to wish DH had bought me a better present

[whoneedssleepanyway]

DH got back yesterday from a 4 day stag do in New York (let's not talk about that, it would be a whole other thread....) while I had the DDs on my own for 4 nights and had to juggle work etc round this, cope with poorly teething baby, broken fridge etc.

I was expecting him to get me a present, he did but it was a bottle of perfume that I haven't worn for years and was actually a refill bottle so doesn't even have the sprayer thing on it if you know what i mean.

I know I am probably being a bit unreasonable and ungrateful but would it have been too much to ask that he went and got me something nice from NY, it is not like there is any shortage of shopping opportunities, rather than making some rushed purchase from the duty free at the airport becuase he clearly thought, sh!t ought to get the wife something.

um, yes yabvvvvvu!

he was on a stag do fgs. i don't suppose they spent much time wandering round girly shops buying presents did they?

to "expect" a present is rude. to wish the present you did get was better is downright ungrateful

tbh i wouldn't get anything

i'd rather have no present than a last min duty free purchase. I'm wound up for you! If my DH left me with 2 kids to party in NYC i'd be expecting something in a turquoise box with a white bow! If he can afford to go to a stag there, he can afford to get me jewellery. hehe

i think i was being pretty low maintenance not really batting an eyelid about him going to NYC for 4 days at the time and moving stuff around for his convenience Hairy...I never get tea in bed

If my husband was on a stag do, it wouldn´t occur to me that he would bring a present back, so anything would be nice, even if it was just picked up at the airport.

Oh I get tea in bed. That's way better than perfume actually isn't it?

whoneedssleep

Well I don't think YABU.
Well only a bit.

He went away. You ploughed on manfully. he comes back and says 'look I got you a present' you think yipee but can't help feeling disappointed.

I don't think that makes you unreasonable.

I don't think you are being sniffy about the present. I think you are a bit sad that he seems to think that is quid pro quo and that is therefore all the recognition you are getting for the factthat his jolly left you burdened.

Did he say 'here you are, how fab you are to be so cool about me leaving you here while I pissed about. etc etc'

or did he chuck you the gift and fall asleep because he has been pissed and out all night for 4 days ...

I don't think you are being ungrateful. I think you are feeling un-valued.

My dh came back from South Africa with a velvet pouch once.

South Africa + velvet pouch = diamonds?? Right?

Wrong. South Africa + velvet pouch = chicken bones (to tell fortunes with).

He's lucky he's still alive.

I am enjoying all the

'YABVU, my dh went away for three years, left me with five children and a small holding to care for and all I got was the top of a tube of toothpaste. You are selfish IMO'

Good old mumsnet

Stag do & shopping do not go together. I'd think he did well to bring back anything to be honest. Pity it's a refill though. Gift it on (see tight thread in chat)

I would expect to be lavished a little once he returned though

agedknees

where exactly did the chicken bones end up?

Tis the reason my dh has a funny walk (now).

was he spatchcocked?

I can neither confirm or deny that comment, pagwatch.

Pagwatch - do you know my DH if un-valued isn't a word it should be.

Loving the chicken bones.

I often like to speculate on how all the people who are saying you're being selfish would react in RL to the stated situation.

Surely - there would be a little bit of you that would be pissed off at such a gift which was so lacking in thought.

I mean if I'd been on a hen do to NYC for 4 days I think I'd have grabbed something other than a bottle of aftershave for DH.

YABU you should be booking your xmas shopping trip to NY with your girlfriends, not waiting around for him to bring presents back

whats good for the goose and all that

Hmmm.

As this was a stag do (but really, new York is taking it too far), I imagine that the groom-to-be had drawn up an itinerary of sorts and I doubt shops was on it.

1. Did they go shopping at all? If so, he has no excuse and it's a poor show. If they didn't, you are starting to seem fairly unreasonable.

1. As he spent a fortune on teh trip, I would not have expected anything other than a statue of liberty key ring. SO you are still appearing fairly unreasonable.

1. Did he bring the dds presents? That's the main thing (apart from teh baby - she wouldn't care. How old's the other one?).If he did, YABU.

lol @ chicken bones

kind of what VT said - why expect a present - I'd expect to have four days off too. You can bring him a bottle of aftershave back.

1. Were you pissed off with him before he left? If so, he has been very thoughtles indeed and should have got you a half-decent present. And maybe yanbu.

pointydog - they are 3.5 and 1, he got them each a present before he went (guess that means he knew he wasn't going to get to the shops...!).

agedknees - maybe he asked the chicken bones if you would kill him before he gave them to you and so he knew he was safe...

Maybe he really liked that perfume and would like you to start wearing it again? TBH I'd be both surprised that he'd remembered I'd worn it and bought a present so YAB(a little bit)U.

YANBU! 4 days off on a stag do, and you get a dodgy bottle of perfume? I'd expect something demonstrating proper appreciation.

DH went off skiing for a week in Feb and he was well briefed in advance that I expected a decent gift. You show signs of having under-briefed him imo.

But it's not dodgy it's a perfume she used to wear, at least he can remember a brand she wears/wore