AIBU to think some people's sense of entitlement is unbelieveable!

[Starbuck999]

Was at a friends' house for coffee arlier today. One of her friends was also there who I have met before but only on a few occasions.

Normal gossip; home, partners, kids, work etc. Friends' friend (let's call her X) says she can't believe income support is changing so that those with kids aged 7+ will no longer be excluded from having to look for work. (I know it's been lowered to the age of 10, but she's heard it's going down to the age of 7). She has a son who is 8 at the moment and she was genuinely disgusted at the thought of having to now look for work. She was saying how difficult it is to raise a child alone, clean, cook and work(she is a single parent) and how there aren't many well paid jobs at the moment, not many that fit in perfectly with school hours etc.

It annoyed me. I too am a single parent with a 6 yr old dd. I work full time and have done so since dd was 2. It IS hard work, I AM shattered, I have HAD to arrange childcare, JUGGLE my working hours and homelife etc - but I feel glad that I am working to provide for my daughter. I explained to her that it isn't easy but it is very much possible for almost everyone, exceptional circumstances omitted of course. I told her she wouldn't have to work full time, would get tax credits and help with childcare costs etc if she works just 16 hrs a week. "Well then what's the point" X then said "I'd be no better off" I didn't have the patience or the time to explain to her that the point is she would be working and not relying on benefits to pay for her and her child. That working shouldn't be an option, benefits should be there as a last resort, not an easy one.

This isn't a bash at those on benefits (been there before) or single parents (I am one) more a little whinge about the rubbish attitude of some people.

So, AIBU to think that she (with one school age child) has no reason not to work?

See, said I didn't know anyone- is an English thing.

My cousins daughter had her son at 16. Granted my cousin helped her out with childcare, but she managed to finish her GCSE's take A-levels (all the while getting up at 5am to do a part-time job at a local stables), and get herself a good job, and eventually a little rented house for her and her DS and a car.

If a 16 yo can manage it I don't think there are many that can have an excuse for that kind of attitude.

where are the good jobs now? I've applied for 20 jobs and can't even get an interview; I'm a graduate with a LOT of experience for what I'm applying for.... and I can't get an interview because about 60 other people are applying too

its a home access grant you need for a free laptop.....we got one. and free internet for a year and tech support....got a printer and laptop bag with ours

read 3/4 of the threads but not all
agree what a poster said about being finacally ridiculous as it is cheaper for the mother to stay at home and look after the child oppossed to topping up with wtc,childcare payed etc,i find it amazing how the goverment will pay large amounts for somebody else to look after the child but not its own mother or father (would of thought it was better for the child to be looked after at home)oh god thats another argument

yes im on benefit and dont see myself on it for ever,but smacks abit of push everybody to go to uni/college fat lot of good graduates probably think now

getting a little hacked of with benefit bashing on mn why is it always the claimant always seen as fair game by the tax payer,what about the self employed that cook the books and claim unlegitamte expenses,theres a few that dont pay tax either

rant over,for now.lol

wf and I managed to have a baby in the midst of fi9nals (admittedly very much older) whilst also caring for a couple of autistic kids but only becuase of the support I had around me (mainly from DH, everyone else in England)

Wouldn't have ahd a hope otherwise I suspect

Thing is, my last proper job (have had a few very PT ones since) was as an organiser for the charity Home Star6t and I got to meet these apaprently feckless parents, often broke (NOT always) dn frequrntly single and I just did not get the sense of entitlement from them at all. The mums rarely wanted to stay at home forever, they just assumed they would: didn't know where to start, no idea where to find childcare or even such basic skills as how to roganise themselves for a day of work or what clothes they should wear. The ones who ahd compeltely given up hadn't given up on working but, crucially, themselves: wwho would choose a life sat in front of JK smoking a joint and giving your child beans for their main meal every day? Only the most severely institutionalised, in my very direct experience. You need a certain amount of self esteem to think or even wonder if someone might employ you ort you could be worth paying. Others agin had really severe issues to deal with- schizophrenic or alcoholic ex partners who were a direct threat, impending homelessness.... too busy getting to tomorrow to think about next week.

But the vast majority were doing exactly what this thread suggests- working Sainsbo shifts or whatever but they looked and talked a certain way so people assumed that being a council tenant or single mum on tthe estaes meant tehy weren't doing anything.

no i do not get free school trips

yes get school clothing grant £55 every to 2 yrs (just paid non refundable school locker of £40)

yes got free laptop (think maybe this was a little generous)but would you refuse and does help children

but doubt if many could live on basic single parents money for long,i do but i have no morgage now so a huge saving and as i own have no rent top up etc.im very careful low income low outgoings and am pretty sensible.

also i dont drive so pretty big saving there i think

There are not many well paid jobs out there, but there are jobs. Loads of working people are not doing the jobs they qualified for, but are working all the same.

I am one of those.

YANBU.

she is and I bitterly resent paying massive tax to support these people.

There ARE jobs, just not ones people want to do. They were too lazy at school to get qualifications and too bloody lazy now to do the only jobs they are qualified for.

Until kids start realising that there are negative consequences to antisocial, lazy behaviour we will continue to have lazy feckless benefit scrounging wasters to support on the state.

really horntail?

I suggest you speak only of what you know in public; it may save you getting hit if you repeat what you just posted.

Horntail ..you are an idiot

Horntail to you really believe that all benefit claiments were lazy at school?

All of them?

Do you really pay massive tax to support them or do some of your taxes contribute to some of their benefits and the rest go to provide you with services?

oh and just to add the lazy,feckless single parent gets free formula/milk veg no wonder breastfeeding is at a all time low,suprised this hasnt been mentioned more amunition to through at us

and yes its a help and fully back the vouchers

I knew it was coming! Yep! They're all lazy scroungers who don't want to work all those thousands of jobs out there.

Bring back the workhouse!

I don't care what you think. I don't care if I'm being judgy. I have worked very hard for many years to support my family and I resent paying 50% tax to support people who have no interest in supporting themselves and believe it is their 'right' to receive an income via benefits.

I am not including WTC or benefits which top up a low wage, or people who cannot work because of genuine illness (their own or loved ones)

I'm critisising parents who think its their 'right' to stay at home once their kids are in school, who have never worked and never intend to. Who have enough money for cigarettes and alcohol, and Flat screen TV, but earn not one penny themselves

And if that is judgy so be it. Its my view and I have a right to hold it

If there was affordable childcare available I would say YANBU. However, the government needs to sort out childcare first and then we can talk!

No,the secondcming. I am highly intelligent.

I hold an opinion you disagree with

these things are different

i dont get it some posters say if u cant afford to support your kids you shouldnt have them and rely on benefits

and then the same people who work and keep going on about benefits etc bloody constantly moan and bitch about childcare cost etc and the gov not doing enough for them with £££££££££ and them hardly being able to afford

sureley then they shouldnt have kids either or look to the gov to subsidise their families with childcare cos you can bet they would be the first to apply

i know what i mean if it comes across jumbled

Noone likes giving money to selfish, lazy bastards whose only reason for being on benefits is that they want to screw the hard working tax payer. Horntail.

No one likes people who assume that they are in the majority and that life is really that simple.

Clearly I am not in a majority (at least on Mumsnet) Or, I am one of a number of people who feel the same but are too intimidated by the leftist majority to voice their opinion as they may be sworn at and insulted.

This does not make my opinion worthless, nor does it bother me one jot.

But the fact is if you have a couple of children, you need to earn over a certain threshold to be able to afford childcare. You also need the working hours to make it logistically possible. Both hard for a single parent. These threads make me laugh though. Never ming the people who don't want to work. There are queues of people who DO want to work, but there are no jobs.....

Horntail just wanted to say opinions like yours make people like me feel absolutely awful...

you are entitled to an opinion don't get me wrong but to lump together everyone on benefits into one category and be so horrible about them is just plain mean and tactless and makes other people feel terrible so please think in future about the way you express your opinions.