...to HATE 'misery memoirs'

[rhirhirhirirhi]

Over the past four years or so I've seen memoirs' become increasingly popular, but surely I can't be one of the only people who thinks that there is something inherently weird and creepy about revelling in these tales of woe? I think it's completely acceptable to read them as a way of supporting yourself if you've been through something similar, but I cannot begin to understand why somebody would otherwise choose to read them. The other day I was in a big Tesco and they had a BOGOF offer on them- allowing some woman to eagerly scoop up 8 (!) with names like, 'Please Daddy No' and 'Our Little Secret' and put them in her trolley.

I was speaking to a friend about this recently and she admitted that she loves them, and said that it helps her to ''appreciate her life''. Worse still, she tried to justify it by saying that many of the ones she'd read were actually fiction, so technically she wasn't really 'experiencing a real person's misery''. Fictional misery memoirs?! Good God, if I were an author writing pretend tales of child abuse I would seriously be re-evaluating my skills! AIBU to think that most people should be perfectly capable of appreciating their life without having to delve into a book detailing the horrendous life of some poor person?

ONe problem is that most of them are absolute crap in terms of the writing: plodding, cliched hackwork whether they are true or exaggerateed. Unfortunately suffering, no matter how terrible, doesn't make a person a great writer or artist, no matter how therapeutic writing their story may be for them. Mind you given that most of the generic ones are ghostwritten anyway I suppose it's the money that provides the therapy for the 'authors' who haven't made it all up.
Though I am disappointed that the bottom is dropping out of the market because I have occaisionally fancied making a few up myself.
'Murdered Once a Week then Dug Up and Fucked' I think would be the definitive title.
Or maybe just 'AAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!'

Books like these are popular because the supermarkets sell them and people lazily buy their books with their bread and milk. Supermarkets dictate the top 10 best seller list the same way as the top 10 charts for music. They can sell cheaper than the smaller book shop or record shop so what they choose to put on the shelves ends up being at the top of the charts.
A book or a song should not be chosen because of its price (and ease of purchase) but sadly more and more it is. Not only are people wasting their valuable life on carp books and songs but smaller book and record businesses are closing because of this.

I seem to be in the minority amongst all the women I know in RL who LOVE these books and think I am "weird" for not reading them all countless times then going over exactly what happened in them - in great detail.

And I am the weird one....

I'd rather read something that gets you away from RL and takes your mind off things... What a fekkin weirdo eh?

'Murdered Once a Week then Dug Up and Fucked'

PMSL. You win. I don't think there could be a better title then that.

Don't you think that the avoidance of and disgust at such books and the experiences in them actually perpetuates the taboo that is child abuse? Given the frequent media stories about children dying and concealed abuse that no-one is aware of I think such books and the awareness raised regarding such situations are not necessarily bad things.

There is a "Tragic Childhood" section in my local WHSmith .

I think this was said by someone on a previous thread, but why are the covers always photographs of beautiful children. Is abuse more tragic if the child is photogenic?

My cousin reads them by the bucketload. I loathe them, loathe the idea of people sitting there in their pyjamas drooling over someone's misfortune and hate the idea that people are being actively encouraged to wallow in their misery for financial gain.

We did have quite a funny (for the bystanders) family feud over the "flog your story for a tenner" chav-mags. One relative (who'd sell her mother for a tenner) sold their story which, shall we say, was somewhat "embellished" and critical of another family member - who in response went off and sold THEIR side of the story. Family chaos and feuding subsequently ensued, which is about normal for that side of the family really.

Don't you think that the avoidance of and disgust at such books and the experiences in them actually perpetuates the taboo that is child abuse?

no, i don't. partly because they are very mainstream so obviously the views expresed here have zero effect, and partly because no-one here has objected to a sensible discussion of the issues in a news-reporting style.

i think horrible things happen on this planet, and as much as sensibly can be done should be done to stop them. i don't see how even one of these books is going to stop even a single case of child abuse.

I also feel a bit of ghoulish voyeurism surrounds these books.

I don't see them as the same as serial killer or mafia books, personally. I read those, or did years ago, as I was interested in what makes the perpetrators minds tick. The better ones didn't make the detail of the crimes but more the psychology behind the criminals.

These misery memoirs seem to be all about the crimes and not so much anything else. I'm sure it's cathartic for the authors, but it's a bit like public therapy for me.

I think they are unspeakable.

Shelves of them in Asda etc - all the same look (black and white photo of stylised child, handrwiting font for title)

It's all shit. I laugh to think of some twat publisher (who has probably wanted to work in publishing all their life and strived for teh job) being assigned shit like this. Thinking they would actually edit literature and being assigned this crap.

There is something wrong with people who read it. There is NO need to read graphic descriptions of child abuse. IMo it gets people's rocks off.

These books (or the good ones, at least) may help others to recognise abuse, gain empathy and understanding towards those who have experienced such situations, may help others who have suffered or are suffering from. There is also research into the benefits of biblio- and scriptotherapy where literature and writing are employed to help others to process their own experiences.

The idea that people might what to publish these accounts perhaps comes from the desire to 'prove' what has happened to them after years of denial from other family members. Books allow victims a 'voice' and means of communicating their abuse after years of being unable to (I don't, however, condone the manipulation and sensationalism of publishers etc.)

In every genre there are books of questionable literary quality - much like 'celebrity' autobiographies - the reader has to sort the wheat from the chaff.

I genuinely do wonder how many of the buyers are abusers reading them as wank-fodder. Probably quite a few. Much safer and more accessible than hunting out 'child porn', after all.

And what moron buys a title like 'please daddy no' (pretty much guaranteed to have description of child sex abuse in it) to take to read on their hols.

And don't think that reading a stylised account of abuse is any help if you work with disadvantaged children, fgs.

"Forced to Read Mandelson's memoirs, then murdered and dug up once a week to be fucked"

"I think in the end, I worry that with so much exposure, people may just become numb."

yes, exactly.

It's almost become a bandwagon thing. 'Let me tell you about my horrible childhood' No wait, mine was worse.' 'Well mine was just as bad. Here's my story'. You end up not being sure what is truth, and what is highly embellished and dubious memories used to sell a story. The whole thing has become very distasteful and I think there's been enough of these memoirs published now.

I would also worry about somebody coping if they wanted to publish their (truthful) story, but got rejected.

what happened to me is really 'not that bad' when compared with a lot of other people (my DH for example). DH has always said that doesn't matter, it's how you feel about it that counts.

if I told it truthfully, it'd get rejected for sure. not interesting/tragic enough - although there is the happy ending where I went to psychiatric hospital, met a very handsome psychiatric nurse, and he is now my DH

anyway, my point is, what if someone poured their heart out and it got turned down for being not interesting enough, how awful would that feel? it's like the publisher saying their experience "wasn't that bad". or saying "get over it". for a vulnerable person that would be terrible.

I remember being on a creative writing course about 5 years ago and the class leader mentioned this genre and basically said "this is a specialised market for a certain type of reader and the writers who provide this material are specialised fiction writers and we won't look at this genre at all and I advise you to avoid it."

Basically it is the same 5 writers churning this stuff out to order, in her opinion.

YANBU.

so they aren't even vaguely real then?

Actually, 'creative writing' classes have a lot to answer for. It's bullshit that anyone can write a book. The utter lame sameness of so much that's out there these days (if it's not 'dug up and fucked' it's generic chicklit of the worst sort 'Shoes and pregnancy tests and True Lurv' or those unbelievably pointless 'How We Ate The DOg DUring The Blitz' stories that are always called things like 'Tuppence for a Handjob in SHit Street'.

lol at tuppence for a handjob in shit street.

Actually SGB I would read that book

SGB - I have tears pouring down my face - enough already!

Am an avid reader of just about anything (even Sophocles) but I draw the line at Misery Porn. DS (14) and I always go and have a snigger at the Tragic Childhood Stories shelf in WH Smith. We have an ongoing competition to find the worst possible title, but "Tuppence for a Handjob in Shit Street" gets the prize!

They all seem to try to out do eachother on the tragedy stakes, please no more! I read 'A Child Called It' and found alot of it hard to believe. Not saying it didnt happen but, well...