to think this present rejection is odd?

[OneTwoBuckleMyShoe]

A friend ours recently her DD christened and so off I went to buy a nice present, being an RE teacher I had the perfect one in mind, our cathedral shop do some really beautiful illustrated Bible stories that are a lovely to keep etc for when she is older.

I was very chuffed with the gift and so was a bit surprised to receive it back today with a slightly terse note saying that they couldn't accept the gift as the DH was not at all religious.

Er well excuse me but he was the one at the font promising to renounce the Devil etc etc

AIBU to think this is a bit [hmmm] and should I say anything or just keep the rather lush book of stories for my DD to enjoy when older?

How rude! I am not religious but did have my DD baptised as it was very important to my Grandad and I'm agnostic so thought it would be a good thing to do, just in case there is a God and baptisms are important to him! (Ridiculous, I know, but there you go...)

We recieved lots of religious gifts which were and still are (4 years later) loved and appreciated by me and DD. Never would I have dreamt of returning any of them, not even the velour mustard coloured Winnie the Pooh dress bought by a lovely auntie .

Okay, I can't find the actual story about the etiquette book, but it was related to the site www.etiquettehell.com.

Thanks LucyLouLou but my SIL would definitely know that I sent it as a had a huge bitch moan about her lack of good manners to my MIL today!

Oh. My. God. I can't believe this is real. It is wrong on so many levels, as everyone's said. And to not even acknowledge how batshit crazy it is, I am in awe at your friend's lack of shame OP.

I am not religious and neither is my husband, he's very atheistic. I read the story to him and he declared it 'fucking crazy' as well. And immediately pointed out that the Bible underpins 2000 years of our culture so it's a good idea for anyone to have a working knowledge of it.

What unbelievable people!

I so hope she sees this thread.

It's a shame you can't do that. I long to do it to a particular relative of mine, but I too fear it would be a little too obvious that it was me....oh well, the thought is nice anyway!

Sorry, my last message was for LouMacca, just to be clear :).

I love the idea of sending an etiquette book instead.

expatinscotland - isn't the thought of sending that book a warm and fuzzy moment in itself?

You are so not being unreasonable.
I don't know how you can bear to be in touch with them still. It is crass on so many levels.

YANBU. I have no idea what planet that family is on. Very strange and apparently uber-stupid. I will be stealing your orignal and thougthful gift idea for future christenings. I loved my book of bible stories when I was younger. Im not particularly religious now but would value my [future] children to have a grounding in the Christian traditions and stories.

Well DD has had a great time looking at all the lovely pictures in her new book!

DH is flummoxed as the couple are so nice (normally!) and have been good friends for a long time.

Still their loss is our gain.

Are you going to stay in contact with them OneTwoBuckleMyShoe?

Outrageous!

If you don't believe in God, don't get your children christened!

Even if you don't belive in God, or Christianity, it's bonkers to not let your children read stories that are a) really good stories and b) cornerstones of Western thought.

I am a more or less an atheist but as a child pored over my illustrated bible stories and loved stories like Daniel in the lion's den, David and Goliath etc

Teaching English Lit at A level, I constantly come across kids who can't fully access all the allusions in texts we do like Blake, some of the war poets, Shakespeare, etc because they have no sense of any bible stories, bible quotes, nothing. E.g. they don't know the story of the Garden of Eden then have to study Blake's Garden of Love. It's a big gap in your knowledge generally to not know the fundamentals of the bible stories.

Haven't read the whole thread so sorry if someone's already suggested this -

Send the note to the head of their local C of E school just in case they are under the same misapprehension as you

I would be tempted to cool off any relationship with them after the appalling way they have treated you, I'm offended on your behalf;

The rudeness of returning a gift when they could have just disposed of it another way.

The hypocrisy of a christening when they aren't religious.

The fact they EXPECTED certain types of gifts.

The foolishnes of not allowing their child to know about the cultural aspects of knowing familiar bible stories (I'mnot religious but object to ds knowing of them, it's surpringly useful)

I certainly wouldn't be able to see them in the same light again

Umm, I have a name - therefore I was christened. My dad was an atheist, therefore I wasn't baptised. Get it right please!!!

At least my dad wasn't a hypocrite like your friend's DH! Apallingly rude under any circumstances, to return an obviously thoughtful gift like that - and quite unforgiveable given the baptism. YANBU at all!

Fucking rude-and stupid.
I couldn't be friends with oafs like this.

ItsGraceActually there is a separate ceremony in some churches (Catholic & high CofE) called a christening. It's different to baptism.

Also, you can have a name without being christened.

That is one of the rudest and most self-deluded things I have ever heard of. YADNBU! Why wouldn't they just put it on a shelf or in a cupboard if you were someone who likes a Christening but not Christanity?! Maybe they only kept gifts of silver?! Unbelievable!

The religious element is neither here nor there though.

If it was a teapot and the pathetic woman sent it back saying 'oh we can't keep this as DH hates tea' it would be even more obvious how staeggeringly rude they both were.
Wouldn't normal basic everyday manners dicate that when you get an unwanted present you thank the giver enormously and just put it away discreetly ?

The terrible attempt at some kind of intellectual, moral, anti religion statement requiring the gift to be returned is totally undermined by the hypocrisy of the chrsitening

Rude, hypocritical and incredibly thick obtuse.

Biblical knowledge is general knowledge. Think it does children a disservice not to at know the stories, as culturally there are so many references to them. Had to give my 6th form a crash course re JC being the lamb of God etc and The Fall of Man, before being able to access two exam texts.