one of DS's ex supply teachers is on DS's facebook

[stoppinattwo]

Im.finding.it.a.bit.wrong(sorry.about.the.dots.my.space.bar.has.just.fallen.off)

DS is nearly 12 and i know shouldnt have fb.yet but i monitor it hence my noticing this woman on his fb, i didnt think this was allowed regardless of whether she still taught at DS's school or not..

She taught him for most of yr3 and he has jsut going into yr7 so almost 4 yrs later she makes contact....

Ihave just had a call from ds's hm as i tried to reach him and he is going to tell her to remove herself from DS's fb immediately and any other pupil she may have befriended

AIbU to be mystified and a bit rattled by this womans behaviour??

Sorry, just re-read your OP...do you mean you called your son's Headmaster during the holidays about this? That seems very OTT to me.

violet...how can you compare the two?? what a crock...thats like saying they are of equal meaning

Maisie Im sorry but i do see it as holier than thou,

if my policing methods had failed then i wouldnt be asking the question because i wouldnt know...its not difficult

Well, you're wrong. You chose to lie (and set him a bad example), you allowed him a FB when he's underage and now you're getting upset because your 'policing' failed and an adult whom you perceive as unacceptable has contacted him. Is it easier to call other parents who do accept the FB rules holier than thou than it is to accept responsibility for the inevitable?

Don't understand what you're on about.

You let him lie to have a FB account while underage.

He's proved that that was a bad decision through his actions hasn't he!

Responding to OP sorry if duplicated.

At the Secondary school I teach at ALL staff were requested to remove pupils existing or old ones that had left, this was in-line with union recommendations.

It does seem a grey area as it is an out fo school online thing but it is not considered good ethical practice - according to my knowledge.

As it happens a member of staff posted xmas party photos on there and this came back to me in the middle of a lesson from a very sharp tounged young lady.

I know your son is much younger but its just not right.

typical friday night double standard crew in tonight then??

masie....so.you never did anything wrong? preferct parenting, im sure

I have explained why i allowed him to use a fb account at 12 I dont need to justify any more

and yes he made a bad decision,however giving me a valuable opportunity to explain the issue........all so negative...please just stick to the question....or is this justa quiche response??

thankouy namechange100...helpful answer

I am going to add - I dont see problem with FB acc if you are his friend and have access to all areas i.e. his password so you can check his msgs too.

Why dont you just delete her and block her?
The fact that you have flagged this up means you policing has not failed - it will have failed if you dont act upon it which clearly your are.

YABVU to hassle your son's headteacher about this while he is on holiday! If you are that concerned about it then get your son to delete the teacher, or make him close his FB account until he is old enough to have one.

I should think your ds's headmaster loves you.... you contact him on his holiday to complain that your underage son has accepted an ex supply teacher as a friend on facebook. You'll be a running joke in the staffroom y'know

i have messaged her to explain the deletion as she has a number of DS's friends on her fb too....thus giving her the opportunity to put her account in order after reflecting on my comments

Hmmmm...I am a former teacher, and a lot of my former students are friends on FB. However, ALL of them are in their 20's now, and THEY initiated contact with me; even if I see that a former student of mine is a mutual friend, suggested, etc., I won't be the one to 'friend' them, iyswim.

I would definitely NOT have friended any of these students if I were still teaching at the same school OR if any of those students were still in the same school...it's just a bit creepy, tbh.

And sorry OP...12 is a little bit too young for social networking...I know you've had a thrashing for that, but there is a little truth to it...even 13 seems a bit too young to me.

mango, violet hm hadbeen in school yesterday i had no idea he was on hols....he rung me back,he didnt need to...wind your necks in the pair of you.......

Violet - I think thats unfair to say this yes very concerned parent will be a running joke, to be fair might be labelled as on the ball very concerned parent - at times its these parents that keep schools on their toes.

Anyway, lets assume this worst case secario and this ex teacher is dodgy in anyway or even someone else pretending to be her, if nothing was said to the school and aything bad happened how would that all 'pan out'.

Any potential risks to a young person what ever circumstances should be flagged up as part of safeguarding them, whether parent or frontline staff.

Stoppin, you really should have known better than to mention he was only 12 on here .

LOL at the poor HM getting a message whilst on his hols... bet he was chuffed.

My take, yes technically he is too young to be on FB, but as you say, you do monitor his usage. Which I would say is much better than making him wait until he was 13 and not monitoring (as I am sure some parents do).

I can't say if I would let me DD have a facebook a/c at 12 as she is only 6 so I can't possible judge (for once)

Eve youresponse is constructive thankyou...the aim of ds on fb was so he didnt lose touch with his mates moving on to snrs

in hindsight not my best decision but one made wiht eyes wide open, fully aware of my ds's limitations and hence my efficient and effective policing of his fb accoutn!!

Heif...you know ds and your take is correct.These kids are not stupid adn if i made him wait chances are he wold have one wtohout me knowing, at least i have had the chance to discuss wioth him the potential ptifalls of fb.....

Perfect parenting?? Hardly, but I don't let my 12 yr old DS have a FB account because thems the rules, as he and I both know, and he knows I won't lie on his behalf. When he's 13 he can have a FB account, and I will monitor it then. In the meantime he'll do without - saying no is not that hard, you know.

Both my DDs (way under 13, BTW) have FB accounts...I needed neighbours for Cafe World! I am sad and have no friends...

well maisie then i would pick your battles as ido, unless you make perfect parenting choices i would reserve judgement on mine....or you might find one day that your smug outlook may just bite you back??

I hope im wrong of course

jaamy.....you.are.a.funny.one.............god.my.spacebar.is.shiote

Ta, SA2 - they needed a wash after falling in the cake!

I don't have to pick this battle at all - it's 13 by FB's own rules. I'm certainly not going to set him a bad example by lying, and if he wants to argue then he can contact FB himself. If you think somehow that other parents who adhere to the rules when it comes to their children are "smug" then that's your problem.

oh maisie.....I.think i can hear the birds tweeting in your back garden