to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

If someone prefers not to drive long distances then why does it bother you? I'd rather the roads were filled with happy, confident drivers than scared nervous types. Driving and the independence it brings should be a pleasure, not a fucking nightmare.

And never, ever rely on a satnav as I found out to my cost 2 weeks ago, when it directed me off the motorway and into one of the less salubrious areas of Glasgow. Scaryyyyyyyy....

I never worried about driving I had a car and motorbike for years, had a really nasty accident when just me and kids in car, in insured driver pushed us off road throu and glass bus shelter and into a wall and hedge.
I had whiplash and was nervous, but I got driving again very quickly as I still had to do school run and take DH for daily radio/chemotherapy , I guess if I hadn't have done that then I may never have driven again.
I wouldn't judge someone for not driving.

I also want to add that I'm now living in central Milan, where public transport is actually quite good (and would be much better if less people drove their private cars creating massive traffic jams) and before then I lived in central Exeter, where you can walk pretty much everywhere.

I'd love to start driving again just to be free to go to ikea whenever I like

I think it would be quite difficult to schedule test if 'driving in the rain' was an essential component.

Lessons including driving at night would be useful, yes. When I started driving agian (after not driving at university) I had a couple of refresher lessons, during which I insisted on going on the motorway, which was only possible because I had already passed my test.

Tigerfeet, my answer to your question would be yes.

Incidentally my driving instructor was useless.

sod off OP! (I wrote ruder, but decided not to)

I only passed recently and there is NO WAY I am ready for a long motorway drive, and will not do until I feel safe and ready

I think the issue is whether you like driving. DP does, I dont

What is it to you, OP and the rest of fellow women-bashers? Does the fact that some people choose not to drive long distances somehow affects the way you drive or live your life?

I can't believe the level of judgeyness. I didn't realise that driving on motorways was part of the essential qualifications for being a well-rounded individual. And I certainly don't see how it lets the side down

I have only very recently overcome my phobia of driving, the reasons behind which are frankly irrelevant. I still don't like driving and wish I didn't have to quite so much, but I do because I have to. I am actually quite proud of myself for having gotten this far, and if I don't go onto the motorway yet it's no one's business but my own.

My Dh is a much more experienced and laid back driver so it makes sense he does the long journeys, but he doesn't love it ether so we take the train/plane whenever we can.

I don't like driving long distances whether I drive or am a passenger because I get very car sick. I won't drive my family long distances - way too dangerous!

And I am crap at parallel parking too. As MmeLindt can attest, having been stuck behind me in the narrow roads of a Swiss village while I tried, and failed.

She still (sort of) talks to me

Frankly fear of driving is surely rational. A spider isnt likely to finish you off (unless perhaps you live in Australia) but I know of at least 6 acquaintances all under 30 who have been killed on the roads.

Anecdotally I know several men who are fearful drivers. Surely its actually safer to be more aware of the gravity of what can happen if you cock up whilst driving. Young men have the highest insurance premiums, the group most likely to take risks and not fully understand the consequences of what they are doing and hence have the most lethal accidents.

Having to drive in the rain in order to pass your test would be tricky, yes, but I'm sure I've heard that it happens in Germany or somewhere (clearly this could be bollocks )

I do think that if a large number of people don't feel ready to drive on their own in any normal driving situation even having passed their test, then the test is too easily passed and we need more practice and more challenges beforehand in order to raise confidence.

I also think it's barking that you can pass your test, not drive for 20 years then get behind the wheel of any car you wish. No idea how to police that, but it's madness that it can happen.

Actually I think the OP is being very fucking unreasonable, I hate driving in the dark or in the rain but I make myself do it as I have to, all these women who you are branding pathetic are actually doing you a favour by staying away from situations they feel uncomfortable in. Being a confident driver or unafraid to drive at night or in the rain or on motorways doesn't necesserily make you either a good driver or a safe driver so frankly I think the posters who say OP is not being unreasonable can wind their necks in.

Masseuse! I used to be OK at parallel parking, but used to be intimidated by angle parking!

I get nervous driving long distances and abroad but I like to think it's because I'm a relatively new/inexperienced driver (passed my test less than 3 years ago) rather than because I'm a woman.

Getorfmoiland
I agree with EVERYTHING you said, practice, practice, practice.

Pssst, it works for parallel parking too.

Of course I am still speaking to you. Just not driving behind you again. Fancy a meet up sometime? We can meet somewhere with a proper car park. :)

Tigerfeet
That is truly bollocks, sorry. LOL. I learn in Germany and had to do 2 night time drives, a couple of motorway drives and a set amount of daytime drives. No rain requirement, might be difficult in summer in Germany.

Practising is fucking expensive if you have no particular reason to be driving somewhere other than to practise your driving skills.

Although me driving rather than DP is a money-saver, I get much better fuel economy. Takes longer and is less pleasant though. (I quite like long car hourneys if I am being driven by someone whose driving is good and whose company I enjoy).

agree Kerala1-it's pretty damed rational to be scared of driving a great hunk of metal around at high speeds

tbh i hate the whole idea of driving, always have, and learned late on and pretty reluctantly. i do the driving that i need to and avoid what I don't need to! dh does most of the motorway driving partly because he drives loads faster than me and we get to where we're going quicker, partly because I can't bear to have him wincing alongside me when I do it,and partly because he knows i hate it and is too much of a softie

incidentally, i know a few men that don't drive at all, including dh's brother

oh, and passing your test in no way trains you to drive on the motorway, it's a completely different ball-game. learners aren't even allowed on the motorway ffs so how are you supposed to practice?

Trillian
You don't have to go out practicing (and wasting fuel). But if you are a nervous driver and you force yourself to do even just 30 mins of a longer drive then it will get easier.

Same with parking. I am not great at it, but I give it a go. If I can manage to get into the space, fine. If not, then it is not the end of the world. If I say, "I cannot do that" and drive on then I will never learn.

You need to get someone to explain how to parallel park too.

I can parallel park perfectly - all beautifully spaced and brilliantly angled. I am just 4 feet away from the darn kerb

I am fine driving in the rain and dark, however I loathe driving at dusk, the light is terrible for judging distance etc.

Also think that a load of people came a cropper in the snow last year - I had a terrifying moment coming off the M5 in Bristol in a rear wheel drive car, which caught on a snow drift in teh central reservation and put me in a spin.

PLUS (and I am gping to start a thread about it actually and bore you all to death) you can be a wonderful driver but there are some TERRIBLE roads which are appallingly designed, which I am sure are more responsible for accidents than dodgy/nervous drivers.

MmeLindt, I am in need of stiff drink, so will take the tram :)

Otherwise, the Manor parking lot has been designed with people like me in mind :)

Franca!!! how are you dear? I am ashamed to show my face in LI :(

OK end of hijack. I need to get ready (logistically and psychologically) for a longish drive. Do I want to do it? NO. Will I do it? YES, because it's the only way I get to see a friend I couldn't possibly miss. But I am going to take the scenic route to avoid the motorway. Have you all got a problem with it?

Here's what I think:

Getting your driving license should involve passing two separate tests: first test on the roads, second on motorways and at night.

You have to pass both to get your license.

The amount of time between the two tests can be what you like, as long as it's not longer than 6 months, so the driver basically has up to 6 months to practice motorways and night-driving before taking the second test.

Then you get your full license, which should include a compulsory refresher lesson every 5 years.

If there had been a motorway requirement for the test it would have been a little awkward for me - as I mentioned before I learnt on the IOW where there are no motorways. We'd have had to get the car ferry over to Portsmouth which would have extended the time of the test a bit. Although driving onto the mezzanine should probably be included too - that is scary.

Tigerfeet - I had a 10 year gap between passing my test and driving again. I actually did take a couple of lessons to try to remember how to do it.

Getorff
My DH recently checked to see how far from the kerb I had parked then remarked dryly, "It is ok, we can take a taxi from here"

If you can drive on the road and have a licence then you should be able to do excatly what is state on the tin and drive - regardless of where or for how long and how many miles

I have doen 2500 miles aorund northern sapin and france on my own with two small dd's and Italy and france camping otherwise we wouldn't have had holdiays abroad.

i really don't see what the deal is whether it is a 4 ton vehicle or a mini you drive and the pedals and sterring wheel is the same.

Sorry but if you are that nervous - should you actually be on the road?