to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

Well I had my confidence knocked by a car crash years ago (not my fault) and I didn't drive at high speeds (i.e on motorways) for years. This decision was compounded by a husband who was hypercritical of my driving so I just let it to him on long journeys.

When I split up from my ex, necessity made me drive on motorways and I just got over the nervousness.

Nowadays my dh can't drive so I drive everywhere. I still don't like driving at night on motorways though particularly when it is raining and so generally avoid long motorway journeys at night when I can. I do it is I have to though

I too had a panic attack on a motorway with baby twins in the car, and my parents had to drive 35 miles to come and get me, as I couldn't complete the journey. I agree it is pathetic, but that doesn't make it less real. I have been driving for 20 years, and never had a problem before having the children. I am getting counmselling for it because yes, I do think it is silly. But that knowledge does not make it less terrifying. I think perhaps some people here are being more than a touch unthinking.

SatanOnAScooter - you missed my point entirely. Being afraid of driving is not pathetic. Just choosing not to do it (which usually means someone else has to do it) is a tad pathetic. And the reference to abroad driving - I don't expect nor want praise for. My point was it's no big deal but some people turn it in to ahuge issue like you've climbed Everest. It's only driving! But I am well aware that to others it is stressful (or just too much bother).

YABVU its' none of your business. It is up to the individual. It may be a question of personal preference or just confidence and doesn't necessarily reflect ability at all.

I know people who are atrocious drivers and are willing to drive a thousand miles across europe! If you need further example of bad drivers who will drive long distance just take a trip down the M1 - even a lot of professional drivers lack safe driving ability.

If they don't want to drive long distances, so what?

saying if they won't drive long distances they shouldn't be driving is like saying if they won't climb everest they shouldn't climb mountains or if they can't swim the english channel, they shouldn't swim!

step MIL won't drive 30-40 miles to my parents house, or to the other side of town to MILs house (if we leave christmas presentsthere or she wants to drop them off) but willd rive form her house (small town in Scottish Borders) to Glsagow or Inverness or the highlands or anywhere else to see her sister/neice etc.

Squahimodo, I can sympathise, as my normally lovely DP can be the most annoying "back-seat driver". He has now learnt that when I drive, I am the one in charge of the car, after an incident many years ago when he tried to sound the horn at a driver in front and I slapped his hand away from the controls.

In fact my daily mileage is twice his, at least, just getting to and from work.

I'll drive anywhere, just don't ask me to parallel park at the other end!

to be fair LeQ, that woman is also terrified of bees IIRC?

I am afraid that confidence and ability are two very different things.

I know motorists with lots of confidence and no ability - the most dangerous.

I know motorists with no confidence and plenty of ability - somewhat less dangerous

I also know people who cannot articulate a sentence without swearing - should they be banned from talking?

"No one should be allowed control of a tonne of steel, capable of reaching speeds of 120 miles an hour, if they're not confident and capable."

Bollocks, as massive has just pointed out confidence and being capable are 2 different things.

I know I am repeating myself but being unafraid of driving does not automatically make one a good driver.

YABU

Nothing wrong with knowing your limits. I can happily tootle to tesco's without endangering your kids' lives, but I can't drive on 'big roads' or go over scary junctions.

If I forced myself to do so I may end up hurting myself and others.

So I stay safe - DP does all the serious driving.

I think in an emergency I would rise to the occasion, as I did on my driving test. I might piss a few people off for sticking to the speed limit or waiting too long at a junction, but nobody would die I suppose.

The thing is, I don't have to drive, and as I don't enjoy it I find it easy to avoid.

If I did need to drive regularly (say, when my LO arrives) I think I'd take refresher lessons. At least I have my pink ticket, I'll always be proud of that.

Oh no I don't expect a taxi service. Have bus pass and two legs, have served me well so far.

Also I love train travel :)

I'm sure the 120 mile drive with SPD was worth it for the quality time with your ma in law, arf! I feel your pain.

"my MIL who contentedly let me drive her 120 miles"

You could have said no, of course.

DH coudn't drive, or if like my MIL you were diverted onto a motorway?

If you knew anything about driving you would know that you would never be diverted onto a motorway. This is because there are vehicles that are prohibited from travelling on the motorway, therefore there is always an A road or B road route.

Too many drivers assume they are 'good drivers' and actually far from being good, are dangerous for all others on the road.

MmeLindt has a point about men tending to get into the driving seat, and I bet a lot of women get the 'back seat driver' (or 'passenger seat driver') problem, some tosser mocking every move they make, so perhaps don't 'share' the driving if they have an ass of a partner.

Motorway driving isn't part of the test, and is an area where some can be easily intimidated by salesmen going flat out and getting stroppy if you are doing 70 mph and won't let them past...

All in all, it's a knife edge of caution vs pushiness (to get onto a roundabout, for example) and I'm glad not to be a damn driver - there are so many who assume pedestrians can 'mind read' what the driver is planning to do...

Yeah. I refused to drive while PG once, because (was before the no alcohol at all point), I had had a small glass of wine and was very tired, so didn't feel competent enough to make the journey (was to my parents, then to my sisters and then back to my parents and home again, a good distance at night time!

I think I need practice, and maybe that is the case for lots of more nervous people.

And on the panic attack thing, I had one ON my driving test, or at least the start of one. We had pulled over, I asked the examiner if I could get some gum (it is one of my ways of averting the attack), and told him why, He was not bothered at all. And when I was unable to do the manoeuvre because of on coming vehicles, he let me do it on another car. And I passed. Was sooo scared of my test I wanted to be sick. I then drove to Oxford from south Dorset (including being directed round the one way system by someone who was learning English and did not drive). And then to Cornwall.

I will drive any distance or conditions, I am just out of practice, so the next time I do, I'd rather have company!

I don't see being aware of your limitations as a driver as weakness, rather, I think more people need to be aware of their failings!