The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

I really, really want to numb myself at the moment@anewyearthisyear .

My mind is racing.

😭

@GunnelVallquist Do something - anything other than drinking alcohol - to occupy your mind. Watch a film or box set; read a book, fall down a rabbit hole online. Eat some tasty food even if it's unhealthy. Have an uncaffeinated soft drink/herbal tea. If you have prescription meds, make sure you are taking them. You can get through this.

However much your mind is racing now, if you temporarily dull it with alcohol, your anxiety will return x10 when you sober up. You need to be kind to your future self by protecting yourself from this. Think of how glad you will be tomorrow if you stay strong.

I really felt those words @REP22 'drinking in order to knock themselves out and wipe their minds' So eloquently put! Without the drink I'm realising I have to feel the feelings and get on with my day. I'm spending less time inside my own head when I can.

@Gribouille nothing worse than white knuckling.... Oh, there is... It's spending time with someone who is doing it. Mindset is key. In one of my many absolutely miserable attempts to give up smoking I was vile to be around. Picking fights with everyone so I could justifiably stomp off and have one. When I actually gave up it was easy!

And while here.... there was previous talk of scans etc, our local NHS has an initiative where it is offering liver Fibroscans to those who have been long term heavy drinkers. I did smile at their definition of 'heavy'..... (sustained over 10+ years regularly exceeding roughly 6 pints of beer or 1.5 bottles of wine PER WEEK) as daily would have been more close to the mark for me at times. Anyway, I've booked in for one by way of a health check. Thought I'd mention in case it was being offered elsewhere and if others would benefit. Was easy to book and I have a date in a few weeks.

Sorry I’ve not been on more lately but thought I’d post to say I did it, a whole year alcohol free. Can’t quite believe the new me and I’m so very grateful for all the support over the last year x
@MagicalCrocodile those numbers were much closer to daily than weekend for me too.
I wonder if the bin me. Appreciate how much lighter the bottles are.

That’s amazing @FiloPasty. Congratulations on the new you ❤️🤩🥰

Morning all.
I was so blinking tired yesterday and expected a longer sleep. However up and tea has been drunk.

Buyers visit today to discuss what's being left.
Obviously I'm not sure yet until I progress with the cottage. Final viewing Tuesday.

Friday is always difficult for me but I get myself upstairs and watch Monty. I can't do funny smells in the bedroom so I'm never tempted to drink booze up there.

We're going to go away in November I think depending on the move date. I'm happy to move December if it can be agreed. I'm not packing up this time.

Thank you for the kind words @PhantomOfAllKnowledge .

I did not drink last night (nothing in the house anyway).

Morning all.

Day six.

Morning @WendyWagon

Who is Monty, if I may ask?

I will not drink today

Morning all
Monty Don - Gardeners World. I saw he was leaving. I like his dog, Ned.

Sorry you're feeling a bit down @Onewildandpreciouslife. Are you still in treatment? (Don't answer that if too personal - I just mean to ask how you are really)

Someone asked about sober holidays and I realised I never got back to answer. Yes, it is 'weird' at first, because the routine on my holidays was quite broken. However I was so determined and wrote down all the reasons on my phone I didn't want to drink, read this thread, and just held out for the first hour every time we went to a bar and then as the week went on it changed. Then on another it was catered ski chalet and I contacted the hosts and asked them to get AF alternatives for me. The hosts actively made sure they always poured me the AF stuff when others were drinking so that was really helpful. I had to build myself up quite a lot to send the email ahead of time to tell them but I'm so glad I did and didn't feel any judgement. In fact I think they quite liked having a sober person there in the group! I had a brilliant time on both holidays.

I've had a busy week with work this week but feeling very positive about an opportunity that may arise from it. Being sober has given me the confidence to advocate for myself (rather than wait to be given opportunities because my anxiety would tell me I wasn't worth it) and so I sent a business proposition to my boss this week. I was so nervous about it and doubtful but just thought to myself he can either dismiss it or love it and if he dismisses it, at least he'll know I'm thinking about these things (whereas before I would have imagined he'd think 'who does she think she is giving me business ideas?!). Anyway - he loved it!

Then separate to that I've been having a chat to someone about doing something in my spare time which I probably would have done for free but will be paid for it. Again this would never have happened a year and a bit ago as I just wouldn't have had the bother.

It might not feel like it now but being sober will give you the headspace to achieve things, big and small. It's still hard at times but one day the serenity will outweigh the sadness. Keep going. X

Random question but does anyone keep chickens?

@WendyWagon. Yes! 🐓

@CarrotSeeds I might be asking some questions about the chucks then on dm if that's okay?
Not had them since my granddad's.

Sure Wendy. We’ve had them for about 7 years now, mostly rescues. Some get foxed sadly as we are pretty rural. We currently have three.

I seem to be having a bit more of an appetite today.

Just had some toast followed by Greek Yogurt with two chopped kiwis.

I love that.☺️

Ah, thank you @Lavrander , never seen it.

I thought maybe it was @WendyWagon ’s dog or cat 🤦🏼‍♀️.

I hope you are feeling calmer this morning @GunnelVallquist

Having nothing in the house has saved me on any occasions.

Happy Friday Shipmates!

I've always wanted a dog called Monty @GunnelVallquist .
Or a boyfriend when I was young!

I love the film the full Monty. I'm old enough to remember the miners strikes.

Our cockapoo is Mr Tiggle ( it's not his real name) it's his Mumsnet name. I can't out him😁

I am, thank you @PhantomOfAllKnowledge .

One day at a time, right?

Happy Friday to you too!

😁😁😁

100%

Every good 'one day' you have will build your resilience.

That scene in The Full Monty where they’re in line at the job centre is so funny!

Thank you.

May I ask how long it’s been for you?

Congratulations, @FiloPasty! Don't be a stranger, though.

I thought I had posted this last night, but obviously not. I was distracted by a fox in the garden. It was picked up on the security camera - we had a badger the other night. It's like the cast of Wind in the Willows out there😀. I assume they must have been visiting for years, but have only been discovered because of the camera.

I'm going sofa shopping this afternoon😢. I hate shopping for anything, but wouldn't order a sofa online unless I'd sat in an identical one for a while. I'll be taking Husband, but he likes shopping even less than I do, and will be grumpy and uninterested in anything we see. I very much doubt we'll get anything, but have to start somewhere. I am looking for something fully sprung, that has both two and three seater versions, and there will be copious bonus points if it has removable washable covers. I fear that will be the Holy Grail of sofas.

I agree about every day being a building block. It's the same as when people start training for runs etc. At first it hurts every day, but after a while it's more of an ache, and eventually even that goes away. I've done several holidays booze-free. They were all fine, except the one where my companion was a heavy drinker, and we were sharing a room. It is best forgotten😂. Otherwise, it's definitely a mindset thing.