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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that only a mother of solely young female children would have reacted like this?

199 replies

OrmRenewed · 21/08/2010 22:12

On holiday DD went for a hack at a stables. DH had taken the boys to the beach while she had her ride and they came back about 15 mins before she finished. I had a chat with one of the women who ran the place while I was waiting - she had a 6yr old DD. Just before DD was due to get back to the stables she went out into the yard. She came back a few seconds later, aghast, to say in a voice of horror 'there are two boys outside playing with plastic swords....!' DH said ' er yes, those'll be mine' and went out to remove them. She looked a bit uncertain and said 'Well, it's just the horses... you know...?'

AIBU to think that only a mother of girls only would have reacted like that? Anyone else would have felt the need to have finished the sentence with some further explanation, such as '..and they have poked each other's eyes out' or 'they have severed limbs' or even 'they have started a riot amongst the ponies'?

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Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 14:50

I'm hardly bashing mothers of girls. I am one.

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Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 14:51

DS2 also rides and has a great respect for horses having been scared by one that reared and threw his rider a few feet away from him.

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Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 14:56

Perhaps I should have said that only overly- precious mothers of solely girl children would have reacted like that. Is that better? Hmm

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Aitch · 22/08/2010 14:59

no you aren't. you are a mother of a girl and boys, who is boasting of having coined new and kinda snidey words to describe mothers who only have girls and so don't know what it's like to have a boy or boys.

i don't know what it's like to have only boys, or some of each. god, or the higher power or just simple genetics happened to give me two girls (what gender were the children i lost to ectopic pregnancy? who knows). it's a fucking BORE to be slagged off for something that there's nothing to be done over.

even if you are correct that the woman acted like there was a smelly shite under her nose when saying the word 'boy' and yes, maybe 'only a mother of solely female young children would have reacted like this' (although maybe someone with no children, or older children, maybe a schoolmarm, nun or IT consultant would have as well) still, what is the point you are trying to make?

is it yet again that boys are better, because they love cuddles more than girls, because they love their mums more than girls, or because they aren't bitchy like girls (all things i've had said to me)? if so, great, bully for you.

otoh maybe she just thought they were being a pita and you should have controlled them better?

Aitch · 22/08/2010 15:03

actually apols, you coined demobs, and yes you do sound very defensive. who came up with smog, that's such a nice term, with all the smugness implied.

expatinscotland · 22/08/2010 15:04

What Aitch said, especially after your comments on the changing room thread.

I have both - two girls and one boy.

It doesn't make me any more enlightened than someone who has all of one gender.

TBH, after reading all this it is beginning to sound like you prefer your sons to your daughter.

Maybe that's not true, I hope not, but it's certainly coming across like that.

Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:05

"is it yet again that boys are better, because they love cuddles more than girls, because they love their mums more than girls, or because they aren't bitchy like girls (all things i've had said to me)? if so, great, bully for you. "

Eh?

What are you talking about? I think you are reading a different post to mine Hmm

And no I didn't boast about coining the phrase SMOG - why would I make up a phrase about someone other than me? I coined the phrase DeMOB because I feel like one sometimes. And it's meant to be amusing and self-deprecating but don't worry about that. Keep on riding that high horse of yours - just avoid the children with plastic swords.

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Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:06

Fuck off expat! How dare you suggest that? I love my daughter more than I can tell you. What a spiteful thing to say.

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Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:07

And my comments on the changing room thread were because I don't like seeing one gender being treated like second-class citizens whose sensibilities don't matter.

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Aitch · 22/08/2010 15:07

what was the point of this thread, Orm? that women who only have girls don't know what it's like to have boys? well, du-ur...

Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:08

Yes. That was the point I guess. And the fact that they make assumptions and have different expectations. What is the point of any thread for that matter,

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expatinscotland · 22/08/2010 15:12

Well, I didn't see anything over there that was suggesting they are to be treated as second-class citizens, just a person whose pubescent daughter with breasts and pubic hair is uncomfortable getting undressed in front of 9-year-old boy (the whole SN thing aside, which is really the heart of the matter).

God forbid a 10-year-old girl's feelings of sensitivity about her body play second fiddle to male entitlement of any sort.

Honestly, I don't see the point of this thread, either.

It's spiteful and nasty in tone, suggesting mums of only young girls are precious, over-sensitive, smug, and male-haters who don't know anything about boys because, well, they have only female children.

Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:12

No, you were the one that was spiteful.

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expatinscotland · 22/08/2010 15:13

Spiteful for calling you out for starting a nasty thread? V. starting a nasty thread?

Pot.kettle.black.

Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:14

No spiteful for saying I didn't love me daughter enough. How can you say that when you don't know me or my girl?

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expatinscotland · 22/08/2010 15:14

I said it was 'coming across' as that, not that it was true.

Because it is coming across as that.

But carry on being abusive and swearing at me.

I'm getting pretty used to that happening a lot around here.

expatinscotland · 22/08/2010 15:15

I never said that, Orm, I said your posts are coming across like that.

But carry on swearing at me and being abusive.

Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:17

It isn't a nasty thread. It was about an observation DH and I made about the way some people seem to react differently to boys and girls - and that appears to relate to their direct experience of the genders. I thought it was quite amusing, not heavy. But for some reason it got nasty and a bit weird.

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Aitch · 22/08/2010 15:17

so to be clear... you don't think that anyone else would respond badly to children sword-fighting in a picnic area where other families might want to be, in a stables where horses might want not to get spooked? you don't think that any business proprietor in this day and age might want to limit the amount of violent play on their premises?

just one who is a mother of young females... i see. i mean it's a crock of shit... but i see.

Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:18

I hardly ever lose my rag expat which you would know if you were familiar with me. But clearly you aren't. Which is fine. You upset me - stupid to care I know.

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Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:19

Yes that's right aitch. I am not a fool - they were playing in an empty area away from all horses. I guess you had to be there but it's more fun this way isn';t it>?

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expatinscotland · 22/08/2010 15:19

You upset a lot of people with this entire thread, Orm.

Myself included.

Aitch · 22/08/2010 15:20

it was a nasty thread, though, orm. how did you expect 'mothers of solely female young children' to feel when you characterise them as precious and snooty?

Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:21

How and why did it upset anyone? It was my observation. I wasn't saying that all mothers of girls were like this - I was saying that those without direct experience of boys might react like this. As is my experience.

You told me I seemed to love my daughter less than my sons,

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Original poster
OrmRenewed · 22/08/2010 15:22

Well if that is the case I apologise. Sincerely.

I am fucking off now.

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