The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

oops, I meant 3 course meal - still a good deal in my opinion 😅

Hi all. I've had a friend staying for the past few nights - a moderate drinker. She's had a glass of wine in the evening and I've had something a/f. There were many times over the years where I woke up horribly hungover after she stayed - because I was drinking double what she was - at least.

Takeaway curry tonight and a/f beer for me.

Evening all.

I did have something to drink on Thursday when my husband took me out for lunch (‘It’s my birthday after all’ 🤦🏼‍♀️), but nothing yesterday and nothing today and determined to keep going.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Oh, and I got a Happy Birthday email from my sister yesterday. Better late than never I suppose.

I didn’t even enjoy the wine on Thursday…my husband wasn’t drinking as he was driving and I felt annoyed with myself for ordering it.

I just want to break free from this and stop thinking about it constantly. It really is a form of torture, like @CrazyCatMam said.

Luckily DH is not a big drinker and has committed to total abstinence for the time being to help me through the initial stage. Again. Sigh.

Hope you're all keeping safe from the storm. No sign of it here yet, but it's very cold and very wet.

I'm so glad that your DH is supportive @GunnelVallquist.

I'm no longer craving alcohol in the here and now, which is a relief. At the start it was on my mind constantly. I'm sleeping well and for the first time in years, I love going to my bed. My friend gave me a bottle of Prosecco today as a thank you. It's still in the car, and I haven't given it a second thought.

When I think too far ahead though, my mind panics and I fret thinking about all the drinks I'm going to miss (champagne to celebrate, a bottle of red in front of the fire, that first drink after checking in at the airport). I feel a loss that I'll never experience them again. Then I bargain with myself: there's nothing stopping you. You could have those drinks again...

I read somewhere that getting sober is the difficult part, staying sober is easier. I hope this is true. If it's not, then please don't tell me!

Hi @CrazyCatMam . It was quite windy earlier on, but it seems to have calmed down a bit.

I know exactly what you mean; my mind keeps going there too. Thinking about all the wines I will miss out on I mean.

Why oh why did I go back to drinking when I had already come so far? Twice! Eight and seven months, what was I thinking??

Even last summer I managed three months. Should have just kept going.

It was never going to be different ‘this time round’. It never is.

All the rubbish I kept telling myself.

’My tolerance has lowered, so I’ll be able to just have a couple of glasses and that’ll be me’

’I will only drink at the weekend/ on holiday/ special occasions now’

It’s all for the birds as soon as I’ve had the first sip.

Cold and wet here too, @CrazyCatMam . I think the actual storm is supposed to arrive about midnight.

Sense of sadness today getting in the car and knowing it's the last time the car clock will be right for five months (we don't know how to change it from BST) and tomorrow it will be dark before 5pm.

Had a day wandering round charity shops in a nearby town. I'm obsessed with buy things to use for fabric in sewing projects at the moment. We warmed up with a 'Spoons lunch + unlimited hot drinks and I had one of those unexpected moments of temptation - I was waiting by the machine to refill my coffee and I idly glanced at the nearby bar and saw a bottle of Courvoisier and a longing for a shot of Courvoisier in my coffee hit me like a punch in the gut!

I used to love a French coffee in my drinking days. As I looked at the bottle I could feel the sudden heat as the 'spiked' coffee would hit the back of my throat and I was so cold and wet, I wanted it more than anything.

I didn't have it, I refilled my coffee and sat down again, but the longing has continued to haunt me.

Belated happy birthday to @REP22 and @GunnelVallquist . Great to hear your husband is supporting you with abstinence Gunnel and sorry you had a blip, but it's good that you've sensed it wasn't really worth it, hold that feeling for next time.

Sorry your housing shenanigans continue to rumble on @WendyWagon and hope you get positive news soon.

Ah, well here's to an extra hour of Sunday tomorrow so it's not all bad.

Stay safe in the storm, Shipmates.

Thank you @PhantomOfAllKnowledge .

Remind me again please how long you’ve been sober?

It's two years now @GunnelVallquist . I suspect I'm always going to get these odd flashes of temptation but the good thing is that the habit of regular drinking has completely gone, I no longer think about it routinely at all.

I know if I gave in I would get drunk, I know exactly how my own mind works, I'll think 'I've had a drink now, I might as well do it properly' and I wouldn't stop until I threw up and the following day I would be full of fear and self-loathing. So I don't do it, but it's hard when something gets into my head as it does from time to time, especially when I'm feeling a bit low as I am today due to oncoming winter.

Two years is amazing @PhantomOfAllKnowledge . Truly.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling with SAD. 🌺

Thinking about it, the clocks going back always used to represent a bonus extra hour's drinking - I'd think 'I can stay up drinking till 2am and it will actually only be 1am' - which used to be my idea of moderation at the weekend. Invariably staying up to till 2am BST would become staying up till 2am GMT ('oh, well it's not that late') and then 3am ... and my 'extra hour' would become lost time.

Thank you for your kind wishes, I'm trying to look at SAD like this @GunnelVallquist - we are now more than 4 months through the getting-darker phase and in less than two months although it will be thoroughly dark and miserable at least it will be slowly getting lighter.

Morning all, a little win here! Yesterday I was offered alcohol by a friend who was having one herself, I had my Guinness 0.0. Usually I’d say something like “no thanks, I’m not drinking” or “I’m off it”, yesterday I said “I don’t drink”. A few little words but the shift in perspective came naturally (after almost 10 months!!) and I’m very proud of myself. Have a fab day everyone and stay safe in this storm. 💐

Morning all
@CrazyCatMam- get yourself some Thomson &Scott Noughty brut to have instead of champagne and Moderato Merlot instead of red. You can still celebrate with others and still have a cosy night by the fire, just without the terrible sleep and general horribleness that tends to follow. I guarantee you will have just as good a time as everyone else. I will be at the airport in a couple of weeks so I'll report back on alternatives then!

I will not drink today

Good morning all.

How nice to wake up and not feel foggy headed.

Cold here today, heating is on.

@TwoNicePuppies Well done. It is such a good feeling when you can say "I don't drink" and it feels natural, that it's become part of your identity. Without realising it, when you drink, your preferred drinks can become part of your identity - it used to be part of me that I dank red wine and real ale, not white wine and gin - and that left a gap when I stopped, but once I felt able to tell people I didn't drink, that gap was replaced by something I was genuinely much happier with.

Glad you are feeling fresh and bright this morning @GunnelVallquist

Wind still gusting where I am and light rain though it's quite bright. First task when I've had some coffee is remembering how to change the clock on the oven😆

Hello everyone, I’ve been here before and am back again, hopefully returning for the last time. I’ve told my alcohol story before so won’t bore you all again. I’ve had several attempts at sobriety in the last 6 years, the longest success lasting nearly 6 months.
My biggest challenge is social events, where I use alcohol as a social lubricant.

Just recently I’ve been aware that fewer and fewer people are drinking at these events and that I am an outlier in the amount that I drink. I’m sure it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Right now I feel sad, unmotivated and flat. I want the joy back.

So day 1, hopefully for the last time.

Hi everyone, this thread has been really useful today. I am struggling to see myself as a non-drinker, thinking of all the drinks I will miss out on. Trying to take it one day at a time, and to remember all that I gain by ‘missing out‘ on alcohol.

@Conteffi your skin will thank you I promise. I recommend buying a new lipstick every time you get through a particularly difficult week or event.

@WhatMaggieDidNext welcome back.
We're here, one foot in front of the other.

Afternoon all.

Just been asked to attend a meeting of the skincare company. Very unexpected.

Oooh, fingers crossed it is nothing to worry about @WendyWagon !

Treated myself to some Pomegranate and Elderflower presse to drink this evening, and I've got some Longley Farm cottage cheese to have with a nice warming jacket potato.

Oo-er @WendyWagon do you sense good or evil? The former, I hope.

Lovely to see you again @WhatMaggieDidNext - it brings me joy that you are here again, though sorry that you are feeling flat and tired. The joy WILL return, I'm sure. I'm sure absolutely no-one judges you more harshly than you are judging yourself just now. I used to be all for the social lubricant too. I thought it made me witty, effervescent and urbane. Actually it made me a tedious little tit. The real, best version of you is the unadulterated, sober you. ❤️

Sorry you're being challenged today @Conteffi - you are doing the right things, keeping going. I promise it gets easier, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. I agree with @WendyWagon - buy yourself a nice lipstick or other treat as a little "reward-me". Or use a spreadsheet (or App function; there's definitely one on I Am Sober, others too, I've no doubt) which tots up how much you are saving in cash based on your average consumption - put that moolah towards a real treat for your deserving self.

Right lads. Sid has been asking odd questions. He keeps wondering where the "onboard turret" is, disappearing randomly and making nebulous remarks about which of our shipmates "will be at breakfast". He has also suggested that we start referring to him as "WinkleSid" (no). Any of you smarter ones got any idea what's going on...?

In the meantime, I have confiscated his lantern and told him that any further mentions of winkles will see him sent to his basket without supper, to think about his choices.

Strength and courage. xx

I will not drink today

I'll stock up on those @Lavrander, thank you for the recommendation. Having an alcohol free alternative at hand definitely makes things easier.

The algorithm is doing its thing and my feed is full of people sharing their sobriety and alternatives to alcohol, which is also helping.

The storm has passed now, but what a mess has been left behind. Can't see out of my windows. When I get back from walking the dog, I'm going to go out with the van to pick up any debris.