the way.

I do HATE driving though and only do it because I have to! I think it's the unknown that people fear, like wondering whether they'll make it before they fall asleep or whether they'll get stuck in the middle of nowhere for hours in traffic.

I think once you've travelled a long distance once, you realise how easy it is to do it!

Think I will take this opportunity to admit that I won't drive on motorways anymore. I find them just too scary.
When I first learnt to drive, thirteen years ago, I was fine about all forms of driving. But then I couldn't aford to run a car for about three years. And during that time I suddenly realised that motorways, despite being statistically safe, are potenitally leathal if you make even the smallest error. And I have never been able to get that thought out of my head again.
I am aware that is a little pathetic, but don't really know what to do about it apart from drive on a motorway. And, I don't really have to do that at the mo. If I travel long distace without DP I go by public transport (which I prefer anyhow), and as I live in North West Wales, motorways are simply not an issue.

My insurance policy covers me for any car too (not just 3rd party either).

The reason I dislike women being wimpy about driving is as Seeker, and others, have said: it reinforces the view that women are pathetic weak and easily scared creatures who aren't as at home with big machines as men.

And as for a few posters who say they don't like the responsibility of driving their dc - so much for the Mama Tiger thing when it comes to protecting the young! And if you don't feel a safe enough driver to not crash with your kids in the back, you're not safe enough to be on the road.

I make a policy of sharing all driving 50/50 with DH. I am a good confident and experienced driver, with tens of thousands of miles (UK and abroad) under my belt. However, I will admit that these days I quite like being the passenger, as DD is asleep and I can read the newspaper, picnic, relax. DH gets carsick if he reads, so prefers driving.

But I still make sure I do half the driving as I fear the bad habit of DH automatically sitting in the driving seat which some posters have described. And I want to set a good example to our DD.

Nervous drivers of Mumsnet, I call on you to take refresher lessons, confront your fears and make yourself to share the driving equally with your DPs - you'll be setting a good example.

There are lots of reasons you should practice and go out of your comfort zone,

As others have said if your dh was ill

if your dh was ill and needed driving a long distance home - even possibly form abroad

if you havd a dc in a hospital a long distance away, it would or could be stressful enough this fact your dc is ill without worrying about the driving on top - and your dh has a broken arm or is working and you need to go

There are a lot of reasons that you should prcatice because if the time came and you needed to dothis you could be even more nervous and therefroe make yourself dangerous

You owe it to yourself to go out and not be scared or nervous

Well there are some right smug eejits on here aren't there.

When a lot of women and men were shaking driving in the big bad country snow, I loved it, I was in my element as I can drive.

I won't drive long disatance as I hate it after a horrific motorway pile up courtesy of some cocksure sales rep cutting someone up at 90 odd mph and another cocksure commuter who forgot about stopping distance on a motorway, who I quote "Didn't even think as he took that route everyday".

We managed to stop didn't stop us being in the middle though and rammed at great speed into the car infront.

Now I also have 2 SN children to tend to, so although I have enough tactics to distract for 20 odd mins, I'd love someone to try and drive 30 mins plus on a motorway with no where to stop when they start screeching/humming/headbutting.

So long journeys or where there is more than one of our SN children around is only done with another adult in the car, DH offers to drive as he knows I am petrified of motorways.

I couldn't give a toss if that does not fit the feminist movement, that's my choice, no-one elses.

I do all the phonecalls in the house as DH gets a bit clammy talking on the phone, no idea why he does, it's called working together and it works for us

Emmyloulou I apologise: I didn't think about SN children distracting from driving, you're quite right, I can imagine how that would be very difficult.

Short-sighted post on my part, I didn't mean to be a smug eejit.

Its called working together, thats ok if there is more than one of you but there are a lot of people on their own and don't have the choice to work together

so just get on and do or we would miss out on stuff

True being on your own and that, I am on my own a fair bit due to DH job. I can get where I need to essentially, shops/hosps/drs/city etc, I just don't go any further I can't.

Weekends family come to me if DH is away as they know I can't have the kids in the car together on my own, I split their hospital appts so I only have one at a time. They have specialist transport for school which is miles away but I can get there if needs be down a dual carriage way

But I have never really got back on the motorway because of having them now, DH does it all.

"as the principle named driver, automatic third party cover to drive someone else's car."

Although if you don't have cover in your own name, because (say) you're a company car driver covered by your employer's block "any car owned, leased or hired, any employee or named individual" policy, you don't.

Driving other people's cars on third party cover, however, is a very good way to destroy a friendship. A asks B to drive A's car on B's third party cover. B has an accident. Will B recompense A for the damage to A's car out of their own pocket (which is the only place the money can come from?) What if whilst driving A's car, B writes it off, and B doesn't happen to have the price of a new car in their pocket? What if B says that as they were driving A's car on an errand for A, it's A's problem anyway?

I'm constantly amazed at the willingness of people to drive other people's cars, or allow other people to drive theirs. Aside from the problem of confirming there actually is cover in place, are people really willing to either pay for the damage themselves or tell their friend to get stuffed?

"The reason I dislike women being wimpy about driving is as Seeker, and others, have said: it reinforces the view that women are pathetic weak and easily scared creatures who aren't as at home with big machines as men."

Admitting you have a weakness is not pathetic, men might feel at home with big machines but it doesn't necessarily make them good drivers.

It's not me i'm worried about on the road it's all the other idiots who think they can drive....

Conversely I can park SO much better than DH... even if he does automatically drive.

it is stupid, I find myself getting abit flustered on hill starts, really cranking my bite (lol), but being fine, and the fact is I have great clutch control, and even better spacial awareness. On one of our first dates we went to the cinema and spaces were sparce. I found a space and as DH was driving he complained it wasn't big enough. So told him t get out, and I parked his car with ease... It's all about how SLOW you move (and that takes clutch control).

My fear is cos I hit someone once, while pg and sick, and very tired having been at work from 4am... I will never drive while tired again. That said, it was one of those car in front pulled away then stopped suddenly despite clear rd and I braked but not hard enough so rolled into him. Hence no driving if I am tired.
I would make him share it all equally, but he has the car and I work 2mins walk away from my house.

I have to come back and challenge all those car drivers who seem to think life would grind to a halt if they could'nt driver further than the end of their road.

Fgs, there are plenty of us who do not drive, who choose not to drive, who manage perfectly happily, even with, shock horror, to go quite long distances with children on public transport.

Sounds like many posters have forgotten that driving is an option, rather than a necessity in life.

I looked into going ont he train on loliday to dawlish for the three of us - two dc and me it was £300 on the train from the Midlands and took 10 hours. It takes me 3 hours to Exeter and another half ish to Dawlisha dn its 300 miles and I do 400 on a full tank for £75 - why would I spend all the extra money?

I can get the train to lagos Portugal for around £500 leave London and paris in 4 hours and then to the boarder on a overnight train then bareclona to Logos is another days travel

I can drive the 3000 miles for less than that and still have a cheap over night stop and drive 700 miles in one day safely - go down the west coast or middle and there are free roads too

Lets just remember that you can kill someone with bad driving so if someone isn't confident driving, either long distances or on a motorway, then I as a regular long distance driver would rather they weren't on the road - nothing to do with being pathetic it's just accepting your limitations.