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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mother-in-law's 34 year old cot mattress...would you?

70 replies

Sus76 · 05/08/2010 23:31

Hi, We're going to MIL's next weekend. She went to a great deal of effort to dust off my husbands cot from when he was a baby for us to use. Problem is I had thought she would have bought a new mattress but she hasn't. Am I being over cautious to not want to put my baby down on something that's been in an attic for 33 years? DS is 6 months now...Opinions appreciated!

OP posts:

PosieParker · 06/08/2010 09:08

Lead paint and dusty mattress, no way!!!

gagamama · 06/08/2010 09:20

No way. I'm pretty laid-back about germs etc, but 33-year-old mould spores from the loft are only ever going to be bad news. When my mum chucked away my cot mattress it looked pretty sorry for itself - disintegrating, discoloured and dusty. And it must have only been about 15 years old at the time. So it would be an absolute no from me.

FreddoBaggyMac · 06/08/2010 09:21

Personally I think the cot itself will be fine - your DH managed to survive sleeping in it without slipping through the bars or being poisoned by the paint didn't he? So a few nights in it are not going to harm your DS! I would bring your matress from home and just explain to her that old matresses are not recommended these days. She probably has no idea about these guidelines and I'm sure the last thing she would want to do is pose any kind of threat to her grandson.
I think some of the postings on here are very harsh towards your MIL to be honest! She has made the effort to get the cot out for you which is lovely, and just think about the memories it must have brought back for her getting it out of the loft and setting it all up... I bet there were a few tears in her eyes!

ragged · 06/08/2010 09:27

I would probably use the mattress if it's just a brief visit. But then I have no standards .
Dust mites or mold in old one, arsenic and fire retardent chemicals wafting out of brand new one, not a lot in it, imho.

FreddoBaggyMac · 06/08/2010 09:32

Good point ragged I'm sure when we have grandchildren the 'guidelines' will all have insisted we go back to our roots completely, and new babies will have, by law, to sleep on a bed of freshly picked organic grass and leaves...

GeekOfTheWeek · 06/08/2010 09:44

No way would i use the mattress.

There is evidence to suggest that bacteria inside old mattresses cause cot death.

edwardcullensotherwoman · 06/08/2010 09:45

Why not take your ds's mattress from homw, and say you think he'll settle better on a familiar mattress, as he's in a different place then no costs, and no offense (your MIL would have to be extremely sensitive if she was offended by a baby's ability to settle!) but definitely don't use the old one. If you can't take yours, you could get a cheap mattress from Ikea as someone pointed out. These are fine - I bought the foam one which was the cheapest of all for ds and he slept on it for 2 years!

edwardcullensotherwoman · 06/08/2010 09:46

home even

HerBeatitude · 06/08/2010 09:48

I don't think anyone's been harsh about the MIL.

We're just saying that the safety of a baby takes priority over any potential hurt feelings of an adult.

Viz the cot, it really depends on how old it is if it is safe. Lead in paint was phased out eons ago so unless your DH is really old, there's very little chance of there being lead in the paint. Also the regs about bar width etc. have been in place for quite some time. How old is the cot anyway? You could google regulations if you knew exactly how old it is and then if anything has changed since then, you'd know not to use it.

I was thinking last night, who the hell keeps mattresses for 30 years anayway? Some people have too much space in their houses!

thedogwalker · 06/08/2010 09:54

Oh the thought of sleeping on a 33 year old mattress, the bugs that must be living in that now and the ones that have died in it over the years. NO NO NO, you are most certainly not being unreasonable.

I agree with Monty27. look at the evidence and let your MIL know that the cot is a wonderful gesture but the mattress is a no no, no matter how well she thinks she has preserved it.

Good luck

noblegiraffe · 06/08/2010 09:57

Why would the MIL's feelings be hurt? Just say old mattresses cause cot death...presumably she doesn't want to endanger the baby.

I wouldn't just turn up with a mattress, how would you know it's the right size?

FreddoBaggyMac · 06/08/2010 10:00

The thing is though I bet the MIL would agree that the baby's safety takes priority! She has tried to do something nice after all, I think her main aim in getting the cot out would have been to be helpful and not to cause distress and worry to anyone. It just seems a bit unfair that such a lovely memorable gesture is overshadowed and she gets dismissed on mumsnet as being a silly kind of person who would keep junk in her loft for 30 years...

Morloth · 06/08/2010 10:02

MN hates MILs, I sooooo hope it is still around in 20/30 years when all the posters are MILs, I bet the tone would change then.

FreddoBaggyMac · 06/08/2010 10:08

That's what I'm thinking Morloth! I'm just imagining myself in 30 years time getting the cot out of the loft for my DS's baby... I think I'd be in floods of tears over it! And I don't think I'd be at all bothered if my daughter-in-law brought her own matress (in fact would be happy that she was obviously looking after my granchild so well!)

Fibilou · 06/08/2010 10:13

she probably wouldn't be in the slightest offended if you took a new mattress - I know if my MIL still had DHs cot she wouldn't give two hoots if I said "I don't really want to use the old mattress so I've bought a new one". You MIL probably doesn't know all the SIDS stuff - why would she ?

I think you're anticipating offence that probably won't be taken

pigletmania · 06/08/2010 10:17

YANBU at all, its a safety issue, mould and dust particles, plus it does not meet current safety regs, I would not. Just smile sweetly, accept the cot and matress, put matress in the dump and and get brand new one simple

HerBeatitude · 06/08/2010 11:58

Oh Freddo I'm not dismissing her as a silly old bat.

I think anyone who keeps junk for 30 years is mad. Not just MILs. But then, I used to watch Life Laundry, so am a bit biassed.

FreddoBaggyMac · 06/08/2010 12:52

Fair enough HerBeatitude - and I wish you'd come round and sort out our loft

ilovemountains · 06/08/2010 13:09

There isn't actually any evidence proving a link between reusing clean mattresses and SIDS, here:

www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/Second-Hand-Mattress-Use.pdf

Having said that, I would not use a 33-year-old one!

OrmRenewed · 06/08/2010 13:13

I think the cot is fine. Ours came from car boot for £5 and was very similar to the one I remember having as a child. But I think a new cot mattress is a good idea. Probably not essential but not worth the risk.

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