to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

apparently men inthis country drive an extra 20 miles per year as they get los tand reuse to aks a police person

YABU as there are people who are genuinly scared of driving and do not realise it until they've passed their test and driven alone.

My friend hates being a passenger and will always drive when we go out togeher for the day however far it is.

I'm a single parent so if I want to go anywhere with ds the driving is down to me - This past week I've done 240mile round trip to Weston-super-mare and the 160mile round trip to Brisport, Dorset.

I was fine but repect others no not have the confidence.

Mists - my 88 year old grandad has been diagnosed with dementia. He hasn't driven for about two years, as he realises he's not safe. A couple of weeks ago, he decided that he would move the car a few feet along the road to put it back into the disabled space once the person who was parked in it had moved (grandma is a disabled driver).

He managed to write off the car, although luckily he wasn't seriously injured and nobody else was involved (he hit a parked car).

The police have now taken away his licence.

I think "old people who drive when they really shouldn't any more" is another thread.

YABU. Isn't there anything you find hard? Would you like to be called pathetic because of it?

Yes I suppose it is and sorry to hear about your Grandad.

My Mum isn't seventy yet and never did any of the things in the OP even when she was fit and young and I wonder whether she should have officially stopped driving earlier and how bad the situation will have to be before she isn't allowed behind a wheel.

DH is actually a recently qualified instructor (yes I am that stubborn) and he says that lots of people like my Mum wouldn't qualify now which makes me feel a bit safer.

Then again he knows a lot of local people who drive without having passed tests and have no insurance so I'm still bloody terrified.

I think I have disqualified myself from AIBU forever for indecisiveness

I think too many people think they're more capable than they actually are.

LittleRedDragon - in response to whether Pass Plus lowers insurance, apparently it does here.

I don't drive at night if I can help it - I can but I prefer not to as my eyes don't adjust well when going from very bright to dark, and vice versa - again, maybe this is disorientating for people, and might be better than losing control. I will drive anywhere, doesn't bother me at all, but I don't feel the need to ridicule someone else because they aren't comfortable or are genuinely scared.

"I'm also frustrated by women (like my mum) who won't drive abroad"

I refuse to drive abroad because I am canadian, and it took me years to feel that I could safely stay on the right (left! ) side of the road. When I started driving I had lots of "canadian moments" when I would turn and end up on the wrong side. I had a saintly driving instructor!!

So, no, I won't drive overseas in case i get de-programmed again.

I think this thread is really really mean spirited. Everyone struggles with something.
Compassion people - compassion.

"I think too many people think they're more capable than they actually are."

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning?Kruger_effect]]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning?Kruger_effect

This is it I think

The other link was very interesting:

"The former is the probable origin of the name Dunning, ex Old Irish dúnán 'little fort'. Saint Serf (fl. 6th century) is said to have killed a dragon here, and there is a thorn tree planted in Jacobite times as well as a monument to Maggie Wall, burnt as a witch in 1657"

YABU
I have no qualms about driving long distances. I often drive from London to Southampton and back again in a day. I recently drove back from our holiday in Wales and drove the whole length of the M4 and half way across the M25.
However, I hate driving in London and through country lanes and will avoid doing it.

Its a confidence thing.

"The Dunning?Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which an unskilled person makes poor decisions and reaches erroneous conclusions, but their incompetence denies them the meta-cognitive ability to realize their mistakes"

Quite. My Dad drives like this with no regard for vulnerable road-users including pedestrians dare to slow him down by crossing the road. Many other people (as was evidenced by the bike thread) wield a tonne of metal travelling at speed as a weapon to frighten the very people who are helping to keep the roads clear.

I wish I'd had the forethought of these women who refuse to drive on motorways, then I wouldn't have just been lumbered with dropping my sister to the airport tomorrow :(

I don't drive on motorways and I consider myself a totally capable driver. I passed my test first time with no faults. the reasons i don't drive on motorways is because IT IS DANGEROUS. If you're travelling at 70/80/90 miles an hour, and someone else does something stupid, you are up shit creek. You are not in control of your vehicle at that speed, I don't care how much you think you are. This is why more people are killed on motorways than on any other kind of road. Duh. All these macho A-personalities who insist on slagging us off are just unimaginative idiots.

It's a scarily quick skill to lose, driving. I'd been driving for over 20 years, loved driving, went all sorts of far away places, motorways all fine, drove a huge Land Rover, etc etc. I especially loved long road trips, alone or with DH - making the choice of music, big travel mugs of coffee, long rambling conversations...

And then we moved to Switzerland, the land of the perfectly timetabled public transport and the obligation to have to send your children to the school in your village. So there was no point having a second car. Now I drive perhaps 1-2 times a month, if that - usually long distances. Which means that motorways on the 'wrong' side of the road are completely fine, but nipping 10 mins up the road into a nearby small city and trying to crowbar our Transit-sized van into what the Swiss laughingly call a parking space really bothers me (I can still do it, but I don't enjoy it).

On the other hand, I am now BRILLIANT on a bike. I have an electric bike with a trailer that I use for most of my daily child/shopping transportation needs, and have no qualms at all about being assertive, taking the lane and pulling across four lanes of traffic at busy A road junctions. And a plus from this is that my 10 yr old is brilliant on a bike too. But has now developed a tendency to travel sickness on the odd occasion he does go in a car...

I don't like to drive too much as my judgement is poor when sleep-deprived, and I have spent most of the last 4 years sleep-deprived. I live in London and only drive if I've had a reasonable night's sleep. I am not very confident on motorways, but I have friends outside London who do lots of driving but refuse to come into London, so it is partly a question of what you're used to.

Also I passed my test then for various reasons (moved away from the car I was learning on, no money etc) didn't drive for about 4 years, so was an out-of-practice new driver when I started, this too has had an impact on how I see myself as a driver.

If I had to drive for my job, as DH used to do, I'm sure I'd be more confident, but the basic fact is that if I get behind the wheel tired I am unsafe (in my opinion). Not driving much has effected my overall confidence and DH now does the driving on long trips - something we used to share. He loves driving, whereas it has always made me tense.

If I needed to drive every day (maybe if I didn't live in a big city with most things in walking distance or with great public transport) I like to think that my attitude to driving would change quite quickly. But for the moment I'm happier walking and getting the bus, using the car occasionally and having DH drive us for long drives.

I wonder how many confident drivers have something else they feel nervous about. Baking? Swimming? Speaking a foreign language? We all have something.

One thing which is totally inexplicable though, is fear of driving on motorways

I mean, WTF? They are absolutely the easiest roads to drive on in the world. I meantersay, there are NO roundabouts, there is NO-ONE turning right, it's easy beyond belief ...

My scariest ever drive was on the way to Mons, which is the highest hill village in Fayence. The sun was setting and in my eyes. There was a succession of hairpin bends on a road the width of a narrow country lane, with a sheer drop thousands of feet, a lot of the time without any barrier at the side of the road, with three locals tailgating me.

I knew DH would give me a lifetime of stick if I admitted to sheer terror, but it's just best to close your eyes and go for it. Once you get into the habit, it's okay.

"lts. the reasons i don't drive on motorways is because IT IS DANGEROUS"

Which is why, of course, the death rates by any measure (per hour, per mile, per journey) are, oh, substantially lower than any other form of road. Especially fast A roads.

What an odd, mean spirited thread. No fears/dislikes yourself then OP?

I know the word scared was used in OP but I took this thread to be more about women who just won't for no real reason other than feeble mindedness. If you are scared or a bad driver why not just take motorway lessons or not drive!?!

" This is why more people are killed on motorways than on any other kind of road."

2538 people died on the roads in 2008. 158 people died on motorways.

OK, you need to get inside the numbers and factor out pedestrians and such like. But in 2008 1257 car users and 493 motorcycle users died. Even assuming every single death on the motorways is either a car or motorcycle user, which isn't the case, 158 represent about 9%.

So the reason more people are killed on motorways than on any other kind of road is that, er, they aren't.

Figures from the DfT.

What's "feeble mindedness"?

I'll drive on motorways in Europe, and in the US, but not in UK. Motorway driving in UK scares me shitless. You all sit in the middle lane - is everyone frightened of the inside lane, which is always empty - which clogs up the traffic and slows it down. It's a nightmare getting onto a busy motorway - no-one slows down a bit to let you on (suddenly all of those people who were in the middle lane seems to shift to the inside lane when I want to get on!). I agree it's easy enough when you get onto the thing, but getting on...noooo!

I am probably also put off by the fact that I grew up near the M4 and saw so many crashes there as a child. I don't particularly enjoy driving, and DH does, so I let him get on with it most of the time. I might also add that he doesn't particularly like cooking, and I do, so we probably compliment each other quite well there.

Curlymama: "These silly women are the ones tat make the rest of us look incapable. They shouldn't have driving licences if they can't drive."

Are you for real?? How does the fact that I don't particularly like driving make you look anything(well other than not very nice/understanding)? It doesn't impact you in anyway.