that only a mother of solely young female children would have reacted like this?

[OrmRenewed]

On holiday DD went for a hack at a stables. DH had taken the boys to the beach while she had her ride and they came back about 15 mins before she finished. I had a chat with one of the women who ran the place while I was waiting - she had a 6yr old DD. Just before DD was due to get back to the stables she went out into the yard. She came back a few seconds later, aghast, to say in a voice of horror 'there are two boys outside playing with plastic swords....!' DH said ' er yes, those'll be mine' and went out to remove them. She looked a bit uncertain and said 'Well, it's just the horses... you know...?'

AIBU to think that only a mother of girls only would have reacted like that? Anyone else would have felt the need to have finished the sentence with some further explanation, such as '..and they have poked each other's eyes out' or 'they have severed limbs' or even 'they have started a riot amongst the ponies'?

i understand that the children weren't near the horses. they were, however, in a business that has horses. most business people won't want kids playing with swords, plastic or otherwise, on their premises. i personally would imagine that would extend to female children as well, when they are prepared to put down their embroidery and join in.

I told you nothing of the sort, Orm, and you know it. But keep going there and getting riled up and whatever you need to do.

I wrote that it coming across like that.

Coming across.

That maybe that isn't the case but it is coming across like that.

I left the other thread because instead of being about the heart of the matter: health clubs need unisex changing areas for those who need or desire them, it's all about how women and girls who are sensitive about their bodies are messed up in the head and just need to get over themselves because the rights of males are always more important.

Oh dear - just read the whole thread.

I have 2 ds's and a dd and I feel that at thsi moment in history in our society that boys aren't valued very much.

You very rarely see threads on here where people are disappointed they're having a girl when pregnant but often see it the other way round. And I realise a lot of that is because people want that mother/daughter relationship but still it is sad.

So I do understand that sometimes its easy to be a bit defensive and perhaps to imagine slights where they weren't intended.

Yet when I was pregnant with DS, our third child after two girls, it was constant, 'Do you hope it's a boy?' 'Were you trying for a boy?' 'Do you know what it is yet?' 'Is it a boy?' And then, 'So are you going to have anymore now you've had a boy?' 'Bet you're glad it's a boy this time round' and similar.

Expat - I hid the other thread that you are talking about because it seemed the complete opposite to me. Apparently I was being totally paranoid and over-protective of my 9 year old son (who was totally unconcerned by nudity), who obviously wouldn't come to any harm by going into a male changing room on his own.

I'm completely with Orm on this thread, and puzzled why anyone would think that 2 little children playing with plastic swords outside whilst waiting for a hack to return is in breach of H and S, or dangerous in some way. If that's your idea of danger then you really have led a sheltered life.

Totally agree with Aitch here.

What a horrible, prejudiced OP.

"AIBU to think that only a mother of girls only would have reacted like that? Anyone else would have felt the need to have finished the sentence with some further explanation, such as '..and they have poked each other's eyes out' or 'they have severed limbs' or even 'they have started a riot amongst the ponies'?"

It's this. That only a mother of girls has the capability to be precious and silly and pathetic (and you're projecting any way, you have no idea what she objected to at all). Everybody else is concerned with only serious things while mothers of girls belong in a little pathetic box tied with pink ribbon.

As others have pointed out time and time again, it goes both ways. Several people have pointed out that they have only girls and get comments about how they're bitchy and manipulative, they don't love their Mums as much. People have explained that they have had the 'what a shame, are you hoping for a boy' comments, especially to their DHS because they must be missing out.

And in terms of gender disappointment, I see as many boys threads as girls. And what always happens? People reassure the disappointed person by being derogatory about the other gender. Don't worry, boys are much better, they're cuddlier. Don't worry, girls are much better, they're nice and quiet. We spend so much time perpetuating this bollocks that people in a stable they've never visited before with a woman they don't know, use her as a poster woman for Smug Mothers Of Girls.

Well can you tell me what she was worried about then? Because I am stumped.

It seemed as if the simple fact that there were boys there with plastic swords was alarming enough not to need further explanation. And yes of course it might not be because she only had a little girl, it might be because she had a phobia of plastic swords.

'DD can be as rough and noisy as the boys. And my boys can be quiet and contemplative too. But their default setting is loud and active. Hers isn't'

ROFL if you think this is correct for all boys and girls!!!

There is not such thing as a completly bomb proof horse. Stables are also dangerous places for many other reasons. It's not a boy/girl thing.

yup, agree with liberty's post there.

These sort of threads annoy whether girls' mums or boys' mums are being sneered at.

Horsey people can be a bit odd. I have learned this from dealing regularly with horsey people over the last six years. The horsey woman in the op was possibly just being a bit odd. It is stereotyping to put it down to 'oh she must be a girls' mum'.

And maisie's comment about people living sheltered lives if they think there are H&S implications in an empty stable yard, I think you have led a life that has never taken you to a ridings stables for very long.

I can't stand this "oooh I've got boys and therefore can let them do whatever they like because they are ...oooh...boys."

Like the mother who let her three year old kick my DD2 repeatedly in the back while explaining he was 'experiencing a testosterone surge,' FFS

And I am a mother of three girls who doesn't give a monkeys whether they play with either sex, I find some of the amateur psychology parents come out with, infuriating.

"They are boys, they need to run around." Well do you know what? So do my girls!

Did you know there are more psychological differences between people of the same gender than differences between each gender?
Meaning, we are all individuals regardless of sex?

And the woman probably didn't want them to spook any horses around and cause an accident. Maybe she was worried one of the boys would be kicked or trodden on if a group of riders cam into the yard.

hehehe

it is just as well you didn't have a girl, i shudder to think of how damaged she might grow to be with such a misogynist parent - and if you are a mother, a self-loathing one to boot

there is enough women hating out there in the world without girl children having to experience it from their parents

oh soz was that a joke

contempt for women - hilaaaaaarious

gwan tell us another

You needed to check your children's behavior. Stop trying to jazz it up onto a gender and parenting stereotypes debate. You simply needed to tell them not to aggravate the horses and stop prancing around.

Maisie.
You say: "Apparently I was being totally paranoid and over-protective of my 9 year old son (who was totally unconcerned by nudity), who obviously wouldn't come to any harm by going into a male changing room on his own."

Yet you are "puzzled why anyone would think that 2 little children playing with plastic swords outside whilst waiting for a hack to return is in breach of H and S, or dangerous in some way." Infact you say "If that's your idea of danger then you really have led a sheltered life."
So let me get this straight: It would be dangerous for your son to go into a male changing room at family swim time, but not to wave swords about in a stable yard?
Sounds like you are not really concerned about safety at all - just about your son doing what he wants.

I have a girl. An only one. She has guns and swords etc. So YABU.

YABU. There's no such thing as a bomb proof horse; even the ancient schoolmaster can unexpectedly develop fear of something as nonsensical as a watering hose or plastic bag. Inexperienced riders getting thrown can have very serious consequences
Children should not be allowed to play noisily about the yard regardless what sex they are. Mum of boys here, btw.

Card (and others) - did you read the OP? Did you notice that there were no horses around because they were out on a hack???? It wasn't even as if they were jumping off hay bales, or leaping onto the mounting block!

I stick by my guns - if children playing in an empty stable yard constitutes danger in your eyes then you've led a sheltered life.

I've led a life where I've been in stable yards. Yes, I did read the OP - it said they were expecting the ride back SOON. That's why they were there. The boys were clearly unsupervised, as the stable lady had to ask who they were with. The ride could have come back at any time. THat would be dangerous.

Actually, I think it is probably unreasonable to leave your children, whether boys or girls, playing in a public area where you can not see them: not because of danger, particularly, but because it's a bit selfish.