The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

I don't think any one of us thought your miscarriage was due to drinking. I'd say most people are like me - could effortlessly give up alcohol when pregnant (did it 4 times including a miscarriage) and then go back to it completely - one of those mysteries. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you get through your birthday and enjoy some time with Mr. Gunnel.

I’m sorry, I’m really struggling.

Thank you so much @anewyearthisyear …only saw your message now when I refreshed the page.

Welcome back @Conteffi - we have all been there. It’s a positive step that you’ve posted.

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling so much @GunnelVallquist - can you talk to MrGunnelV about how you’re feeling? It would be good to do something tomorrow- even if you don’t feel like celebrating your birthday, it may be good to have a change of scene.

Hang in there @GunnelVallquist. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it.

This too shall pass.

@Conteffi shake the shame off. It's done now. Time to move on. All of us here will have many, many, drunken regrets, which is what brought us to this thread. I'm only 11 days sober, so a newbie. I've tried moderating, but it just doesn't work for me. It's a form of torture. As soon as I have even one sip my mind goes into overdrive, desperate for more. It's like I'm possessed. There's nothing relaxing about it.

I'm quite a private person usually, but I felt that if I told people that I'd like to have a go at getting sober, saying it out loud would make it more likely that I'd stick to it. I've only told two people and neither of them reacted how I hoped, so from now on I'll quietly count the days.

Currently getting a motivational boost by googling whether or not certain celebrities are sober. Anthony Hopkins, Jamie Lee Curtis, Stephen Graham - all firm favourites in this house. If they can do it, so can I!

I'm going to treat myself to a copy of Letters to Our Sons this weekend. Cheaper than my usual wine.

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife .

My husband knows all about my bad mental health..he took some time off work last year because I was in a really bad state…he actually said as well that a change of scenery might be beneficial, but right now I don’t feel like doing anything.

Other than going out in the afternoon to buy wine, I can clearly manage that.

At the moment I seem to do a few days on the wagon, followed by one (sometimes two) days off the wagon.

I am still tracking everything religiously on the NHS Drink Free Days app.

And while there is precious little to celebrate about my drinking, I have managed at least three sober days per week since November last year.

Just want to go back to when it was seven days out seven.

I fear I’ll never get there again, it seems so much harder now and I feel totally overwhelmed.

Thank you @CrazyCatMam .

This resonates with me so much:

<<It's a form of torture. As soon as I have even one sip my mind goes into overdrive, desperate for more. It's like I'm possessed>>

Gosh, I’ve missed so much. It was kind of crazy summer and lots going off and now we’re into autumn, where has time gone? I just wanted to check in with everyone as this group has been such a massive help on my alcohol free journey.

Today marks 170 days for me which is just under six months!!

I just wanted to share something, so for the last three years my husband has gone on a solo trip mid October just for one night but two full days so we kind of have this time to ourselves to do whatever we want. (I usually have my night away in spring time to do the same) So for the last two years I’ve used this time as an excuse to get drunk on my own because there’s no one here at home to see what I’m doing, last year I remember the night before planning what I was gonna drink, getting all excited and ordering a bottle of Smirnoff passionfruit vodka from Amazon. As soon as it passed mid day I began on the vodka and I had drank so much that I blacked out, didn’t enjoy my evening at all. Couldn’t remember anything, apparently I spoke to my daughter who was at uni but I don’t remember that we had a conversation. In contrast, today and I’ve had a really nice day, spent it having a bit of a pamper, doing all the things that make me happy. I cooked myself a delicious steak dinner and also baked myself a really nice dessert (New York style pistachio and white chocolate cookie, had it warm with vanilla ice cream and crushed pistachios) and had a couple glasses of zerosecco . It’s been a lovely day and I’m just sitting here reflecting on how it was last year and being so grateful to be here sober. I also have tomorrow to look forward to without regret and a hangover. Yay

I will have a little catch up on missed posts now 😀

@Conteffi you are not alone. You’ve done the right thing reaching out and giving us an update here. There is no judgement, we all struggle and have ups and downs. Sending hugs your way

@GunnelVallquist sorry to hear your struggling so much. Seven out and of seven will happen again for you, you’re here and you’re being open with us. Alcohol has such a big impact on my mental health - I don’t know how I was functioning some days.

@REP22 I need an up to date Sid pic!!

Lovely to hear from you @TickleMeElmo1 . 170 days is wonderful!!

Happy Birthday @REP22 and @GunnelVallquist

@GunnelVallquistyou WILL get there. The fact that you're here shows you mean it, however hard it is. Keep setting that intent and it will come.

Welxome back @Conteffi. Do try the 30 day experiement on the Naked Mind app. It's great for a reset and will hopefully help with the creeping back in as life gets more social up to Christmas. Hope you feel better soon. Look after yourself.

@TickleMeElmo1it really made me smile reading your update. What a lovely day! The dessert sounds delicious! Well done on 170 days 🎉

Happy birthday @REP22 and @GunnelVallquist!

I will not drink today

Happy Birthday @REP22 @GunnelVallquist I wish you both a wonderful day 🎂 🎁

@Lavrander @Onewildandpreciouslife thank you both

Good morning all.

Thank you for the kind words and birthday wishes.

Happy Birthday to you @REP22.

Morning all.

Happy birthday dear @REP22 and @GunnelVallquist

I have have big important phone calls to do today.
It looks like my buyer is stringing us along. I'm furious as I might have to go back to market.
I didn't go out and buy booze but it's going to be another set of problems.

Thank you @WendyWagon .

Sorry to hear that.

Buying and selling in England is so stressful. 🌺

@WendyWagon Sorry to hear the buyers might be stringing you along. Really hope there’s not that case. I agree, selling in England is awful!

Happy birthday @REP22 and @GunnelVallquist !

@TickleMeElmo1 I remember your first posts. You started posting on here just after I started the first time. And wow what an achievement! You can be very proud of yourself!! I can relate to what you said about the party for one when DH is away. That’s something I have been guilty of too- no one to see what you are doing to yourself, no one to judge when you rot in bed the next day. It’s quite sad really.

Morning everyone.

A very Happy Birthday indeed to @GunnelVallquist and @REP22. I hope that both of your respective days are contented, calm and with loved ones (including the canine variety).

Bloody Hell @WendyWagon - what a process. What’s that saying about death, divorce and moving house being the most stressful things in life? It certainly seems true in your case. I’m sorry to hear of the latest developments.

Hello @TickleMeElmo1 - I’m new but have been AF (with 3 minor tiny blips, one glass each time) since January and moderated all last year where I did all the work I think I needed to do on myself to get me to My Time to Stop. 170 days is amazing. How we change don’t we? Your example just shows that.

‘I love my life when I am sober, and I hate myself when I am not’, never a truer word. How are you feeling today @Conteffi after (hopefully) a restorative nights sleep. I agree with @anewyearthisyear - I am sure we ALL have moments of such intense shame after drinking. You are very much not alone.

I didn’t tell anyone I stopped drinking initially, and then I decided to tell folk that actually, my relationship with alcohol was becoming unhealthy and I needed to take a break from it. I think the honesty has prevented any further questions. Actually, no one in my friendship group drinks all that much and it wasn’t an issue for them anyway. I was never a loud drunk, most folk couldn’t tell I was actually drunk.

Pootling along here. A run and a weight training session done. I’m sorting some finances now for a meeting later.

One foot in front of the other people xx

The problem I have is I sold to an old friend. I'd never do that again!
We have a deadline on the house due to a legal fight. She's knows this.

However things have picked up around here. Not sure if it's because the modern houses are cheaper to run?

I'm on the other thread about the alcoholic husband. It really does seem to be older drinkers now. Gen Z falling away rapidly.

Yayy! 170 days is epic @TickleMeElmo1 - you're brilliant.

Thank you so much for your lovely birthday messages; they mean a great deal to me. Happy birthday @GunnelVallquist - here's PartySid, Livin' la Vida Loca for us all.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

@REP22 I love that picture of Sid. He’s absolutely gorgeous

@WendyWagon I saw that thread this morning - hope the OP responds today

Thanks @needastrongone I went to bed very early last night, partly because I felt awful and partly because I couldn’t look DH in the eye. But I‘ve woken up refreshed, catching up on all the things I didn’t do yesterday because I was hungover, and taking DC out soon. Feeling positive about defeating this once and for all.