WIBU to shove 36 xmas cards up my SIL's ****?

[gobsmackedetal]

this might be a bit long, but I don't want to be accused of AIBU by stealth, so let me start by admitting I'm what my DH calls "a Christmas whore". I'm all about christmas, all year round and I make no apologies for it.

I'm very careful with money, we're comfortable but I don't like wasting. I also prefer to give to charity than buy the fabulously improved 2010 barbie model for DD (iyswim).

Now, the following I'm only going to say because I'm anonymous here, nobody other than DH knows. I get very upset by the thought of people suffering and spend a lot of effort, time and money where I can, to help. We sponsor children, we organise events, we buy products and I intend to volunteer abroad in developing countries and offer my skilld once my children are 18 (15 years to go..)

Back to the point. I send about 100 christmas cards a year. I start writing them in september otherwise it wouldn't happen. I buy UNICEF cards, since I need cards why not these, I thought.

A couple of years ago I found out that my SIL has been bitching about how I'm all smug with my UNICEF cards and she hates it when people send them because it's like they're trying to show how nice and thoughtful they are while the ones that bought cards from tesco are selfish. And then she compared it to giving a goat for christmas, which I think is totally different.

I ignored it, as I thought that I'm not going to change my habits because of this snide comment. But she dropped in yesterday (we live abroad, she's over here on a holiday) when I had pulled out the cards I have left over from last year to see how many I have left, looked at them and said "oh, these are last year's designs. Are you not going to help any poor starving children this year then?". Her comment broke my heart and I said nothing, but now I regret that I didn't roll up the 36 cards and shove them up hers. Would you? Then I'd have to buy new ones and save this year's starving children (does she really think that's how it works?)

I want to let it slide but I feel so upset. Am I wrong for sending UNICEF cards? Is it really smug? Should I say anything to SIL? WWYD?

i have christmas cards with my ass on them

i dont get holidays either, so no pent up anger here, but i do live on a sink estate so can smell a blag a mile orf

arse or donkey?

please say donkey, please say donkey

We can judge politicians for putting their dc's pics on cards though, can't we?

I've never put my kids in for modelling as it wouldn't be fair on all the others. Ditto the school play.

(btw 'regularly' re kitchen drawers = once every couple of yrs in our house. I did feel smug afterwards when I could finally open the drawer without bits of paper falling down the back.)

I know its a burden having the best looking child on the christmas card isnt it :o

I love doing a drawer out I do, it makes me feel nearly as smug as picking up litter when Im walking my dog!

i know how you feel, its burden having the best looking donkey too

I feel charity giving should be a private affair. I have in-laws who raise heaps of cash for charity, which really is fab,but why do they need to tell me all about it in great detail? My in-laws always start christmas in July. Do the two things link together in some way? Some personality trait that drives them along?

Could be all the Goodwill to all men (and card companies) Allbie. Its the common factor.

It makes me want to say that I'm not doing xmas cards this year and all the money I save is going to go on....ME! (exit stage right, laughing all the way!)

me too. But then the world would miss out on my chilren's mugs smiling down from the mantelpiece as they stuff Quality Street down their necks. Would be cruel to deprive them....

I do find it bizzare when people discuss their charitable acts. How exactly do your in-laws expect the convo to go?
I just remembered of someone I know started once talking at a party about how they'd like to sponsor a child once they'd have a bit more cash and went on and on about it, finishing with "shame not everyone thinks the way we do"!!! I didn't quite know how to respond so I refilled my wine glass

remembered someone, not of someone

I have the answer! Do your own piccies and register as a charity! All that glitters is actually gold! Win win situation...

and just to avoid misunderstanding "we" was her and her husband, not her and me

Anyway, it's almost bedtime and have to go sort the sprogs out, so I need to know, what's the general consensus, do I tie her up and use the cards to plug her butthole or can I actually be charitable and forget the whole thing. How do I set up a voting thingy on MN?

Yeah stick it to her GS.

Fund-raising's difficult; you need to tell people that you're doing it or you don't actually fund-raise, but then we expect charitable giving to be 'private'.

And living in a village there's fundraising going on all the time. There has to be because we get virtually nothing provided by the local authority. And we don't exactly have what you'd call a thriving night life, or indeed any other kind, so regular fundraising events gives us things to go to.

Your sil sounds like an arse. You really should have responded.

I don't think your heart should be broken - you need perspective here - but you should be feeling annoyed with yourself for not taking your eyes off your flippin cards to deliver a cutting riposte.

It's fine to send unicef cards. Do you mention your charitable doings a lot? Do you think you are smug at all?

Erm apologies if I've missed this being asked... but it takes you from August to December to write 100 cards??? That's like one a day until Christmas isn't it? Even when I had to stand over the DDs and help them write a card to every fecking child in their school years AND all the family and friends etc ones I never bothered until December ffs

Charity cards tend to be a very poor way of giving to charity - for example 20 cards in Sainsburys cost £4 - donation to charity 15-30p.

Even when the charity commissions and sells them direct they don't get much.

Mind you I prefer my charitably giving to be quiet and by direct debit. I do get quite frustrated with people who go on about how much they have given.

However to comment on the OPs sister, I would suggest this is sheer sibling jealousy.

Oh and I started my christmas shopping and organised christmas dinner today so the rest of you December denialists can all go boil your heads (ho ho ho!)

I may start a 'Christmas is for December' campaign

YABU to write christmas cards in Sept, or to even consider writing them in August!

Not unreasonable at all to send charity cards. I have never sent anything else, and TBH am always a bit shocked that so many people I know send commercial ones, now that so many charity cards are available everywhere you turn. (Before christmas, that is. Nobody should be thinking about christmas, or mentioning it in AIBU, in August. Please.) Your SIL has a bit of a chip, I'd say. Unless your card comes with a smug attitude. Which I'm sure it doesn't.

I am also a Christmas addict and can't believe the number of complaints here about 'not in August' or even about the thread! If people don't want to hear about Christmas till December, fair enough but why did you click on this thread? The clue's in the title!

I would get her, as this year's gift, a donation in her name to help starving children. Write in it that you knew this was what she'd want. Write it as smugly as you can. And if that isn't possible, then get her a goat. If she thinks you're smug, show her she ain't seen nothing yet!

Oh, and for cards that give a decent proportion of the money to charity, try charitycards.co.uk or cardaid.co.uk. Or buying directly from charities like Oxfam. The ones sold in supermarkets etc as charity cards aren't the best, true.

to MNHQ - When will the Christmas smileys be available this year? 1st Sept?