to turn down a full-time job and let my DH support me?

[SassySusan]

DH works full-time and I work part-time (2 1/2 days a week). We are comfortable financially, and don't get any state benefits.

My boss has offered to make my job full-time. There is no practical reason I couldn't do the hours. DH says it's up to me whether I want to do the f/t hours or not.

So am I being unreasonable to sit on my fanny for half the week, spending DH's hard earned, considering he doesn't seem to mind?

I agree with you entirely blue.

I had a career and I knew, and DH knew, exactly what steps we needed to take to ensure that I was secure financially.
I also am accutely aware that we have the luxury of making the choice based upon us having savings, property and finances sizeable enough to make this even possible. I know many make this choice on a leap of faith and I know some do it to their cost.

We are a partnersip but we both wanted to ensure that my financial security was not based upon my belief in his being as committed in ten or twenty years time.

As it goes I am sure. But I would not literally bet my house on it .

Blueshoes says: "My discomfort is, however, is in women shooting themselves in the foot without even knowing it by choosing to mangle their employability to take the less work-focused route of their heart's desire."

Fair enough. But if you organise your entire life around preparing for the worst - your partner leaving you - but actually you don't like working aren't you sacrificing your current life - as Pagwatch said - to a future that may never materialise? People do have to trust each other a bit, don't they? And life always involves some risk.

I agree entirely Misscromwell.

It's about balance isn't it?

You don't want to base your life on the worst case scenario, but on the other hand, it pays to have some 'insurance' to whatever choices you make.

A lot of women do get themselves into difficult situations, if a partner leaves them, or a husband dies first, and the wife has no personal pension etc

Also, although most husbands won't be bastards and bugger off, I think there are an increasing number who may want to change the balance of their life as I said above. If the husband, after 30 years employment, wants to step back a bit, maybe go p/t, or have a few years studying, doing things in the community etc, how many wives are going to be in a position to take their turn as main earner? It's give and take, isn't it. I think women and men want more flexibility these days to combine parenting, working and doing other things.

Agree with you Violethill. Also with Blueshoes that a lot of women are a bit dippy about finances and make these decisions a bit recklessly. (Maybe men are dippy too, but social pressures make them less likely to chuck up the breadwinner role.) The amount of women I've met who say "Well I wasn't making hardly anything after paying childcare and travel and so I gave it up" and I want to shout "it's also the pension, the promotion prospects, the risk you won't be able to restart your career - your life isn't just the next five years!"

I still think though that's no reason for working if you dont want to, you (as a unit) can afford it and are happy with that decision.

Work to live or live to work; it's your choice innit. Do you value time more than money or vice versa? There's no right answer to that, by the way...