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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I suspect you are all going to say IABU, DH says I am

112 replies

Saltire · 18/07/2010 10:53

However, AIBU to be annoyed at this.
The photos of SIL's wedding are out, and there is one of the bride and groom holding a very long handled umbrella over themselves. She has copied all the photos from the offical photographers site onto her facebook page. Someone made a comment "oh that's big umbrella". I then commented, "not really, it just looks big because they are both small, ha ha ha" (SIL is 5ft2, new BIL is 5ft 4).

FIL has then commented "Oh I wonder what size of umbrella they would need to cover you saltire, a parachute probably"

Now, I have got annoyed at this as I read it as him saying I am so fat that i need a parachute to cover me from teh rain. DH says "well you were very rude about SIL, what do you expect".

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 18/07/2010 10:56

YANBU I would be fuming your joke has been turned back at you in a uncalled for personal attack.

Oh and DH should be sticking up for you on this.

LostArt · 18/07/2010 10:56

I think you set yourself up for that one.

Lulumaam · 18/07/2010 10:56

YABU to have made a rude comment about them and their wedding pictures, actually, that is really not kind and I although what FIL said was mean, I can see why he would be angry that you made a public rude comment about the wedding phots

you've been thoroughly irritated by the wedding and everything to do with it and should have just stepped away once it was over

Tigurr · 18/07/2010 10:57

How come it's ok for you to mock their height but not ok for someone to mock you in return?

If you can't handle it, don't dish it out

vjg13 · 18/07/2010 10:57

YABU you made a personal 'jokey' comment and got one back.

Lulumaam · 18/07/2010 10:57

i don't think a joke about someone on their wedding pics, on a public space is acceptable esepecially if the joke was covering up a rude personal comment

loopylou6 · 18/07/2010 10:57

just too add, I would also read it as him meaning you are fat - unless you're extremely tall?

Original poster
Saltire · 18/07/2010 10:57

There's another picture on his facebook profile of him at the wedding, and someone has said "oh god what an awful look on your face" and he ahs said "yes, it's because saltire walked into the room"

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 18/07/2010 10:58

Ha ha ha?
If you can't take it, then don't dish it out.
You should have posted something nice, not sniggering at the heights of two people on their special day.
I'm short. Are you fat?

Original poster
Saltire · 18/07/2010 10:59

DH would never defend me against his dad. His dad can do no wrong, I take, ooh at least 4th place, after RAF, rugby his dad and his sister

OP posts:
Original poster
Saltire · 18/07/2010 11:00

goblin - no I'm not fat, I am 6ft tall and weigh just over 10 stone.

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 18/07/2010 11:01

that comment of FIL's was nasty too

however, there is no love lost between you all, so why not keep out of it, don't say or do anything that could bring it back to your door.. just leave well alone

if they are waiting for a chance to stick the knife in, don't give them a golden opportunity

and regardless, you made horrible comments about their wedding pictures. you can't expect that to go unremarked upon

Nancy66 · 18/07/2010 11:03

Fair enough I'd say. You mocked their height and they're having a dig at your weight - even stevens

Goblinchild · 18/07/2010 11:03

So if you're not fat, why take the comment in that way?
It sounds as if this is episode 47 in an ongoing soap that I've missed.

tiredfeet · 18/07/2010 11:03

YABU, you made a horrible comment about someones wedding pictures, you picked on their personal appearance in a public way. It was never going to be taken as just a hahaha joke if there is already tension between you.

PlumBumMum · 18/07/2010 11:04

Sorry Saltaire but have to say YABU on this one, some people have big hang ups about their height so it just the same as commenting on someones weight.

thesecondcoming · 18/07/2010 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSawdust · 18/07/2010 11:05

Yabu. You were rude about a physical shortcoming (no pun intended). Short people don't like being short. Fat people don't like being fat. Nobody should be making jokes about either. But... you started it. So have the good grace to laugh it off.

GeekOfTheWeek · 18/07/2010 11:05

Its sounds like your fil hates you.

Your comments were slightly mean but imo his were worse.

Your dh really should be defending you.

SugarMousePink · 18/07/2010 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleshinyone · 18/07/2010 11:07

Your comment was brill!!

...but was maybe opening yourself up to banter... and maybe they're more sensitive about their height than you thought...or maybe FIL was being defensive of them, and ended up being a bit catty?

Are you sensitive about your weight? Is DH being protective of his family?

Sounds like a funny joke which went a bit sour because of everyone reading too much into it, I don't think it's right to say you were rude, but I can see where the problem's come up.

PlumBumMum · 18/07/2010 11:08

Xposts with loads

I think if there is history I would make sure I posted a really nice comment on the photos for all to see.

Did your dh see the grooms comment, wasit before or after yours, (does that make sense, knows nothing about facebook)

Goblinchild · 18/07/2010 11:08

'Try and rise above it.'

I won't, I shouldn't...
breeeeattthhhheee

Morloth · 18/07/2010 11:10

YABU, if you don't want someone commenting on your size then don't comment on others.

EightiesChick · 18/07/2010 11:10

This is the evil of Facebook. If people looked at wedding photos in the wedding album with the couple present, like in the olden days , then no-one would make snarky remarks about anyone.

OP, don't know the backstory but the dignified thing would be to walk away now and not comment any further. As per your FIL I would just blank him or stay out of his way whenever possible. Sounds like a git. Plus if you come so much further down the list than him to your DH then there's another issue there but not the topis of this thread so far.