...to HATE 'misery memoirs'

[rhirhirhirirhi]

Over the past four years or so I've seen memoirs' become increasingly popular, but surely I can't be one of the only people who thinks that there is something inherently weird and creepy about revelling in these tales of woe? I think it's completely acceptable to read them as a way of supporting yourself if you've been through something similar, but I cannot begin to understand why somebody would otherwise choose to read them. The other day I was in a big Tesco and they had a BOGOF offer on them- allowing some woman to eagerly scoop up 8 (!) with names like, 'Please Daddy No' and 'Our Little Secret' and put them in her trolley.

I was speaking to a friend about this recently and she admitted that she loves them, and said that it helps her to ''appreciate her life''. Worse still, she tried to justify it by saying that many of the ones she'd read were actually fiction, so technically she wasn't really 'experiencing a real person's misery''. Fictional misery memoirs?! Good God, if I were an author writing pretend tales of child abuse I would seriously be re-evaluating my skills! AIBU to think that most people should be perfectly capable of appreciating their life without having to delve into a book detailing the horrendous life of some poor person?

agree, agree, agree but do you think a book titled My Normal Happy Childhood would sell

whether or not it did happen in Dave Pelzer's case, these things DO happen. as I said, a lot of those things happened to DH. which makes it more upsetting that people would actually make it up and sell it. it totally trivialises it.

What about fiction that deals with the Holocaust or other terrible events? Should those topics be out of bounds for writers too?

Lilyliz - Andrew Collins wrote a great book about his entirely normal and happy childhood which was a really good read, particularly for someone born in the 60s. It was called They Tuck You Up Your Mum And Dad. I think he brought it out as an antidote to all the misery memoirs.

Andrew Collins' book is actually called Where Did It All Go Right?, IIRC. Good book.

My mum reads loads of those depressing books with white covers. She had quite a miserable childhood so why she wants to read about the suffering of others I have no idea.

Haven't heard of the Andrew Collins's book but what a fantastic title! Like Stuart Maconie's Pies and Prejudice!

Where Did it All Go Right?: Growing Up Normal in the 70s on my to read list

Well I was referring to They tuck you up, your mum and Dad, but Where did it all go right? is good as well!

I mean, I do have a weakness for genre literature, at least some genres of it. Give me a mostly-black cover with a moody photoshopped silhouette of an old house on it and a title like 'Unquiet Dustbin of Doom' (they thought the old dark creaking house with the funny smell in the back garden was just the place to get over that nasty ingrown toenail incident that had nearly wrecked their marriage.. until their shoes started leaving the house in the night. Etc) and I'm happy enough. Or anything with an alcoholic detective whose taste in music represents the author's desperate attempt to be credible, and who manages to be irresistible to women despite looking and smelling like a bag of washing.

DS just came up with "Daddy used my Wooden Leg for Firewood" as a suitable candidate for the Prize

Not sure I should be encouraging him.

One of the most inspirational books I ever read (aged 11) was Christy Brown's "Down All The Days" - made into a film called "My Left Foot" starring Daniel Day-Lewis.

I guess this could be categorised as MP, but it gave me an insight into DS's father's early life (Ex-Dp, born in 1950, Dublin slum tenement)

Haven't read the whole thread, but I hope it's been mentioned that Pauline Mole (Adrian's mother) wrote a misey memoir called 'A Child Called Shit'.

Actually, when I think about it, that was quite an amusing comment for a teenage Aspie who shouldn't have a sense of humour, or get "Irony" .

Oooh Bessie, we Luurrve Adrian Mole here!

Sue Townsend Rocks! She has provided us with a wonderful Aspie role-model!

PMSL at that MrsFlittersnoop. We should start suggesting names now. Ummm...I'll get back to you.

'Please don't hit me with that brick'
or
'Granny made me join the Foreign Legion'

'Ma fed me dog food - and I was grateful'

Or: 'Married at six, first child at nine, ten children by 25, no teeth by 30'

AvrilHeytch - 'I would rather my dc encountered real porn than these memoirs'

Are you for real?!

To refer to what could be someone's real pain and suffering as 'misery porn' is shockingly awful and hard hearted

You should be ashamed of yourselves

What about

'I never felt I could speak out about the terrible abuse I suffered because people didn't want a bad taste in their mouth while they were eating their Sunday dinner'

There are just too many of them about and familiarity has bred contempt. And I don't like the way it has crept into TV shows as - to get on you seem to have to have to have had some dreadful suffering.

I am a bit addicted to the east end, midwife, community nurse type books.

They are a definate genre and have very similar covers.

Some are excellent, some are good and some are a bit rubbish. But they are all really interesting. I love modern, social history.

'I delivered 20 babies in a shed up the alley (one a bicycle).

I remember reading Where Did It All Go Right just before DS was born and going all misty eyed over it (author being around my age so lots of common points of reference).

I don't think anyone is arguing that victims of abuse should not speak out or seek help, nor that they should feel their experiences are something shameful which should be hidden. Most people on the thread are having a pop at the mass-marketed books which are always often at least semi-fictitious, badly-written bullshit. I also think that (as with other Bad Things in the world) dumb people confuse blubbering over a book or blog (coupled with, inevitably, pissing and moaning at people who see no need to read more than one of such things, if any, to understand that child abuse is an awful thing) with actually helping victims of tragedy/disaster/abuse.

It is often very therapeutic for people who have suffered to write books/stories/songs/poetry or to draw/paint pictures to express their feelings. That's a good thing. But suffering doesn't always make a person into a good writer or artist, and other people shouldn't have to be subjected to rubbish books/music/art just because the creator of it is in therapy.

SGB I have come across the attitude on other forums that if you dont like these books you are an uncaring person.

Therefore the more you read, the more you cry when you read them, the nicer you are.

I worked as a bookseller for years (Just before the rise of these books) and there were several very well written memoirs released back then which had some literary merit. The big difference between them was that they were

a. well written
b. didn't focus so much on the details of the abuse.

The problem with this new grief porn is that it's aimed at the illiterate both in the way it's written and how it is marketed and sold. It IS IMO titilation and it's not in any way written to help peope understand abuse or to free people from their own abuse. It's written to make money.

I have read some of these books, starting with the Peltzer on which my sister had on holiday. Reading it didn't make me want to rush out and buy the sequel.

I once taught a child whose mother wrote one of these books and was published. She never told him about her childhood but just handed him the book the day before she started her book tour. The book had her photo in it and was publicised in our local WH Smith as "local author". Soon everyone at school and in the community was talking about it and her poor children were expected to deal with it.
Her method of "dealing with it" messed up her own child's teenage years.