Witnessing abuse of children

[PosieParker]

I've been reading a fair few threads recently about adults who witness parents being vile to children and do nothing about it. I have on a number of occasions phoned the police when children/babies don't have car seats, reported a woman who smacked, what looked like, her granddaughter and shoved here in a van with no seats, confronted a woman that threatened to smack her dds face (she was uber rough and the little girl was about six) she also threatened the little girl with her father when she got home, the list goes on. I have never been hit although threatened.

Am I unreasonable to think it's just me who speaks out?

"Fibilou, sorry its not child abuse"

I didn't say it was. I said it was neglect. I know the difference between the twe and am well aware of the legal defition of neglect under the CAYP. In this case I am speaking as a member of the public, not with my work hat on

thanks MORRIS

exactly. thanks!

Wow....

Well not having a car seat is a particular 'thing' of mine, along with smoking in cars. And I can't think why with my hands free phone, voice controlled, I would give the police a quick call when I witness two tiny babies on knees in the back seat, babies on laps in the front, kids jumping around and standing in between front seats. One of my school friends was killed going through a windscreen, although I'm too old for car seats, the car did have seat belts (it was the same car as mine, but in red.....her name was Karen). There's really no excuse for no seat belt/car seat for children. And it's not always because they can't afford it, sometimes it's very expensive cars.

For all saying that I shouldn't interfere I am stunned that people assume I wouldn't know what proper nasty parenting is and a good parent having a bad day.

I'm not meaning this sarcastically Posie, but how can you tell the difference between nasty shit parenting and a good parent having a bad day?

I don't think it's abuse to not have a car seat, 'abuse' is a very emotive term. It is exceedingly dimwitted parenting though.

And yes probably not the best examples.

I did help a very middle class man at te supermarket the other day too. His tiny baby was screaming and so I asj=ked if I could help, he said no and struggled on. But his baby had tears and was still screaming ten minutes later and so I insisted, he let me hold and comfort the baby whilst he did his shop. He looked so relieved and my nerves were rested.

So there's good interfering too.

So you report non-usage of car seats to the local police? Presumably on the non-emergency number?

I do see this an awful lot... but how would you prove that this is the way they normally travel rather than just an emergency?

If you think you are seeing child abuse that frequently then the problem is with you.

Also, knowing a child is being abused or at risk means knowing something about their everyday circumstances.

Regularly reporting things you see in passing means you are a bit crazy.

You insisted on holding a dads baby because it was crying? It might just be me but I find that intrusive and a bit odd.

Usually the hatred in the voice. I'm a shouty parent sometimes, I have four dcs it helps to raise your voice above them at times....

But the grabbing of the scruff of the neck and pulling in very tight, scary tight, and telling a child they're going to get it when the father got home is quite enough. And the social awareness, most of us even on our worst days would appease onlookers. Besides the woman in the shop had already spoken to her dd like absolute shit when she'd done nothing and when she got the blame for the little boy falling over, I coudn't help myself.

Riven going to hospital in the middle of the night is a rather extreme example.

I agree Riven, would be nice to have a hand, but only if you wanted and accepted it, which when the bloke said no ta, he didn't.

The Dad was out of his mind trying to avoid looking at the baby, who was about 4 months, and I thought he could do with a hand. Instead of posting about some idiot of a Dad letting a tiny baby scream. I thought he looked shattered.

He was very very grateful.

His fist no was rather weak and polite, not definitely don't need help.....I am not a fucking sociopath who can't read body language., And I would have been delighted if people had helped me with my refluxy babies instead of tutting.

What's your point? My mother was raised by a step father who she loved dearly and was wonderful. I think in this situation it made me feel more worried.

I think your last post says quite a lot as you've made a lot of assumptions in it.

He was trying to avoid looking at the baby (or he could have been trying to shop), you thought he could do with a hand, you thought he looked shattered, and thought he was grateful.

The bloke said no, but you thought you knew better than him and insisted you were right and that he should accept your help.

A lot of it is down to your interpretation, which may not always be spot on.