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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother-in-law's 34 year old cot mattress...would you?

70 replies

Sus76 · 05/08/2010 23:31

Hi, We're going to MIL's next weekend. She went to a great deal of effort to dust off my husbands cot from when he was a baby for us to use. Problem is I had thought she would have bought a new mattress but she hasn't. Am I being over cautious to not want to put my baby down on something that's been in an attic for 33 years? DS is 6 months now...Opinions appreciated!

OP posts:
PricklyThistle · 05/08/2010 23:34

YANBU. Explain nicely to MIL, thank her for effort - but no. New mattress or travel cot.

Minxie1977 · 05/08/2010 23:35

No way! Dust, mould, yuck. Bless her though - very kind gesture

maktaitai · 05/08/2010 23:35

OK for me, the only two things I would buy new are cot mattress and car seat.

However, when given a cot mattress from 1961 on its 6th baby, I just said 'thank you very much' and then dumped it.

milliemoosmum · 05/08/2010 23:35

Has she made any attempt to clean it? I'm sure you're baby would be fine on it. t 6 months old he's over the riskiest time of his life. However - I wouldn't personally want to use it. Would it cause massive offence to take a travel cot? Maybe say he's difficult to settle and he's been sleeping well in it or something? x

Pisces · 05/08/2010 23:35

YANBU.

Why not just buy a new one. Would she even know if you did? It will be covered with bedding most of the time anyway.

maktaitai · 05/08/2010 23:36

Oh sorry, I missed the point completely! OK... well.... I think I would take my own mattress and ask if she would mind if you change it over.

kalo12 · 05/08/2010 23:36

who would keep a cot mattress for 34 years. i would tell her that cot mattress must not be more than two years old by law

LyraSilvertongue · 05/08/2010 23:37

Use the cot but get a new mattress. God knows what could be in an old mattress that's been in a loft all those years. I wouldn't put one on my bed so definitely not a small baby's bed.

Pisces · 05/08/2010 23:37

Just realised, you are going to use it in her house, so maybe taking a new matress is not the answer...

ravenAK · 05/08/2010 23:37

Probably not - dustmites, moths, etc.

But then I'm a wheezy allergy prone type (ds has inherited it), & as a child my grandma's 40 year old goosedown pillows used to guarantee a night of misery.

Just take a new mattress along - you can always make up a friend who got given two in a babylist misunderstanding, so you've taken the spare one off her hands...

sheepgomeep · 05/08/2010 23:38

no way from me too.. travel cot definetely way to go or she buys a new mattress.

Will your mil feelings be hurt if you say no to the manky mattress?

AlisonDubois · 05/08/2010 23:38

No Way! Take a travel cot or moses basket. Anything but this ancient matress. Have him sleep in bed with you?

Saucepanman · 05/08/2010 23:39

YANBU. That is all.

milliemoosmum · 05/08/2010 23:39

If you take your own mattress be sure to make sure the cot is the same size! x

Monty100 · 05/08/2010 23:41

Su - I definitely would not.
I don't want to scaremonger or anything but please don't.

FSID advice on mattresses here

LyraSilvertongue · 05/08/2010 23:41

I missed the point too. If it's just for a night or two maybe you could take a mattress protector to put over it as a barrier between the baby and the manly old mattress.

Original poster
Sus76 · 05/08/2010 23:43

Thanks all- just needed a bit of reassurance as husband overly worried about offending her. Think the travel cot with the 'he's been sleeping well in it' might be the way forward! Her eyesights not too great though so maybe I can sneak our mattress in behind my back..!

OP posts:
edam · 05/08/2010 23:44

NO definitely not. See Monty's link.

nasdaq · 05/08/2010 23:44

Just tell her you have been advised that you have to have a new mattress and take your own. You will not get a wink of sleep otherwise.

MmeLindt · 05/08/2010 23:46

Absolutely not. I had also heard about the link to cot death and this was one thing that I insisted on when visiting parents/Inlaws.

And since it is scientifically proven, you have a good excuse which will not offend her.

Noellefielding · 05/08/2010 23:47

no no no no no no no no no no

ravenAK · 05/08/2010 23:47

Honestly, just breeze in with a nice new Mothercare mattress, & a convoluted tale about your mate whose mum bought her a cot, but she didn't realise her mum had asked Auntie Gladys to get the mattress, so she told her SIL she was just being given a cot but still needed a mattress, & isn't it lucky, she ended up with a spare, so you got given this spanking new mattress for free...

...& have it all made up, with nice bedding, looking beautiful asap.

Lay it on thick re: how marvellous it is for dc to sleep in daddy's old cot, & take photographs.

wonka · 05/08/2010 23:48

Get hubby to breach the new matress thing (bring a new one) and just be super lovely about the old cot!

HerBeatitude · 05/08/2010 23:48

Sus, take the SIDS leaflet with you just in case.

Your DH probably doesn't realise just how dangerous it might be to use an old mattress, once he does he'll be less worried about offending his mother and more worried about the safety of your baby.

The reason I say to take the leaflet, is because if she's anything like as mad as my relatives, she will want you to try out the mattress anyway, irrespective of how well your baby has been sleeping in the other place.

Honestly, who keeps a bloody mattress for 33 years anyway? Some people's loft space is just too big...

HerBeatitude · 05/08/2010 23:51

Sorry mean take the leaflet to show her, so she knows you're not just making it up.

Personally I would tell her beforehand so that she has time to get used to the idea that you're not going to use the mattress - less chance of causing offence/ disappointment then? Don't know, obv. you know your MIL better.