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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel a bit pissed off with my boss and work colleagues

57 replies

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 11:27

OK, so today is my last day in the office before my maternity leave and half an hour ago my boss walked out and said "am off out, won't be back before you go so see you around".

Urhm, OK then.

Yes I am part time, but have been with the company for well over 5 years, yes it is my second baby but you know perhaps a card would have been nice! Instead I am just going to close down my computer and go home at lunch time.

This happened with my last pg, another girl was pg at the same time - my boss (different) forgot I was leaving so didn't organise anything, I did get a card but there we go - no flowers post baby nothing, the other girl got a new mattress for the cot, leaving drinks and a changing bag with some vouchers. She has just gone on mat leave and we all had to sign a card and give money for a present for her.

Obviously I am not that popular, or my dept are a bit mean - would like to point out that other girl is also part time!

Feel a bit miffed really but am sure it is just pg hormones but would have been nice to have been a bit more acknowledged or perhaps I just have a self inflated opinion!

OP posts:

swanandduck · 26/07/2010 11:35

Well, I think a card and cakes or going out for lunch would have been nice. Presents and leaving drinks are a bit ott if you're going back after Mat leave. But YANBU, they should acknowledge the occasion.

Kathyjelly · 26/07/2010 11:36

I can understand how you feel but some departments are just not like that. Do you have lots of men in the team? I'm just envious that you're going on mat leave a 2nd time. My company got rid of me for daring to do it once.

Congratulations btw

Original poster

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 11:41

Yes all male orientated - just pissed off as so far this year I have had to contribute to:

1 x 60th bday
1 x 50th bday
1 x retirement present
3 x mat leave present (for other girls!)
2 x wedding presents

Have had to find extra childcare to attend leaving do's. And didn't even get a poxy card or a good luck hug!

I wasn't expecting great presents or anything but would have been nice to have been acknowledged! Especially as v family orientated company throughout other departments!

OP posts:

arsesandoldlace · 26/07/2010 11:46

YANBU - what a bunch of mean sods! At least you won't have to see them for a while.

Are they miserable gits in other respects?

Zoonose · 26/07/2010 11:48

YANBU. Not to have a card? I would feel upset by that. When I went on my second maternity leave in March this year my team got a card for me but not gifts. With my maternity leave for my first they were very generous with presents as well as a card but I would have felt it was too much for them to do that again (DS was born in 2008 and DD in 2010) and was much happier just to have the good wishes - but you should at least have those! I can understand how you must be feeling. Enjoy your maternity leave!

dexifehatz · 26/07/2010 11:50

you are not being unreasonable at all!!!are you really considering going back?!what a bunch of tight wad twats!look for another job if you have to go back to work and leave them in big doodoo.

Original poster

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 11:51

A bit grumpy the lot of them! But I guess I should be grateful that I still have a job and the perks that go with it, SMP and a job to come back to if I feel so inclined. But still a card would have been nice (especially as one of the secretaries cornered me this morning to ask me for yet more money for someone else! Honestly they don't pay me enough to keep putting in more and more money - thank goodness I am off on mat leave!)

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 26/07/2010 11:53

oops wouldn't have occurred to me to do anything bar say "good luck etc" to someone leaving on maternity leave.
Well now I know for future reference.
It does seem a bit off though if they got others presents (or are they different departments?)

bumpybecky · 26/07/2010 11:54

YABU to feel miffed - I'd be furious!

make sure you take a visit to the stationary cupboard before you go

bearcrumble · 26/07/2010 11:55

What should she do in the stationery cupboard?

CaptainKirksNipples · 26/07/2010 11:58

See, when I was leaving my last place I made a huge deal of counting down the days to leave the shit hole! No one could have forgotten or not realised

eg. This is the last time I'll have phone that idiot on a Monday morning to place an order won't be here next week / Wow I won't have to pull x up on being late with a delivery any more / Last time I need to claim expenses at the end of the month! yippee!

It really worked...

bumpybecky · 26/07/2010 11:58

well I'd 'borrow' some envelopes, biros, notepads etc etc

it would cheer me up! [sad stationary fetishist]

seriously though, not even a card is mean and thoughtless of them, especially given the collections and presents for other people. Still at least it gives the OP a good excuse to not contribute in the future. Being charitable, perhaps her colleagues will give a card when the baby arrives...

Original poster

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 11:59

Am currently putting all my personal post through the franking machine [evil cackle emoticon]

MayorQuimby - I was expecting more from my boss tbh, who wants me to use some contacts to help out his ds! But all I have had from other colleagues going in and out is see you later like we usually say to each other.

Yes, all different departments but we aren't a huge company so all know each other, it wouldn't be a departmental thing either it would be a whole of company thing but have to be organised by the boss of my dept.

Also my director is a new dad of no 3 and we had to contribute for a present for him and his wife!

It is just the difference between my treatment and everyone elses that pisses me off. Oh well, only 45 more minutes to go and am on MN so not doing any actual work!

OP posts:

Rockbird · 26/07/2010 12:00

I'd be furious. My lot are great and went to town with a leaving do for me which was lovely and unexpected but expected IYSWIM. I would have been really upset if they hadn't done anything.

What a mean, tight arsed shower you work with, especially as you said they have had lots of collections and do's this year, not like they don't ever do it.

Hope they surprise you at the last minute

Original poster

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 12:00

Would like to point out as well that actually the last words my boss said to me were "can you remember to send that email to your friend" about contacts for ds.

OP posts:

Rockbird · 26/07/2010 12:02

Aw, what a shame this pregnancy brain of yours has made you forget all about that email...

mayorquimby · 26/07/2010 12:03

yeah and even though as I said earlier I doubt I'd do anything for a colleague or staff member who was heading on mat. leave it's obviously the done thing where you work so that's a valid reason to be pissed off and feel unappreciated.
I'd never do it for some but not others.

LeninGrad · 26/07/2010 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiLand · 26/07/2010 12:05

Mean buggers.

May they all suffer with piles.

Original poster

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 12:18

No nothing when baby arrived last time. Perhaps am sensitive because have had to do so much for other people, that is what gets my goat - in the past year 3 other people have gone on maternity leave and 3 more's partners had babies and have had to contribute/ sign a card for all of them and it wasn't first time round for any of them!!!!!!! (Or first time within the company for any of them!)

Only the other woman in my department has said a proper good luck and look after yourself kind of thing which was very nice, but that was it!

OP posts:

OrmRenewed · 26/07/2010 12:29

Oh lord How horrible.

However could it be that things only get arranged if someone is a close associate of the person leaving/having a baby/passing 60 ? If Y in accounts is good mates with X, Y will make sure that a fuss is made over X when she leaves. These things really need to come from the management to be entirely fair - but that might not be the case in your company?

Original poster

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 12:33

It is probably because I don't have a close working buddy like you suggest Orm! I think that is probably why such a fuss is made over so many of the others. Will have to make some more friends if doing it again!

I think it should come from management too and thought it did but obviously not. It is odd though as this is a company where the director always sends a birthday card out to you and everyone gets an xmas present.

I think that is why I feel a bit sad about it, but only have 10 more mins and so will focus on the fact that dd and I can go and enjoy the summer from now on (before the baby arrives!)

OP posts:

swanandduck · 26/07/2010 12:35

I opened a thread recently about the multitude of collections that go on in workplaces, with people constantly being asked to donate to X's 30th birthday and Y's new baby. This is annoying enough, but when you don't even get a reciprocal gift yourself, that is very unfair. To be honest, if you go back to work there I would only give in future to major collections (someone leaving or retiring) and just ignore the other ones.

OrmRenewed · 26/07/2010 12:44

Goodness yes! Don't let it bother you at all! Look forward to your mat leave and your new baby

Original poster

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 20:01

Well I came home and went straight to bed because my boss did return in time for me to leave and his parting shot was:

"Will you be able to leave by this door as you are so large!"

I don't think I have any real desire to return to work at the moment!

OP posts:

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