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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have installed a pole dancing pole in my living room...?

401 replies

superv1xen · 17/07/2010 18:04

been having lessons for months now and decided to get one put in at home!

its amazing for fitness and so much fun, i have really toned up since doing it and i am thinking of possibly teaching it from home if i get good enough. and dp enjoys watching me practise although i reckon the novelty will probably wear off soon

my mum did a bit of a "cats bums mouth" when she first saw it though and dp darent even tell his mum i have got one! haha

OP posts:
RubberDuck · 20/07/2010 09:43

That said, I probably wouldn't have a pole dancing pole in my living room... for the same reasons I wouldn't have a Wing Chun Wooden Dummy in my living room.

And my husband rather enjoys watching me train a martial art AND gets more sex because I'm more body-confident these days. Not convinced that makes me learning Wing Chun anti-feminist though

cocopear · 20/07/2010 11:52

OP, while personally I would not want a pole dancing pole in my living room, as I do think that would look a bit, well, tacky TBH, I don't think there is anything wrong as such with you having one, if you enjoy it and its making you stronger and fitter then that can only be a good thing. And I have friends that have pole dancing lessons (at a gym I believe) and if I was more body confident and fit I would possibly join them!

To those that suggest the OP is some kind of attention seeking tart for having one (esp the one who suggested she would "deep-throat the postman - fgs ), I think that is just ridiculous, and downthread someone even implied she was a "narcissist" for having one, well I have read some hysterical guff on mumsnet in my time but that takes the biscuit

As for OP not wanting her dp to go to a club where girls dance naked in front of him, personally, I don't think the two things are relevant to eachother, if she did, say, aerobics to keep fit no one would bat an eyelid at her being against lap dancing. Anyway, AFAIK, lap dance clubs focus more on the naked dancing bit than the girls pole dancing?

midori1999 · 20/07/2010 12:08

YADNBU. It is your living room, in your house and if you want and are happy with a pole in there, then that's up to you.

I actually get quite pissed off and depressed by the amount of 'feminists' who are so convinced that women can't think for themselves or have their own opinion without them somehow being damaged or trying to please men, even if they say that is not the reason. Then is must be 'subconscious'. FFS!

cocopear · 20/07/2010 12:12

Exactly midori - you summed up what I wanted to say but a bit more articulately (is that a word )

RubberDuck · 20/07/2010 12:17

I agree with you about it being depressing, midori - because to me it harks back to the attitude of women not being capable of making their own decisions.

And for me the freedom of choice is as much having the freedom to make the wrong choice (or more accurately, the freedom to make a choice I personally wouldn't make) as anything else.

AnyFucker · 20/07/2010 12:46

ThatBloke, my apologies if I mixed you up with some other dick poster

I am not usually guilty of lumping all blokes together, but that [facepalm] was done a lot by him and it was bloody irritating

RubberDuck · 20/07/2010 12:48

AF: Facepalm is a fairly common geek internet culture thing. Surprised it hasn't leaked more onto Mumsnet tbh.

ThatBloke · 20/07/2010 13:19

No prob AF, thanks

I've never really understood the "trolling" thing, all seems a bit pointless.

Sometimes, my humour is a bit misplaced so might be mistaken for it.

RD, who you calling a geek, according to the mrs, I'm a nerd

Anyway, back on topic.

RubberDuck · 20/07/2010 13:25

I'm somewhere between geek and nerd I think...

(sorry, will stop derailing now ... or is that depoleing?)

Chiabom · 20/07/2010 13:31

Bahahaa, I approve. Keep it :D

ThatBloke · 20/07/2010 13:50

hehe RD

Perhaps we could adopt palmface, so there won't be any confusion.

No, that reminds me of that story that end with "palmed off with relish."

superv1xen · 20/07/2010 13:54

thatbloke

who were you "palmfacing" at anyway? me for having a pole or the feminist brigade for berating me for having one?

just wondering!!!

and chiabom - oh i will be keeping it alright!

OP posts:
goodlifemummy · 20/07/2010 14:04

I have one in my living room as I started doing lessons, which, incidentally have REALLY improved my poor tummy muscle, and core strength. No-one can resist having a quick swing on it as they walk past, no-one!! If I had space in my bedroom, I would have put it there instead, but I don't. I suppose it does look a bit tacky, but how else can I practise and get better? My husband thought all his Christmases had come at once - he has been sadly disappointed, I am rubbish at the whole sexy, grindy thing, but really good at the gymnastic upside-downy thing! Put one up OP, and enjoy

goodlifemummy · 20/07/2010 14:06

PS Have had to take it down temporarily as I am up the duff again, and don't think its a good idea to be over-stretching and going upside-down! Incidentally, the pole played no part in the pregnancy!!

superv1xen · 20/07/2010 16:22

goodlifemummy yes, poling and pregnancy is NOT recommended congrats though!

after your baby is born it will be fab for post baby "toning" though......

OP posts:
smallwhitecat · 20/07/2010 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ThatBloke · 20/07/2010 18:36

SuperV, my comment was aimed at your posting on a public forum a question which lots of people would find objection with, as has been pointed out by others - it was inevitable.

I would say that 99% of people who don't think it is a waltz with Lech Walesa would associate it with the sex trade.

Maybe that is wrong. Maybe in time it will become known more as a form of exercise, but right now a lot of people, including myself, consider it yet another activity which objectifies women. Sure, it empowers women, but generally using their body to a greater or lesser degree.

I don't know you & wouldn't be so forward as to suggest that you are in any way motivated by such a thing. You have stated that is not so & I accept that. Even if you were, you are free to make whatever choices you wish.

I do not post on here to deliberately provoke or offend, and I have already apologised if what I say has had that affect. I do however stand by my opinion.

For the record, I have been to two Lap/Pole Dancing clubs in the last 11 year period. I surveyed with interest what took place. The girls were only interested in talking to you if you would buy them a drink (or whatever the euphemism was) & the atmosphere was one of heightened sexual tension.

There may be clubs where all that occurs is girls on a stage, with no contact with the public, but what I saw was thinly veiled prostitution.

Sorry to go on, but I thought this might help with context.

Again, none of the above is directed at you, so please don't take offence. It's just that I think that it's hard enough to steer young girls & boys at an impressionable age towards a healthy outlook on relationships without a potentially confusing message.

And like Columbo, just one more thing. I have no desire to, but if I did visit such an establishment again, I'd most likely find my nads on toast for breakfast.

Sorry for the long post

AlaskaNebraska · 20/07/2010 18:42

surveyed with interest what took place

lo oyu old perv

MisSalLaneous · 20/07/2010 20:30

ThatBloke, I am so glad to see your post. In one of my earlier jobs I worked closely with a lot of men in a very male-dominated industry and I know what they really think of girls in lapdancing clubs. From what I've heard, your observations of these kind of places are spot on.

foureleven · 20/07/2010 20:55

ThatBloke, i am so sorry to have confused you with a horrid little man who was on here a week or so ago and introduced 'facepalm'

From your post its clear youre not him!

And great post by the way

blinder · 20/07/2010 23:52

Great post ThatBloke

Studioveena · 21/07/2010 18:56

Put up that pole and have fun!

I am a happily married mother of 4 boys. I have 3 poles up in my home...a pole outside in my back yard, one in my bed room and another set up in what was our living turned studio!!! I am the owner of the worlds largest online pole dancing website.....I have been an ACE certified personal trainer for about 9 yrs and POLE DANCE is the BEST workout I have ever done!! Pole combines Strength, cardio and flexibility and if you choose, you can get your sexy on but its not a must! I respect all forms of pole dance...ART, ATHLETIC and EXOTIC.

My kids play on my poles all the time, we have even done a dance together! My kids watch me practice some times, to them its a piece of exercise equipment...I just keep the sexy stuff for me time. Its your home...hiding the pole will only make it seem more devious than it really is!! We use CHAIRS for sexy lap dances and sexual chair routines but we don't hide all of our chairs in the house because SOME people do naughty things with them. LOL Its all about your perception. I chose not to hide what I do, there is no reason to. Pole dancing moms ROCK!

Its a pole and its not a big deal.

ThatBloke · 21/07/2010 19:05

Thanks for that foureleven, I understand the scepticism. I guess MN has been the target for some serious trolling recently.

Another forum on which I post regularly has regular effluent machismo, some of it humorous, most of it a la the aforementioned sentiment.

And yet the same people berate today's "yoof" for their behaviour & attitude. If only they could see.

foureleven · 21/07/2010 19:17

Haha thanks ThatBloke.

Please someone else have read Studioveena's post.. please???!!!!

Studioveena i am sorry, if I was your friend im sure id love you to bits but you are indeed quite bonkers!

foureleven · 21/07/2010 19:18

Please start your own thread studioveena!