to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

I went to a driving course recently after being caught speeding and statistically more people die on country roads, as it takes longer for them to be found after a crash, longer for emergency services to travel there etc etc

You have to have fast reflexes on motorways and be alert but country roads can be more deadly

DH and I have recently moved to the country and both had collisions, after 20 years of accident free city and motorway driving

Country roads tempt fast drving, then suddenly you turn a bend and come face to face with a horse/tractor/herd of cows blocking the narrow road and there is nowhere to go

Motorways should be fine if you adhere to the rules and if you feel nervous, you can just poetter along at 60 MPH

our car belongs to DH - he gets a car allowance from work to pay for it and the choice of car was down to his job's requirements. i would have chosen something teeny tiny and easy to manouver around town
so he drives it/us more.

i would think that many families are using the husband's company car at weekends and that probably accounts for a lot the difference in male vs female driver numbers.

YABU, because I am one of those people .

I can drive fine I know I can, I live way out in the sticks, so the school run, shop run, etc even in the thick bloody snow! I can drive fine but after a horrific pile up on the motorway, which was not our fault, some stupid lane dodger, I won't drive far, I can't it makes me feel ill. Only made worse by the near fucking miss we had this week coming back from Legoland courtesy of some fool who forgot he had mirrors.

I need my car for hospital/schools/drs/shops and I am fine with that it's essential but a nervous driver and 3 kids 2 of which are SN and need constant attention make going anywhere stressful tbh, so I keep journeys short by myself.

"i would think that many families are using the husband's company car at weekends and that probably accounts for a lot the difference in male vs female driver numbers."

Oh gawd - I dunno whether to start a thread in the feminism topic or whether I should just slit my wrists now

So, why should that make any difference to women being a bit feeble on the roads, eh? Why can't the woman drive her husband's car and he be a passenger? Eh? Or even, dare I say it, have her own company car?

Women drivers are safer and better. This is why they have lower insurance rates. Because they don't do all that testosterone fuelled competitive stuff. So there is NO need for women to be feeble. None.

The problem with motorways for me is slip roads - I'm very bad at judging the speed of cars coming up behind me and instinctively want to slow down and press the brake - not a good idea.

Plus I've only ever driven in London and so am used to slow city driving and rarely get out of third gear - I don't think I've ever been over 50 mph and so am not confident about very fast driving. I don't know the stats but I would guess that being in an accident at 70 mph is more likely to have fatal/serious consequences than being in a car accident at 30 mph.

Dh has driven for over 20 years and likes it. I've driven for about 2 years and hate it. Hence he does the motorway driving.

I don't like moths either which I admit is probably a bit pathetic. Not liking/being a nervous driver makes perfect sense to me.

I don't think anyone would think someone else was pathetic for not driving if they are genuinely scared after an accident, for example. However, there are a lot of women (I know of at least 4) who won't drive far for no real reason.
Earlier this year me, DH and DS went on holiday with inlaws. We took a different flight so hired our own car. DH drank on the plane so I drove to the villa. My MIL looked horrified when I steped out of the drivers side and made numerous comments about how 'brave' I was for driving on the wrong side of the road. It took all of my will power not to scream "for god's sake woman, get a grip!!!".

So, no, YANBU unless someone is actually scared for a good reason. Just general wet-pantedness is unforgivable!

The figures for people being killed on roads, do they include children, cyclists or pedestrians or just car drivers? The latter are very vulnerable on most roads but wouldn't usually be on Motorways.

Then again isn't it true that most children are killed at slow speeds on "safe" roads such as home or school areas where many but also unnecessarily huge vehicles back up (and I have seen this a lot) because they can't see a child in their mirrors and because it overlaps the pavement due to size by more than any person standing on it would think.

used to work with a woman (she'd be about 45 now) who lived on the outskirts of manchester and had never driven into the city, nor would she ever attempt to. it was infuriating as whenever we went away for meetings, she'd refuse to drive. i remember squashing myself, at 8 months pregnant with dd into the drivers seat of the boss's car as i couldn't get anyone else to agree to do the driving. pathetic!

Then again, I do have to say that I have the utmost respect for those on this thread who have had bad experiences and who still carry on no matter how their driving is limited, if at all.

Good on you. I admire you very much

i wish everybody would just FUCK OFF with their judgemental shit about driving.... it seems like it's the only thing that nobody is allowed to express any weakness with. and it's exactly that impatient egotistical judgy attitude that gives me a complex about driving.

i'm fucking brilliant with money, with maths, with science, at lots of sports... all things it's socially acceptable to admit being poor at.

but i'm not fantastic at driving. so sue me as it's not socially acceptable to be anything but over-confident and bolshy on the roads.

"However, there are a lot of women (I know of at least 4) who won't drive far for no real reason."

So what??? Why do any of you care what the reason is behind a persons dislike of driving? And why are some reasons more acceptable than others?

What if I don't like it because of an accident? Is it ok for me to dislike driving because of that? If I witnessed it? Or would I have had to have been involved in it? If so, is it more understandable if I was hurt? Or does it depend on how severely I was hurt??

Crappy, crappy arguments people.

For those of you fantastic brave enough to like driving (abroad even, get you!), Well Done. Why don't you just pat yourslef on the back everytime someone gasps in amazement at you and leave it at that?

What a bizarre thread - I don't drive long distances because (a) its generally perfectly feasible, and far more environmentally friendly, to use public transport, and (b) I have a problem hip that is made worse by using the clutch.

I use the car for journeys that really can't be reasonably achieved in other ways - transporting heavy things that won't fit in my bike trailer, going to nearby places that are too far for dd to cycle, etc.

Personally, I'm not sure why that makes me pathetic. Put bluntly, I think those of you who are too crap to get out of your cars and into public transport or on a bike are much more pathetic. (Not counting of course anyone with a health problem that makes that impossible for them.)

Fluffles - I'm sorry but YAB pathetic and no amount of telling me/the op to fuck off is going to cut the mustard

You are good at sports, therefore have the spatial skills to be a good driver. You are a woman therefore you are likely to be a safer driver than any mere man - your insurance premiums are proof of this. You are good at maths therefore clearly can work out what is going on on the roads

Therefore, just go and drive

I'll give you a lift anywhere you like fluffles, so long as you don't mind going at 20mph, with no radio, and no talking? It'll be fun, we'll stick 2 fingers up at everyone overtaking .

I've driven all over western europe alone with a pair of four-year-olds fighting in the back. I regularly do long trips with the children in the UK, now that we're not meant to be trashing the planet with aircraft emissions (and the passports have run out and are EXTORTIONATE to replace). I can zip along motorways, dual carriage ways and negotiate country roads with added horses, tractors and sheep popping unexpectedly, and all this without satnav. I found Hardknott pass exhilarating, not terrifying, even in heavy rain. But when I went up that London to visit an old college friend, taking the car because it worked out cheaper than a set of train fares, I was in a state of wittering terror. It's all what you're used to, I suppose.

"The figures for people being killed on roads, do they include children, cyclists or pedestrians or just car drivers? The latter are very vulnerable on most roads but wouldn't usually be on Motorways."

I split out the figures. 2538 is the total. 1257 of those were sat in a car at the time they sustained fatal injuries. 493 were sat on motorcycles. 572 were pedestrians. 115 were pedal cyclists. There were a further 72 deaths in commercial vehicles and coaches.
.

So of the occupants of cars and motorbikes, 1750 of whom died, at most 158 of them died on motorways. Children, cyclists and pedestrians have already been excluded from the 1750.

I can't drive very long journeys, because I always have to keep an eye on the kids in the car. H just sits there in the passenger seat and acts like he hasn't noticed..The longer I drive with them there, the more the stress, the more worked up they get and I don't feel that it is safe..
Without them there, I can drive for hours, love long journeys. Soon as school hols start up, making a trip to Ikea and Bluewater....ahhh just for the drive. Baby in sling, no h, wandering around Ikea, bliss..........

soon as school hols finish that is...

"For those of you fantastic brave enough to like driving (abroad even, get you!), Well Done. Why don't you just pat yourslef on the back everytime someone gasps in amazement at you and leave it at that?"

Funny, but feeble, double feeble

Its not just women. I used to have lots of conversations with my xbil which started with him saying you drove where? me saying but its only 20/30miles and him saying wouldn't catch me driving THAT far.

i hate driving, its boring! much prefer the train or bus anyday (and more environmentally friendly). I do have a car and dont use it much, mostly for my work.

I too had a serious car accident 20 years ago which left me nervous about driving for some time after but eventually, my confidence came back.

Quatrto shouldn't you be checking your oil or your tyre pressure or something?

tokyonambu thanks.

Yeah, I roll my eyes when people say they are too nervous to drive on busy routes, but reading this thread has made me realise there are (and I have) equivalent weaknesses ... for which I very much want some sympathy and kind treatment.