Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Mother-in-law's 34 year old cot mattress...would you?

70 replies

Sus76 · 05/08/2010 23:31

Hi, We're going to MIL's next weekend. She went to a great deal of effort to dust off my husbands cot from when he was a baby for us to use. Problem is I had thought she would have bought a new mattress but she hasn't. Am I being over cautious to not want to put my baby down on something that's been in an attic for 33 years? DS is 6 months now...Opinions appreciated!

OP posts:

MmeLindt · 05/08/2010 23:53

Don't tie yourself up in lies or excuses.

You were a bit worried about the mattress and checked online, and came across the info that it was dangerous.

Get your DH to have a word with your MIL beforehand, in a "Thank goodness we checked, but what a shame that we cannot use the old one, still - safety of the baby is more important that sentiment about him sleeping in the same bed as his Daddy..."

princesspuds · 05/08/2010 23:56

Its not just the mattress issue, if I remember correctly, older cots were deemed as quite dangerous because of the paint as it contained lead which posed a health risk if baby chewed on the rails, unless it has all been stripped down then I wouldn't use it at all......Sorry

MonarchoftheGarioch · 06/08/2010 00:12

princess, I was going to say the same thing - I'd also be worried about whether it met modern safety regulations re things like distance between the cot bars, how close fitting the mattress (even a new one) would be, whether it's got those old-fashioned catches on it...

Don't worry about sounding paranoid (you're entitled to be ), it's just not worth the risk, however small, just for the sake of being polite.

SpeedyGonzalez · 06/08/2010 00:20

God no. That mattress is almost as old as me. Think of what's living inside it now. Shudder.

People really shouldn't take this sort of thing personally, but some of them do. You're not rejecting her, you're rejecting a mattress.

Firawla · 06/08/2010 01:09

I doubt the mil would be offended about the matress thing, it would still be the same cot, just a new mattress, she cant be that unreasonable to insist on such an old matress, she probably just hasn't thought/realised about this point

RobynLou · 06/08/2010 01:17

distance between cot bars? old fashioned latches? DD spent 18m in a cot my grandfather made, she's the 10th baby to have used it, we got a new mattress but I didn't even stop to think the cot itself might not be safe... oh dear.

BertieBotts · 06/08/2010 03:52

Ikea do cot size mattresses for £20. Don't get one from Mothercare, they are a ridiculous price!

For the sake of £20 though I would take the new mattress.

thumbwitch · 06/08/2010 04:54

No I wouldn't use it. The chances of it being full of mould spores are too great and even if breathing in mould doesn't contribute to immediate breathing problems, it could later on.

notagrannyyet · 06/08/2010 06:03

Well I wouldn't use the mattress. I would also as pp says check the safety regulations for cots as regards to distance between the bars etc. On old cots there used to be an horizontal gap between the bars and the cot base that isn't allowed now.

I bought my first cot 30 years ago for my DS1 and 'new ' cot saftey regs had just been brought in. I used the cot for all 6 of my DC, but I bought at least 3 new mattresses.

I have kept the old cot too, and the old coach built pram......loads of stuff in the attic. If it is possible to buy a mattress to fit I would offer the cot for visits, but if GC's parents would sooner use a travel cot I would understand.

The christening robe, blankets, wooden puzzles and other stuff will be fine I'm sure .

notagrannyyet · 06/08/2010 06:09

I'm sure your MIL won't be too upset.

It is a bit worrying for 1st time grannies to be! I've got lots of old knitting patterns. Are knitted blankets and little jackets still OK!

prozacfairy · 06/08/2010 06:34

It was a lovely gesture by her and I hope you tell her so, but YANBU. It's not a great idea to use it. With all due respect no matter how much she cleans it it still wont be "clean" IYSWIM. Dust mites, bit of mould maybe and if it's anything like my loft, smelling of damp etc.

I'd say thank you very much but you'd prefer DS to sleep in a travel cot.

gtamom · 06/08/2010 06:46

Bring thick plastic mattress cover, the kind for allergies that completely covers the mattress. Dust and mold are proven causes of SIDS.
But would be best if your husband phones her up and says he he mentioned it to so and so, and they told him about the SIDS connection, so he googled it, and it just not healthy, sadly, it is just to old.

AllarmBells · 06/08/2010 06:51

YANBU
Some of my family did a similar thing with a 35 year old pram. They said it was "fine apart from sometimes it collapses suddenly"

The best thing was, they wanted me to pay for it!!! We politely declined.

DP also has a family member one who got offended when pregnant SIL wouldn't eat quiche or have "just one" glass of wine. The idea that what you are supposed to do has changed since she had her babies 20 years ago was really offensive to her for some reason.

(My favourite on this theme was when I was pg, my then 65-year-old dad said, "Now. Have you been toughening up your nipples to prepare for breast feeding?" :) ]

Stand your ground. Hopefully your MIL won't be too upset. She will have to get used to the fact that things will be done the modern way, not the way she did them. If this has only come up at this stage, ie you got through pregnancy and birth without too many bizarre recommendations, sounds as though she's pretty sensible and is just being helpful.

WidowWadman · 06/08/2010 07:10

"DP also has a family member one who got offended when pregnant SIL wouldn't eat quiche or have "just one" glass of wine. The idea that what you are supposed to do has changed since she had her babies 20 years ago was really offensive to her for some reason."

Weird, in 2008 my midwife found it totally ok if I had a glass of wine or a quiche from time to time. Never ever heard that pregnant women mustn't eat quiche before.

LadyintheRadiator · 06/08/2010 07:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notagrannyyet · 06/08/2010 07:21

Quiche is OK surely. The egg is cooked.

mathanxiety · 06/08/2010 07:24

I thought it was just real men who couldn't eat quiche?

I would worry not just about the mattress but also about the cot, specifically what sort of paint or varnish it might have. If it's chipping or flaking at all, I wouldn't use it. Actually, without testing the paint or varnish for lead, I would be inclined to decline.

AllarmBells · 06/08/2010 07:37

Ooh quiche is apparently back!!
Well DD is 5 and DP's DN is 4, so 5-6 years ago, we were told to avoid quiche and other cooked-egg type things (egg custards etc.)

Wow...now it is my turn to accept graciously that "it was done differently in my day" :)

MmeLindt · 06/08/2010 08:02

Oh, recommendations change all the time, who can keep up?

Quiche is fine as long as it is cooked thoroughly, and you would know if it were not.

It is a real problem in a lot of families, as the older generation often insist "It did not do us any harm", not realising that sometimes it did, they just did not realise what caused the problem.

PinkyMe · 06/08/2010 08:11

The problem is it may look clean on the surface and be mouldy inside. Although your baby will only be on it for a few nights, it will be 12 hours of breathing in what's inside the matreess.

When my dd was little, I had one of those opaque bath mats. I would clean the bath but never thought to lift the mat up and check underneath (stupid I know). My dd very quickly got ill. She was covered in hives so bad I ended up in A&E at our HV's request. We realised it was being caused by the mould that had gathered under the bath mat. I've never felt so guilty or so stupid before.

So no I wouldn't. But I do think it's a bit unreasonable to expect her to buy the mattress. My hubby and I ordered one online for both sets of Grandparents. Just go for something cheap as you won't be using it as often.

ILovePlayingDarts · 06/08/2010 08:44

I am definitely going to say don't use the old mattress.

When I was a teenager, my dad was given a single bed mattress that had been stored in someone's loft and had supposedly been hardly used. Dad put it on my bed, and I ended up sleeping in the spare room that night because the mattress stank, and on opening it up the next day it was full of mould.

I ended up with a respiratory illness that lasted a few days. Admittedly it was mild, but then I was a teenager. For a baby it could be worse.

Morloth · 06/08/2010 08:58

It would probably be fine, but just rock up with a new mattress.

Be a bit self deprecating about it if you think it will make her feel better. Like "I know it is silly but it just makes me feel better".

I am going against advice and using the same mattress for DS2 as I did for DS1, he seems to love that it has been pre"sweet spotted".

Megatron · 06/08/2010 09:02

Not a chance. There could have been anything in that loft!

MumNWLondon · 06/08/2010 09:03

No way. Esp if its been in an attic.

My DD did sleep in my old cot but my mum had bought a new mattress five years earlier for DNiece and it hadn't been used much, and hadn't been in attic again. She ordered a new one from:

babymattressesonline.co.uk/welcome.html

I wasn't particularly happy about the cot either. It was mine, my dads and was bought new for my grandma in 1920! Luckily now has been dumped (as parents downsized) and they have a travel cot!

Morloth · 06/08/2010 09:07

The really old cots I have encountered have looked a lot safer and more solid than the new ones TBH. Mum has one at her place that was used for me and my siblings and has been used for all the GKs (and great GKs) it is some sort of hard wood and the side doesn't drop down (which is a bitch on your back), she does replace the mattress though if it has been around a while between kids - mostly I suspect because they look a bit ratty after a bit.

Flip

1 2 3