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AIBU?

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Original poster

to have installed a pole dancing pole in my living room...?

401 replies

superv1xen · 17/07/2010 18:04

been having lessons for months now and decided to get one put in at home!

its amazing for fitness and so much fun, i have really toned up since doing it and i am thinking of possibly teaching it from home if i get good enough. and dp enjoys watching me practise although i reckon the novelty will probably wear off soon

my mum did a bit of a "cats bums mouth" when she first saw it though and dp darent even tell his mum i have got one! haha

OP posts:
Original poster
superv1xen · 21/07/2010 20:58

studioveena - you ROCK!!!! x

OP posts:
stars2shame · 21/07/2010 22:39

Women "use" their bodies for many things, including having babies and feeding their babies. Nobody says that because women show their breasts in a stip bar that they shouldn't show them to their children. In the victorian era, women would be considered sexually suggestive if they wore their hair down, as it was a sign of flirting to have your hair down, so all you women who do not have their hair pulled back, are you all whores who are seeking male attention? In university i learned that feminism means believing that women and men are equal and deserve equal rights period. So chinese pole is ok but women practicing the same thing is not? That is sexist, and you who think that pole dancing in the privacy of your own home is wrong are not feminists, you are sexist. And it is people like you that give women a bad name. You are probably just jealous that we are secure enough to try something new. It is not wrong to be sexy for your self or your husbands, it is not wrong to want to have people pay attention to you. It is wrong to beat your children, or hurt them, or not help the homeless person you see on your way to work, war is wrong, dont you people have something better to do then to bash a nice girl who wants to be sexy? Please stop being so closed minded. Who are you to judge, have you never done anything sexy for your man? Poor him, I bet he is at the local stip bar since you are too prudish to give him what he wants. I am educated, employeed, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a pole dancer. I have never taken off my clothes for money, never slept with anyone for money, I have never blown the mail man, or flashed my fannjo? (never heard it called that before) I feel sorry for your husbands, you are why people sterotype wives as boring and prudish and nagging.

foureleven · 21/07/2010 22:44

starstoshame that was just plain weird.

Would somebody please come back on to this thread and join me in my horror of the poledancing children and starstoshame??!!

Thats it, im starting my own thread.

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 21/07/2010 22:48

I am over her, sane and horrified!

foureleven · 21/07/2010 22:51

Oh thank god its not just me!

DuelingFanjo · 21/07/2010 22:52

Studioveena that video is ACE!

NickOfTime · 21/07/2010 22:53

dear, dear.

sorry, foure, there's no helping some people.

avoid, avoid.

larks35 · 21/07/2010 22:55

ok, other thread sent me over here and actually, I've only bothered to read first and last page and am inclined to agree with stars2shame.

foureleven, was it you who posted other thread? what is so horrifying? Haven't seen link for video, but wouldn't bother watching anyway, other people gyrating don't do it for me.

proudfoot · 21/07/2010 22:56

YANBU

I can't believe how hysterical some people are being.

Pole dancing is a legitimate form of exercise and doesn't have to be seen as some oppressive sexual act for the benefit of men fgs!

peeringintothevoid · 21/07/2010 23:07

Thanks to foureleven, I've come here and watched Studioveena's video. It's fabulous !! Great music that totally fits the video, quirky family, cute kids, skilled dancer on the pole. Hilarious - what's not to like??

ThatVikRinA22 · 21/07/2010 23:08

where is the video??

Miffster · 21/07/2010 23:15

This is ridiculous.

Are all the people frothing about the pole equally militant about belly dancing?

Just thought I'd check.

ThatVikRinA22 · 21/07/2010 23:15

ok.
am torn between being slightly horrified and thinking if it keeps you that limber after 4 kids im getting a pole installed.....

LimaCharlie · 21/07/2010 23:16
ThatVikRinA22 · 21/07/2010 23:25

ive just trained for 6 months to pass a fitness test that involves upper body strength....so im slightly in awe of anyone who can support their own body weight while hanging off a pole. i tried doing pull ups at the gym and totally embarrassed myself. nuff said.

its gymnastics at the end of the day. and im still struggling to get outraged. im more the so what? camp trying not to look ever so slightly envious of that upper body strength. it took me 6 bloody months to learn to pull 35kg....

CaptainKirksNipples · 21/07/2010 23:29

WTF! What made you think it was acceptable to post a video of your family pole dancing on youtube? There is a huge difference in doing it yourself and getting kids to do it and post on the internet, you weirdo!

BrightLightBrightLight · 21/07/2010 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LimaCharlie · 21/07/2010 23:33

Ok I watched it - its nothing like the pole dancing as we think of it.

Its a cute family doing a funny dance that just happens to involve them running round a pole.

ifancyashandy · 21/07/2010 23:38

Oh God. I cannot believe some of the people on this thread.

Stars2 Do you know what, I have 'been sexy' as you put it for a bloke. And you're right, ain't nothing wrong with it but you see (and I think this may be where we differ), I am sexy because I am ME - not because I feel the need to dress up / behave / look like anyone else or some 'fashionable' stereotype.

And nope, not jealous - got buns of steel me! . Yoga and pilates - now that'll strenghten your abs!

ThatVikRinA22 · 21/07/2010 23:44

when i was little i used to make my uncle stand with a cardboard tube insert from the centre of a carpet so i could slide down it. poles are fun. how many of you used to slide down the bannisters? if i had had access to a pole to swing about on as a child id have thought all my christmas had come at once....the video that was linked is in no way creepy or sexual. its kids swinging about on a pole. i am just not getting the whole 'lets get outraged' thing. are we going to ban bannisters now because when children slide down them its too phallic?
are we banning firemen too while we are at it? or is it ok for them to slide down poles? surely stairs would suffice and be far less titivating for the masses. actually lets go the whole hog and ban the uniforms - i mean its degrading that some women actually find these sexual. lets make them fight fires in a nice pair of slacks.
silly. yes. so is this.
why does officer and a gentlemen come so high on so many womens top film list? im sure its not for the good acting and witty script.

i think this whole thread is farce.

scanty · 21/07/2010 23:48

I'm surprised at many of the replies. Never done it (other than the ladyboy club but wasn't very good) myself but can see that many do it to keep fit, have fun and tone up. It doesn't have to be sexual if in the privacy of your own home - as someone else said it's rather like gymnastics to music and in a small space. Wouldn't have one in my living room but if you have a big room, one in a corner wouldn't be that noticeable.

MillyR · 21/07/2010 23:50

I think that pretty much everyone on this thread seems to be in agreement that pole dancing is in often perceived as a sexualised activity. Even the woman who does pole dancing with her kids has told us off for not being sexy enough for our husbands in comparison to her and her pole dancing ways, so she must think of pole dancing as sexy.

So I think it is pretty much conclusive that pole dancing has very sexualised connotations. If someone had posted a thread asking if they should put a chair in the bedroom, we would never have had this discussion because a chair clearly does not have, in the minds of most people, predominantly sexual connotations. (Also, I am quite disturbed by people making an analogy between the sexual connotations of an inanimate object like a pole and the sexual connotations of women's hair and body parts - could you objectify women any more thoroughly? My body is not an object).

So it seems hard to argue that putting a pole in your sitting room is going to make a statement to other people that you are a sexualised person who treats sex as a performance rather than a primarily sexual person. You are also passing that message on to your kids, unless you raise them in a vaccum from the rest of the world and the world's opinion.

Your choice OP. If you are not bothered about that visitors to your house will think of you in that way, then put in the pole.

MillyR · 21/07/2010 23:54

I apologise. It was not in fact the pole dancing children woman who told us off.

NickOfTime · 21/07/2010 23:57

miffster - re belly dancing. i had a really uncomfortable experience working in a very male dominated environment, where the 'entertainment' laid on for an executive lunch was two belly dancers.

so i (and two other women employees) sat whilst the two dancers gyrated to wild applause from the roomful of men. at which point the men, our colleagues, were encouraging us to get up and be part of the display. apparently it was all jolly good fun, tucking money into jiggling flesh and trying to persuade the little women to join in and be ogled. (oh, it's only a bit of harmless fun - it's very good exercise y'know)

i have a problem with men expecting women to exclusively be the semi clad gyrating entertainment, if i'm honest. i notice they hadn't booked the chippendales and volunteered to get stuck in themselves.

but whatever, it's a free world.

ItsGraceActually · 22/07/2010 00:23

Oh, I can't be arsed to read all of this thread. I'm sure somebody's already pointed out that most (all?) dances started out as expressions of sexuality & were considered lewd before gaining social acceptance. I dance Lambada. There are still plenty of people in the UK who find that inexcusably sexual. I wouldn't have a pole in my living room but, if it were my chosen exercise discipline, I'd probably want one at home. OP, I'm envious of your muscle tone!