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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this present rejection is odd?

161 replies

OneTwoBuckleMyShoe · 06/08/2010 16:19

A friend ours recently her DD christened and so off I went to buy a nice present, being an RE teacher I had the perfect one in mind, our cathedral shop do some really beautiful illustrated Bible stories that are a lovely to keep etc for when she is older.

I was very chuffed with the gift and so was a bit surprised to receive it back today with a slightly terse note saying that they couldn't accept the gift as the DH was not at all religious.

Er well excuse me but he was the one at the font promising to renounce the Devil etc etc

AIBU to think this is a bit [hmmm] and should I say anything or just keep the rather lush book of stories for my DD to enjoy when older?

OP posts:
MathsMadMummy · 06/08/2010 16:36

bloody rude to even return a gift, let alone for such a ridiculous reason.

I would've loved to get married in a church, and/or have the kids christened, but I didn't because I'm an atheist. in fact I would love to go to church in general, but I'm an athiest (I've often said to DH I'm a Christian in every way except that I don't/can't believe in God, lol).

DH is an athiest too, and more of a staunch one than me IYSWIM. but I'm sure even if we were randomly given such a lovely sounding gift he wouldn't return it.

even if you're an athiest WTF is wrong with having a book of bible stories anyway? I had one as a child and I loved it.

OP, YANBU obviously, but YABU to consider keeping it for your own DD... please send it to me instead :o

BramblyHedge · 06/08/2010 16:36

Regardless of the hypocrisy, it is just plain rude to return a gift. We are atheist and had a naming day but if anyone ever gave the dc's a religious gift I'd say thank you and either put it on the shelf or find a new home for it depending on my mood. Same for duplicates, things not to my taste etc. My ds1 got given some pink girls gloves for xmas once and they still got a thank you note.

hairytriangle · 06/08/2010 16:37

definately odd, as they had the baby christened - but I wouldn't rock the boat. I think it's rude of them to send the gift back though.

MathsMadMummy · 06/08/2010 16:37

oops just realised I wrote 'athiest' instead of 'atheist' Blush

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/08/2010 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 06/08/2010 16:39

that's not odd, it's fecking rude.

why have a christening then?

i'd not hang out with them anymore because i don't enjoy keeping company with hypocrites.

i wouldn't have a problem telling her that, either.

proudnsad · 06/08/2010 16:41

Incredibly rude!

Plus, I am an atheist but my dc LOVE the children's bible I bought them. I remembered reading one as a child and loving all fascinating, scary, moving, thought-provoking stories and they feel the same.

Hermya321 · 06/08/2010 16:42

That is bizare and actually quite rude. If it had been me and you had given me such a gift I wouldn't have turned my nose up at it, I would have thanked you and enjoyed reading the stories with my LO.

It was a very thoughtful gift and entirely appropriate for a Christening, YANBU and actually she is a rude and ungrateful person and should really know better.

GinSlinger · 06/08/2010 16:42

oh this should be in the new etiquette topic.

This is terrible rude and I feel a bit lost for words.

MathsMadMummy · 06/08/2010 16:42

for some reason I had an obsession with 'the boy who fell out of the window' Hmm

BalloonSlayer · 06/08/2010 16:47

Not only rude and hypocritical but pretty stupid.

Bible stories are part of popular culture and if you don't know them you don't get references in literature, jokes etc. You don't have to be religious, but giving a blank look in response if someone makes a weak joke such as [when it's raining hard] "oooh it looks as if it will rain for 40 days and 40 nights" makes you look pretty dense.

Someone pointed out recently (not on here) that you can't enjoy, say, the works of PG Wodehouse or Shakespeare if you don't have a working knowledge of the Bible.

Silly woman. Or is her DH some horrible controlling arse and we should be feeling sorry for her?

letsblowthistacostand · 06/08/2010 16:48

It's not just (horrifically) rude, it's bizarre. What do they expect you to do, get them something else? Do you suppose all lovely inscribed bibles were also sent back to the givers? Are they normally this weird?

loonyrationalist · 06/08/2010 16:49

I am an atheist & have resisted considerable family pressure to have the dd's christened; that said even I would not reject such a gift & it is beyond rude to do so.

To reject such a gift when given as a christening present shows them imho to be the highest level of hypocrite in addition to being incredibly rude individuals.

TBH you are a better person than me as I would be seriously considering the future of our friendship. Definately say something!!

BalloonSlayer · 06/08/2010 16:51

Suggest a note in reply saying...

"Er OK. Perhaps you should have said that to the Vicar and saved us all the trouble."

traceybath · 06/08/2010 16:51

Blimey - thats a whole new level of rudeness and hypocrisy - my face would have been Shock

MathsMadMummy · 06/08/2010 16:52

my friend did an English Lit degree and the Bible was on her compulsory reading list, so I totally agree with BalloonSlayer!

OP, you should phone them right now and say "I'm so sorry if my present offended you, I am really surprised you had a christening" or whatever (thisisyesterday's suggestion was good)

go on do it right now and tell us what they say :o

and then send me the book Envy

sanielle · 06/08/2010 16:52

As an athiest I am offended by her having a christening for gifts.. then complianing they are too religous? WTF? Hmm

I think I would say something

sapphireblue · 06/08/2010 16:52

horrifically rude! If they really didn't want it could they not have taken it to a charity shop or something? It seems they are deliverately trying to offend you. I would be so tempted to use the "as you had a CHRISTENING I assumed you were Christian" line too.

BalloonSlayer · 06/08/2010 16:52

Oh and keep the present for your DCs and don't replace it with anything, would be my advice.

sanielle · 06/08/2010 16:53

Stupid not to have a bible anyway as EVERYTHING in western cultures has some basis or reference to it.

FindingMyMojo · 06/08/2010 16:54

hypocritical, rude & stupid of them. I'm quite astonished!

LoveBeingInBed · 06/08/2010 16:54

HOw very strange. Why would she return it though, really, if you dh didn't like a gift you had received for the dcs would he make you return it?

LoveBeingInBed · 06/08/2010 16:55

btw maybe mentioning that the gift was not for her dh next time you speak also.....

staranise · 06/08/2010 16:56

Very strange and very rude!

MathsMadMummy · 06/08/2010 16:56

good point actually that the christening could've been just a 'give us presents' ploy. jeez. or perhaps an excuse for a pretty white outfit for the baby Hmm

good grief no, don't you dare get them another present. ever.

"oh, sorry I can't find anything that would make a good christening present that isn't, um, christian - isn't that weird?" :o

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