To think that Denise Fergus should have stayed at home?

[2blessed2bstressed]

I don't understand why she (mum of Jamie Bulger) had to go and sit in court when John Venables was being sentenced for his more recent crime. I will never forget the horror of hearing what happened to her little boy, and I know that she will never get over it - but how can it possibly help her to keep appearing on tv and making statements about what happens now? She seems to feel she has a right to be told all about everything, and while I can sympathise with her opinion to a certain extent I don't know that she does really. I saw her being interviewed when he was arrested earlier in the year and she said she'd had to keep her children off school because of the publicity - but she seems to be generating a lot of it herself.
Please don't think me hard hearted, it's just that I don't get it.

the way that the media, and particularly the tabloids, report most of the news about big criminal trials is very unfortunate and doesn't lend itself to intelligent debate about the real issues. The boys who killed Jamie Bulger had themselves suffered terribly at the hands of dreadfully neglectful parents. There are lots of children in a similar position today, who are likely to go on to commit criminal offences (though hopefully not to the extreme extent of Thomson and Venables). its not helpful to bang on and on about how these children were 'evil". No child is born evil. Most people who commit crime have been the victims of terrible social problems themselves. The real debate should be about how to lift children out of the cycle of terrible parenting that leads them to become a danger to society in the first place.
I don't think its "news" that one of the boys has reoffended - statistically lots of people convicted of a criminal office do, and I don't think its "news" that Denise Fergus went to court - I don't think it should have got the level of attention it did - it misses the bigger issue.
However, I think that using a discussion about the serious issues raised by such a tragic case to sling mud at Denise Fergus in a public forum like this is appalling. None of us are perfect parents, and no one can hand on heart say that they have never let their child out of their sight for a second - people like Denise Fergus are just terribly unlucky. Its not appropriate, or constructive to be critical of her parenting, particularly since rumours of the type peddled by some people on this thread are almost certainly based on misinformation from people who enjoy gossiping about other people's misery.

'Shame on you'

That's a bit rich.

Or is that you knowing how it'd feel if someone made such a disgusting remark about the death of your child?

She's only repeating your own argument back to you and applying it to your children.

No, shame on you. You are the one who made the vile comment about the media deals. You know very well that that was Tfmdv's point.

No, I know someone who saw them in the same shopping centre that day. Not "might" have
DID.
Not doing anything out of the ordinary, just the usual shopping, chatting etc.

You and half of liverpool

Shame on you all.
For thinking there was only one child victim that day.

Wow.
Shopping, and - not only that - but chatting too!
Bad mother.

FallingwithStyle
No. You are wrong.
Sorry, but you are Wrong.

We're talking about your comments re Denise Fergus.

As you know...

Emmakate the child's name was James

Why do you keep saying that ?

It seems a bit weird because isn't what we have been 'discussing'

Goodnight.
May your lives always be the Black and White you seem to think that Life is.

Shame on ME? Why?

You have suggested that the money and attention she recieves makes the death of her child worthwhile.

So I am asking you how much money/attention you think it would take to make the death of a child 'ok'

Because you see, my child IS dead. NOTHING makes it ok. NOTHING compensates. Life is never the same.

Why SHAME ON ME? For what? Because you are being squeamish about me mentioning 'death' and 'your child' in the same sentence?

Don't come back anytime soon

What is wrong with you people? I am disgusted by some of the things people are posting on here from both sides of the argument.

You may not agree with each other, and I have learned in my short time on mumsnet that there is no danger of civility, but how about trying to show some humanity towards each other?

Boysarelike dogs - he is regularly referred to as "Jamie" in the press, much like "Maddie" McCann. He is referred to as "jamie" in the OP. This might be wrong - if it is those who got it wrong no doubt intend no disrespect at all - it hardly seems to be the most important issue being canvassed on this thread at the moment though!

Bed already?

But you don't have to be up for school in the morning desanimaux.

desanimaux "YES, I HAVE CHILDREN
WHEN THEY WERE TODDLERS THEY WERE ALWAYS IN SIGHT."

oh well she's a better parent than me. I lose ds2 all the time. lost him at ds1's sports day last week.

This thread has made me feel quite ill. The OP. the 'one trick pony'.

Is it helping DF ? who knows. but its her choice. you may not have done/do the same ? o.k. but really.none of us know how she feels because this case was very unique. there hasn't be many similar ones , has there. thank god.

OMG! Have caught up on this thread now, and it's vile. Stand by my earlier post about the op, VVUR, cruel and uneccessary, but subsequent postings (and the fact that MN has allowed it to continue) beggar belief. It's all very well when anonymous posters have a go at each other, and I have been on the receiving end of some particularly nasty posters' 'opinions', but at the end of the day, it's just names on a screen and nothing more. However, this thread is about a real person, a bereaved mother, whose child was abducted, tortured and murdered, and some of the views expressed on here are horrendous. Who knows if Denise Fergus will read this thread and find some cretin with 'inside information' intimating that her actions that day were a 'contributory factor' to her son's murder? If it was me, I would be taking legal action against MN for enabling such disgusting views to be aired.

Erm no hang on a minute - I grew up in a family full of drug users thieves and prostitutes.

Everything I had was stolen and the police raiding the house was a regular thing.

We lived in battered wives refuges,squats and caravans all over England.

I was brought up with the real shit,my brother is a drug addict My mother died when I was 11 I lived with my stepfather and was abused (had been since practically the date my memory began).

Im not shit.

My children are not shit.

There is no excuse.

I think mumsnetters with any intelligence see there were 'three victims that day.' they were children. Of course. You are not giving us some startling insight into the Bulger case, Desanimaux.

But denise fergus isn't on trial. Her parenting isn't up for judgement. Whatever happened on that day, she doesn't deserve to be the subject of gossip on mumsnet. She is a parent, human, fallible, just like the rest of us.

i cannot believe this thread and those sick post are still there. I d o home a paper doesn't pick up on this thread.