to wish DH had bought me a better present

[whoneedssleepanyway]

DH got back yesterday from a 4 day stag do in New York (let's not talk about that, it would be a whole other thread....) while I had the DDs on my own for 4 nights and had to juggle work etc round this, cope with poorly teething baby, broken fridge etc.

I was expecting him to get me a present, he did but it was a bottle of perfume that I haven't worn for years and was actually a refill bottle so doesn't even have the sprayer thing on it if you know what i mean.

I know I am probably being a bit unreasonable and ungrateful but would it have been too much to ask that he went and got me something nice from NY, it is not like there is any shortage of shopping opportunities, rather than making some rushed purchase from the duty free at the airport becuase he clearly thought, sh!t ought to get the wife something.

This is why I always drop heavy hints to DH before he goes away that a present will be required.
He loves me for my materialism. Or despite of it... whatever.

AH, there you go. He bought presents for the girls before he went. So you knew shops were not on the cards.

You are being unreasonable about the present.

Deccide on your own recompense and make it much better than a bag of hersheys

Admittedly better than a completely random perfume selection but still, a refill?

Bit of a show of gratitude is in order I think.

He's a man lmao do they actually know there's a difference?

YANBU

'stag do and shopping do not go together' er yes they do, if the destination is NYC.

Are you telling me these guys didn't check out Abercrombie etc, the sports shops, a couple of department stores etc? My DP and his friends would be into the shops like a rat up a drainpipe, especially as all their wives and DPs would have written them a list of goodies to bring home.

Whenever my DP goes to the US he comes home with new golf gear, new t-shirts, new boxer shorts, many large bags of Jolly Ranchers and muchos presents for me.

Next time, don't 'expect', go online, do your research and write him a list.

YABU if you think any stag do will allow for a shopping spree.

I guess I'd better confess now that DD1 wanted perfume last Christmas, it was lovely stuff but I didn't realise it came in a man's and a woman's version...

Guess which one I got her

Hi.
Did he buy for the kids?
I'd be disappointed by that - i often am disappointed by DH's presents. However I think that he probably doesn't understand how you felt - what you need to do is go away for a few days leaving him to cope. Or if this isn't possible, then for a day, afternoon, lunch and do something for you with girlfriends / sister. Even if you plan if for months in advance I think it would help how your feel.

I am good at present buying but do acknowledge that shopping is hard work and takes so long. I can see that DH wouldn't have been shopping and the right head on.

YABU - I used to take ex-DH the small bottles of smellies from the hotel

Seriously he tried. Men are shit at presents. Either google the airline brochure for his flight and send him with an item number or lump it

I suspect that men are 'shit at presents' the way that so many men are 'shit at washing dishes' ie in fact they're perfectly capable of doing a good job, they just can't be arsed, and know that if they make a hash of it we'll just let it slide and do it ourselves.

Why, exactly, should a man not have to buy his partner a decent gift?

I am with pag she is always right

Where dh went wrong was to not make up some fabulous story about how he went to Bloomingdales, bought a fabulously expensive handbag which then had a tragic misdemeanor before making it back to the uk.

Then quickly phones someone he knows in NYC (if possible) and gets them to send one over! Or buys replacement here in the uk.

But he is a bloke not a girl so wouldn't have thought up some fabulously concocted bullshit!

"I'd expect something demonstrating proper appreciation."-

Appreciation for what?

For looking after the kids single handed for 4 days while OH went out to party.

OP- I for one would have the right ump

I spent 3 days of our recent holiday in bed with a tummy upset. DH was overheard joking how much money we were saving on drink food/outings etc..for me.

Oh boy, did I have fun in the duty-free shops on the way home!

I am with Morris on the gift thing.
Dh gets great gifts.
Most people can get good gifts if they know the person well and have some empathy.
There are a few who just can'tthink of things or have been with someone so long they have 'done' all their best ideas.
And of course there are some people of either sex who are crap ( I am looking at you SIL) but mostly if someone wants to get a good gift they will often do well.

Men are crap at presents, we all know it. What you should have done was given him a list of things to buy you before he left........that's what I'd have done anyway!

I've got one of those SILs pag

...so much so that Other SIL ended up in the bathroom on Christmas day furiously texting me about her bobbins present

I've read the OP and considered it.

I've read all of the responses and considered it again.

In all honesty, I have no opinion whatsoever.

I truly don't know.

It's all over isn't it? I don't belong here anymore.

liberty - it's like parenting - sometimes you just have to pretend to be interested... ohhh another ant wow, yes he is small, yes and black, just like the previous 56 you've pointed out on this walk to the corner shop.

op- yabu.. because I said so (see, it's all the same just you can switch mn off)

Oh I can pretend.

OP, you are definitely not BU in the slightest.

Have him shot immediately.

You see, I've gone too far the other way haven't I?

I wonder if that old adage of "people treat you the way you allow them to" could apply here?
As in "people will give you the crap presents you allow them to. The first time, anyway."
Am thinking of my SIL, who spent a good few years being so vile-ly ungrateful and cat's bum faced about gifts, that we've all been terrified into getting her decent stuff.
But, then, none of us likes her. So there's a downside.
I am always sweet about gifts from people. But I have managed to train DH into getting decent flowers. Nothing from a service station or with carnations/chrysanths in, anyway.

Does that make me a cow?

Well I´m a shit wife because when I´ve been away I´ve never bought my husband anything for looking after his own children.

And I didn´t have the excuse of being on a stag do, either!