to think this present rejection is odd?

[OneTwoBuckleMyShoe]

A friend ours recently her DD christened and so off I went to buy a nice present, being an RE teacher I had the perfect one in mind, our cathedral shop do some really beautiful illustrated Bible stories that are a lovely to keep etc for when she is older.

I was very chuffed with the gift and so was a bit surprised to receive it back today with a slightly terse note saying that they couldn't accept the gift as the DH was not at all religious.

Er well excuse me but he was the one at the font promising to renounce the Devil etc etc

AIBU to think this is a bit [hmmm] and should I say anything or just keep the rather lush book of stories for my DD to enjoy when older?

Agree with everyone else - quite staggeringly rude & ignorant.

I'm an atheist. I have several copies of the Bible (a New English Bible given to me at school, a King James's, & i think three Greek NTs - dh1 was a Theology grad, I'm a Classics grad ).

Absolutely essential reference text, IMO, much like having a complete Shakespeare.

Ds (6) recently asked if we had a Bible, because he's had various Bible stories read to him at school & wanted to read them for himself.

Of course, I said, handing over my school NEB. You will look after it won't you ds? Only I'd actually be upset if it got damaged, I've had it a long time...

...& rather to my own surprise, I would be upset, literary abomination though it is!

Totally inconsistent with the christening, but anyway, tbh, I'd never, ever have my dc baptised, but I'd still think a Bible a nice gift.

Stewie, if you're getting a book on religious lines for a very religious Catholic family make sure it has the Imprimatur of a bishop on one of the first pages. You can't go wrong if you look in a specifically Catholic bookshop of gift shop attached to a Catholic shrine, church, cathedral or monastery, but ask at the checkout.

It should say something like
'Nihil Obstat: XX, Censor librorum
Imprimatur: + XX, Archbishop/ Bishop of Y, Date'
on one of the first pages, maybe with the introduction.

There is vast amounts of Christian gifts here: www.eden.co.uk/

something like this? www.worshipwithintegrity.com/index.php?main_page=product_music_info&products_id=1380

I'm wondering what the fact that 'her DH reads to their DD' has got to do with it?! does the mum not read? presumably she can if she wrote the thank you note. has he really been such a toddler about it? crikey - my DD has loads of books that DH really can't stand (Miffy, Where The Wild Things Are to name but two!) but he wouldn't dream of getting rid of them! and sometimes he even READS THEM because DD likes them! FFS. anyway even if the christening was due to familial pressure (I can sort of understand that) - surely then one of the grandparents must be religious and therefore could keep the book to enjoy with their grandchild?!

good point those who mentioned christmas - maybe invite everyone but them to a party and say "oh, I thought as you didn't want bible stories...". also love the etiquette book idea, and telling the vicar/school. I would love for DC to go to a church school if there was one near us, but only if it were one that accepts anyone of any faith. I wouldn't dream of getting DC christened just to get into a school, that's so disgusting

wow must stop ranting...

couple of hijacking questions though if I may:

1. anyone seen a 3D wooden puzzle of Noah's Ark? I saw it in a catalogue once and wish I'd bought it. :( when put together flat it's just a circle, blue sea round the outside. or you can make it 3D and the curved bits cross over to make a rainbow IIRC, with the ark in the middle. searched Amazon etc but no luck :(

1. would it be hypocritical of us to send DC to Sunday School when they're older, if they want to go? DH and I are atheists but I used to go with my friend and I loved it, learning about morals and Bible stories etc. would appreciate any thoughts...

In answer to 2. no I don't think so if the request has come from your DC to go, will be a nice place to learn more just chose the church/sunday school wisely, you don't want to them to go to a high church place that will tell them their parents are sinners etc for not going to church!

We even called our DD1s naming ceremony a "not-a-christening", and still got two bibles. IMO even non-religous children need to know the bibles stories though- they will struggle to understand much of literature, history, art, etc without that background knowledge...

Unbelievably crass and rude! the gift was intended for the child NOT the father. If the mother wanted to respect the fathers wishes surely she should just have put the gift away for the child when older??

Clearly the ceremony was about showing off their dd and nothing to do with brining her into the christian faith. This is exactly why I believe there is an argument for christening/baptism only to be open to families who regularly attend church.

A small anecdote re suitable gifts.

An adult friend was confirmed. I knew she had plenty of Bibles etc and was at a loss as to what to get her.

In the end I got her a pretty-pretty book of psalms and prayers from Past Times. It looked nice but, come on, Past Times? Hardly your first stop for Christian Literature. It was the sort of book that looks nice but has very little substance.

At the tea after the confirmation the Bishop of Rochester was doing his rounds chatting to people, and people were asking him to autograph the Bibles/Prayer Books they had been given for their Confirmation presents. Imagine my embarrassment when my friend asked him to sign the one I'd given her. I cringed, dreading what he'd think of it.

He said "Ah! I got this for Christmas!" I was so

Unbelievable.

I too, am not a Christian, didn't get married in church, children aren't Christened. I have the deepest respect for people's faith and I always thought it was just wrong to pretend to believe just for the occasion.

However I do know my bible and there are bible stories in the house.

I would also never refuse a gift, no matter how much I didn't like it.

This is hypocrisy, rudeness and ignorance all in one handy gesture.

Eye as friend and move on.

That shoud have been delete as friend. Bloody predictive text.

I'm now feeling I should revise my bible stories as I don't know enough of them!