The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@GunnelVallquist well done. I'm proud of you.

Thanks for the lovely messages.

Well done @GunnelVallquist sorry to hear about your anxiety,I hope you can do something nice for yourself this evening to help.

Thank you. 🥹😭

How did your meeting go?

Thank you so much @Teaforthetotal .

I’m going to have a lovely piece of carrot cake later on while watching The Traitors.

With a cup of tea and some sparkling water on the side.

Well done @GunnelVallquist, another brick in your wall of resilience.

Hope it went well today @WendyWagon.

Night time anxiety is the pits @anewyearthisyear, everything seems catastrophic at 2am. I rarely suffer now but it was literally every single night while I was drinking. I look back and wonder how I functioned now - everything in the last few years has been so traumatic, why on earth did I add a bottle of wine a night to it. Easy to see how stupid that was on the ‘other side’. Remember that this too shall pass, it will. X

Plodding along here - had a fabulous run this morning now the wind has died down. Deep into marathon training now and the fitness starts to really build (as well as a fair bit of fatigue!).

One foot in front of the other lovely folk. Xx

Well done @GunnelVallquist - stay strong, your future self will love your present self for your resilience. We are all rooting for you.

This sounds like such a perfect way to unwind. I am looking forward to catch up with The Traitors:)

Morning all.

I didn’t get much sleep last night. Feeling absolutely shattered.

But I didn’t drink, that’s the main thing.

Hope everyone has a good day. x

Morning all.

Meeting went fine. Hopefully something on the job front will come out of it.
The first option was a hair loss brand but it's very blokey. I don't see that being a good fit for me. Thanks for all the good wishes.

I've been Christmas shopping online and I'm nearly finished. Hoorah.

I do see the cottage as a real Christmas house ( funnily enough the new to the market cottage is called Christmas Cottage). Not as lovely as the beautiful thatch but very good I think. I won't view until the exchange this end and then I will see.

Fish and chips tonight.

Morning @GunnelVallquist and well done for not drinking last night! Hopefully your poor sleep will translate into being really tired tonight and sleeping well. I sometimes put fresh bedding on, out of my normal bed changing cycle, when I've had a sleepless or near-sleepless night, so I can really look forward to sinking into a lovely fresh, smooth bed.

I'm glad the meeting went well, @WendyWagon . It's a shame it wasn't a product for women's hair loss, that might have been a better fit for you, and we need more treatments for women that actually work. My hair has thinned something awful post-menopause and nothing I have tried has really helped.

I will not drink today

Thank you all for your kind comments over the past week (and throughout really)…unfortunately I have to leave you for the time being because I have once again succumbed to the devil’s piddle (I thought @WendyWagon’s description was so apt when I first read it and yet it didn’t do anything to stop me)

I am sorry to disappointt you and Mr Gunnel yet again. Id say I’m sorry I’m disappointing myself but it feels like I can’t even muster that anymore.

I went for a wslk this morning to get away from all the noise nrxt door (we live in a new build semi in the South West and yes, if I could turn back the clock I would absolutely not buy this, but we moved here during the Covid madness of 2020)…but I don’t want to make cheap excuses.

I should be able to ho for a walk wotjout opping into the shop and buying wine. The fact that I can’t fo that is not my (arsehole, sorry) neighbours’ faukt but mine.

It had been brewing for a while to be fair.

I was hanging by a thread these past few days.

So now I am left wondering agsin if I missed my window of opportunity. I want to go bavk a decade and slap eight months sobdr me and shake her and tell her to kerp going as this is not going to get any easier.

I am sorry sorry

Glad your interview went well @WendyWagon .

Oh, @GunnelVallquist I am sorry to hear this.

Do not think of your recent sober periods as wasted or invalid because you have had a lapse - it is all experience that will build your strength for the future.

Think of it like learning to ride a bike - you'll likely fall off a lot when you first start but if you keep trying, you will gradually be able to pedal for longer and longer.

I hope to see you here again soon when you are feeling stronger.

Should say; we had a short window of opportunity to find somewhere (five days!) in the Oct of 2020.

Initially we were going to rent and then look gor a suitable place later. All the rental properties we viewed (and there weren’t that many to begin with) were appalling. And i mean appalling

I know hou can clean a place, and id always do that anywsy, but I remember vieeing one house and the kitchen was in an atrocious state (and tgat was at a rent price of £ 1200 pm) and I mentioned something along those lines to the letting agrnt and he was really blasè about it, saying ‘It is what it is’

And I thought no it fucking isn’t good enough (and it made me feel really sorry for people who are at the mercy of these …, landlords )

We only had a day left and we were desperate as our (detached 😢) house in Scotland had slready dold snd so we ended yp with tjis

Thank hou so much for your kind words @PhantomOfAllKnowledge

Crying my eyes out here

I hate myself so much

So sorry to hear this @GunnelVallquist but sobriety isn't linear and isn't easy and that you are not there quite yet doesn't mean you won't be some day. You seem like such a really nice woman. I think everyone here is rooting for you and everyone here has been where you've been. Just let the idea still stay in your head. every day you don't drink is a win.

My little dog looks like he is heading to the end. Spoke to his dogwalker yesterday (doesn't walk him anymore but comes and sits with him when I work outside the house one day a week) and to my dh and kids - they all think it is time. I'm going to call the vet for a consult today. She is a lovely vet who comes to the house and is so loving to him (and me!). I have no idea how I will cope without him - he has been with us for 16 years and I love him so so much. I can't imagine the house or my life without him. I don't feel like I will drink when it happens but I am thinking about how to try to make sure I don't - having people around me (the kids will be here) etc.

Thinking of you all.

Thank you for your kind words @anewyearthisyear and I am so sorry to hear about your dog.

My boy died years abd years ago (at the grand old age of 14) and I was so traumatised by his passing that I havent been able to get another dog since.

I still miss him every day, so zi understand and feel your pain.

Sending love x

My boy

Just to add; he was born in 1996, so just before they stopped docking Cocker Spaniels’ tails.

He died Dec 2010 and I still miss him every day, he was perfect.

I remember one time I got really drunk and was kneeling in front of the toilet, and he walked over and put his head in my lap.

💔

One thing I (well, that’s both me and Mr Gunnel actually) will never forgive myself for is taking him over to the US in 2007.

But it was a military posting and we had nobody to look after him (not that I would have wanted to be separated from him for two years)…but yeah, I had just fallen out with my parents the year before Mr Gunnel got his marching orders, so to speak.

In hindsight, I’d move heaven and earth to turn down that posting.

But back then I was suffering with depression already (it would take too long to go into all of this now and my parents’ role in it) and I jumped at the chance to put an ocean between me and my family.

It’s something I’ve regretted ever since though and I wouldn’t do it again.

Sorry, my mind is currently going through all the things I’ve done wrong.

Why is it that once you’ve had a drink (or several) your mind offers a Top Ten of all your wrongdoings?

Any predictions for tonight’s Traitors?

I feel for James A, he’s getting a lot if heat.

Sorry, I’ve been waffling on here for three hours.