Actually i know i am but i fed up

[megawoman]

Have been friends with somebody since we were at pre-school together. She got married 6 years ago and I am now good friends with both her and her husband.

They have both been moaning at me lately about the fact their relationship has turned sour. He today phoned me twice asking if I had heard from her because he was at their house and she was not there again yet promised she would be in for his lunchbreak. I told him she was not with me but may be with her sister. Two hours later he phoned again as she was still not home and he rung again to see if I had heard from her yet. I said I had not but if I did I would tell her he was looking for her. He then asked me if I thought she was cheating on her which I know she is not she is organising big party for his 30th so was out getting decorations etc. I normally am very good and just say she must have been held up somewhere but today I snapped and told him she was and we had been having a lesbian love affair for 6 months. I know it was wrong and might cause major problems for them but I was so fed up of them putting me in the middle and now I don't want to contact either of them because I know I was out of order. (ducks ready for flogging)

sm

a contender for the literary bad sex awards.hands found wetness indeedy

DH also says that Brian will offer to build an extension, tell MW to ditch her boyfriend, and move in for good. Saturdays she and friend can do what they like while he watches football as long as Sundays are always threesomes.

He suspects however that this arrangement will be realtively short lived as they probably ulitmately want him out of the way. this will also be fine as long as the divorce settlement includes weekly threesomes.

I don't have a boyfriend I used bf for best friend

DH says all the better - keeps it simple

Suspect DH is expressing his own fantasties

and there i was scoffing shes not that into you mw.shows you how little i know of torrid trysts,wetness and brian.

hushety hush my chunttering

You neglected to use the following words;

Gasped
Silky
Nibbled
Slippery
Warm
and
Flicked.

Must. Do. Better!

Dear god, I have been stuck in the house all day with my dc's and I've been a good mum entertaining etc when surely I should have been on Mumsnet I missed the best thread in ages

FWIW Its pigging pissing it down here MW, getting worse by the minute, am now thinking if the same can be said for tomorrow I may have to invite the sodden wet very young fit postman in to dry off.

Sparkle rainbow

So MW what about the dc's father? I take it you split as your gay? How you going to manage to ask him to have the dc's Friday so you, bf and her dh can have a threesome - would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Don't be so hard on yourself sm, we were all taken by surprise with this one!

I liked the version you lot made up this afternoon better...

their father has them from 3pm on friday right through til 6pm on sunday. I am going to Louise and Brians early evening on friday. It is Brians birthday on saturday so not sure what weekend has in store but I can't wait to go

This is DH typing - got the keyboard finally. This is just so much better than anything I could have imagined about mn. i will however not add my own suggestions as to how the story might continue - I am desperately hoping that Sparkle will reveal her own thoughts.

sparkles dh as a man what would you want if you were brian do you think he will let me loose on his wife or will i just be ignored?

i see luring us in with 1st name familiarity.brian and louise.nice.right ho stick to the nitty gritty - keeps us all enthralled.i suggest get brian bladdered at his birthday and then you and his missus consummate the love that speak speak its name

He can't comment because have sent him to feed the dogs.

megawoman as a man what do you think brian should do...

as a man I would probably want a piece of the action but as myself I hope he will leave us to it for a while

SM - not convinced then

sparkles DH - Stop feeding the dogs and come back.

helium LOL at soddon postman

lolol sm!

this thread is funny,ticks all the boxes.even wet ones.even if mw is a man

ROFL at ScottishMummy

Sparkle told me earlier that I was not allowed into the hallowed MN teritory, but that she might relay my thoughts. MW I take it that you have invited me in, so here goes.

If I were Brian and sparkle was Louise - ooooh - if only, anway, if I were Brian I would be more than happy to let you both get out of it what you wanted and explore the things that you might want to do, on two conditions. I could watch and that I was not excluded from some of the action.

Got to stop` - sparkle has just instructed me to eat my dinner!

lol!!!!!!!!

Is feeling a little bit of love for Scottishmummy and her amazing comments....ahem...must be the thread getting to me. DH! Come here and straighten me up again!