to think this present rejection is odd?

[OneTwoBuckleMyShoe]

A friend ours recently her DD christened and so off I went to buy a nice present, being an RE teacher I had the perfect one in mind, our cathedral shop do some really beautiful illustrated Bible stories that are a lovely to keep etc for when she is older.

I was very chuffed with the gift and so was a bit surprised to receive it back today with a slightly terse note saying that they couldn't accept the gift as the DH was not at all religious.

Er well excuse me but he was the one at the font promising to renounce the Devil etc etc

AIBU to think this is a bit [hmmm] and should I say anything or just keep the rather lush book of stories for my DD to enjoy when older?

Couple of dipsticks! Like someone else mentioned maybe a book on manners and social ettiquiette (yes I know I can't spell!) would have been more appropriate- they all might have learnt something

Gosh did they give the vicar back the candle from the service so that the light of god did not enter their home?
My DH is not religious, however, it was very important to me that a) we were married in the sight of god b) that DD was welcomed into god's family so he accepted both of these. I know it's not everyones cup of tea, but to me my faith is very important. However, I just don't get people who have it done for the party.
I would just keep the book.

The ISBN is 978-1841351056, it's published by Award.

The cheeky fuckers.

Makes a mockery of the church imo.

I wish I could tell the grandma but my Swedish is very non existant rusty!

So basically the christening was just an excuse to get presents from a permitted list?

What selfish, grasping friends you have OP.

That's not very christian is it?

Or were they hoping Hello magazine would turn up and pap them on their special day? Well they do seem quite deluded as to the nature of the event which is why I ask?

I'm a secularist but this isn't even to do with religion, it's basic manners.

That´s a lovely book.

bugger

My DH is very very atheist in the Richard Dawkins mode, and feels very strongly that DS not be preached to or indoctrinated with religion.

(Surprisingly, we didn't get him Christened)

But even he would never in a million million years return a religious gift like that. It's incredibly rude. And yes, incredibly hypocritical as well.

I'd be very tempted to return it with a note explaining that as they'd promised in a church to bring their child up Christian, they should read them the stories or else acknowledge that they're public liars. Bah. This makes me annoyed.

We received a truly hideous "prayer bear" from one of my mother's employees when our DS was born -- if you squeeze it, it says a prayer in a cheesy American accent. We've hidden it away somewhere, but we would NEVER have returned it, and have even sent a (hypocritical) thank you note.

How INCREDIBLY rude to return a present, even if it's horrible or offends your atheist sensibilities!!!

Has anybody else ever had a present returned for any reason? Am I right in thinking that its never ever appropriate.

I am jewish but if someone gave my child a book of new testament bible stories, I'd just think, oh maybe they didn't think it was inappropriate I'd write a thank you letter and I'd pass it on to someone else?

Clearly they did not want a christening just a party.
Stupid people, YANBU

How rude, grasping and hypocritical of your "friends".

And sadly ignorant. As a rampant atheist, I have the King James Bible and the Book of Common Prayer. They're cornerstones of Western thought, and their language is everywhere.

You gift was a lovely and thoughtful.

Matthew 23-27 for them - "whited sepulchers" a lovely image of outward virtue. :o

I suspect they were rather hoping for outfits and winnie the pooh photo frames for gifts rther than anything actually to do with Christenings

I reckon the DW pressurised the DH into going along with the christening, and now he's throwing his toys out of the pram about it.

But yes, gobsmackingly rude - could they not just have given the book to a charity shop?

I have never returned a present and have never had a present returned to me. It is the HEIGHT of rudeness. Unbelievable.

And the fact she had no qualms about clarifying the situation over the phone with seemingly no embarrassment, is mind-boggling.

We've all had crap presents at some time or another. You smile nicely, put it in a drawer for at least 12 months, and then give it to a charity shop.

Did they actually have a present list?

This makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE AT ALL. Why the fuck (almost wrote 'hell' but decided in the circumstances it was inappropriate lol) have a Christening and then not accept a very appropriate gift? Completely bizarre. It's not even as if there isn't an alternative. If they were so unreligious that having a book of Bible stories in their house is that bad, they should've had a naming day or a dedication day etc. That would've been the end of my raging on it, had you not then said they both really wanted a Christening. WTF?!?!. Baby items are not meant for a Christening (although the mere mention of them make me think this couple are scroungers who will do anything to get freebies presents. But still, doesn't explain why the ceremony had to be religious. Or why the father is such a twat that he can't read their DD a Bible story. What a cock child he is himself.

I would never again buy a present for this family. It's sad that their DD will miss out on your generosity (both on this occasion and others) but I don't see how, in good conscience, you could possibly feed this family's greed.

Sorry if that all sounds harsh, it's all just very fucking weird.

Oh, and I just read the synopsis of this story to my baby's father who has just popped in, in the middle of me typing this. His only response? "What the fuck?!". Enough said.

That's unbelievable!

Keep it for your own DD's.

I'm suprised that she didn't keep it and say nothing rather than highlight her own hypocrisy.

Or alternatively you could post it to my DD's, it sounds lovely!

For what it is worth, I think it is extremely rude to do anything other than say thank you nicely to anyone who has been thoughtful enough to give you a present (provided, obviously, that the intention of the present was kindly meant, as yours clearly was).

In your position I wouldn't say anything more, but I certainly wouldn't be buying any more presents, either!

Thanks for that link Professor - I wish I had the guts to buy that book for my SILs 40th birthday. She is well known for returning gifts and basically being an ungrateful cow.

It was my DN birthday on Sat, DS picked out a fab present for him (they are the same age). The day after my SIL texted me to say thanx for DN present, where did we get it from so they can swap it?!

Yeah this story actually has more than one aspect to it.

1. Is it okay to have a Christening when you are actively not a Christian?

2. What kind of gifts are appropriate/to be expected at a Christening?

3. How much of a hypocrite does it make you that you are desperate to have a Christening but can't bear to have a Bible stories book in your house?

4. How rude is it to return a very lovely gift?

This is a shockingly stupid, rude and hypocritical couple. I presume they do not celebrate Christmas?

I hope they stumble across this thread one day....

OP, in case my opinion was not obvious (!), YADNBU :).

LouMacca - send the book anonymously. I remember hearing of someone else doing something similar....if I can find the story online, I'll link it.

She sounds like a tactless, grabby, hypocritical cow. You want me to tell her, from you? :o

I have a lovely Texas accent. It came make insults sound complimentary . 'My, how terribly rude! I hope God was out having coffee or something.'