The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.
So cold here I'm in the scratcher with the famous five cardigan on.

I've been reminded of the serinity prayer this weekend. The house shenanigans are soul destroying but I could stay at Chez Wendy if I can get a remortgage. I can manage the stairs now and I have got six wardrobes!
The DH suggested the cost of moving buys me a new kitchen and main bathroom. True, not so pretty as a thatched cottage but handsome.

I'll post the prayer for those that don't know it.

Just to add I think the serenity prayer is just common sense really. Believer or not!

Morning all.

Chucking it down here.

I didn’t have the best night, but I’m waking up sober again. Day four today.

I can do this…again.

She says.

😂😂

That photo of Sid.

Sorry to hear you’re still having issues on the house front @WendyWagon .

Of course you can do it, @GunnelVallquist

One day at a time.

I do not need a drink today.

Thank you @PhantomOfAllKnowledge .

I will join you and @mermadeincornwall in saying I will not drink today.

Well truth be I sold it to a friend. Said friend is a nutter and disappeared last week when the exchange was supposed to happen. Walter Mity type character.
Husband doing lots of I told you so.

Ah no.

☹️

A little win for me last night - I was looking for a piece of fabric I knew I had somewhere and I came across a bottle of Spanish lager hidden behind my sewing chest - I must have put it there as a secret late night drinking 'reserve' at some point, that my husband wouldn't be aware of - I used to assure my husband I wouldn't be too late to bed because 'I've only got one glass of wine left' 🙄. Use by date on it was August 2025😆

That’s brilliant @PhantomOfAllKnowledge!

Love it. 😁👌

Oh, no! Can your conveyancer get hold of theirs and find out what's going on?

My anxiety is through the roof today (well, it was pretty bad yesterday already).

On one of the Soberful podcast episodes it was explained that it’s your brain trying to trick you into drinking again. To ease the anxiety.

@GunnelVallquist it will be the addiction trying to 'win' without a doubt. Has your anxiety fastened itself to anything specific, or is it the type of anxiety where you feel as though something terrible is going to happen, but you are not sure what?

Neither really @PhantomOfAllKnowledge …it’s more like me going into overdrive with cleaning and washing (and hand washing).

I’ve always had issues with that but it’s definitely got much worse over the past ten years or so.

The heightened anxiety should pass soon as you are already on Day 4 @GunnelVallquist . Do you find it helps to 'run with it' and accept you are in obsessive cleanliness overdrive for a while, or does it work better for you if you try to distract yourself by doing other things or getting out of the house?

I have to ‘get on with it’ and do it, otherwise it worsens the anxiety ☹️.

Ah well, just have to put on my big girl pants.

Morning all.
Hang in there @GunnelVallquist. We can do hard things.

One of the most helpful descriptions I was given about anxiety is not being able to tolerate uncertainty. It’s why we obsessively google health conditions if we’re ill - it’s a way of our brain trying to find certainty (but stats won’t actually give us certainty, just more uncertainty!)

It makes doing anything new really hard, because our brains just want what we’re used to. I talk back to my brain sometimes (“it’s OK brain, we’re just trying something, we’re safe”). At least I then just view myself as ridiculous!!

That makes a lot of sense @Onewildandpreciouslife .

A therapist said to me once that I might have ramped up my obsessive cleaning and hand washing because I felt like it was the one thing I had control over when my whole life was falling apart (it was a couple of years after I had fallen out with my mother/ parents and subsequently my sister, plus the miscarriage).

Afternoon.

The anxiety loop is real, I’ve had a quick read through and totally relate. Ironically, it’s the alcohol significantly heightening the anxiety we are trying to escape from - which I think we probably mostly know on here. It’s being ready to figure out some of the stuff that lead us to drink excessively (or whatever negative behaviour we may indulge in) in the first place that probably allows us to break the cycle, and we can only be ready when we are ready individually. I couldn’t have tackled my drinking straight after DH’s life changing stroke, I was too busy picking up the pieces of my kids and trying to figure how to run our business on our own, while dealing with the trauma of going from a spouse to a carer overnight. Drinking was my escape. I know now I can’t process all this emotion while wine is in my life, simply put but I’m glad I’m starting to do so.

Plodding along here. We’ve had a lovely weekend as DD and her partner were home so we did a lot of old fashioned indoor stuff like playing games, puzzles, chatting etc while the weather raged outside. It meant a stupidly long run on the treadmill, but if that’s all I’ve got to complain about, it’s not much. I just didn’t get much of a chance to check in here.

Hoping you are all plodding on xx

Thanks everyone, @REP22you did make me laugh with your ‘tedious little tit’ comment. To be honest I’ve been seeing that in myself more and more recently.
Sat here in my kitchen post night shift, I would be completely happy to never drink again. I’ve had some amazing social events when I’ve been sober in the past even a weekend in London with boozy friends at ABBA Voyage. So why is it that I always give into the pressure?
I could really do with some advice on this!

Welcome back @WhatMaggieDidNext . You don’t always give into the pressure, because you’ve built up some solid sober streaks in the past. Truth be told, it’s just easier to drink sometimes, isn’t it? Sometimes we don’t have the resilience to say no - if we’re tired, or a bit glum, or with people we don’t know very well, or like very much …

Can you put your finger on what made you drink this time?

@WhatMaggieDidNextI can completely relate to the social pressure side of things. What helped me was to come up with a good phrase to explain you not drinking. “I just don’t fancy it tonight/have something on tomorrow/I’m on a health kick” depending on situation. You don’t have to make an announcement that you’re not drinking anymore, I feel that invites more comments.

I actually managed a “drinks” night this weekend, just told DH I don’t want to drink, there was a fleeting moment of disappointment, but once that passed, no one else batted an eyelid. Sometimes we make it out really hard in our heads, when the reality turns out much easier and simpler.

I can’t give you any advice on that one @WhatMaggieDidNextsadly - I was more of a drink in the house sort, socials didn’t worry me. Although having said that, as a few months went on, I felt more comfortable just saying that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and had decided not to drink for a while. People respected that I think and I then didn’t get the social pressure from peers. I didn’t feel confident enough initially though, so just drove or used another reason like Dry January, health, had a cold etc. (that’s easy these days as DH is disabled now so I’ve got to drive, perfect reason!!).

The Sober Awkward pod was good this week, in fact the two hosts are relatable, in that one was a ‘at home’ drinker like me, the other the ‘party animal’ type. This week was about how moderation just doesn’t work if you have alcohol issues.

Thanks @needastrongoneI’ll definitely have a listen to that. @Onewildandpreciouslife I think it’s fear of being boring, or as you pointed out having to socialise with people I don’t know very well. If I didn’t have to go out I’d be fine!!