The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Good morning all.

I'm a bit excited re an opportunity in Oxford for a beauty company. Hopefully a goer as they say.

The plot thickens on the house move. We're a search short apparently. I'd still like to be in the thatch for Christmas.

Not sure what to wear for the interview. If I'm too glam I'll look like 'old Barbie' 😀

Well done @CrazyCatMam , get through the early days and you'll be motoring.

You'll look fabulous @WendyWagon whatever you wear!

You're doing really well @needastrongone - keep going.

Strength and courage. xx

I think @WendyWagon might look like a Jilly Cooper heroine - very tall, a mixture of high fashion and 1930s cashmere cardigans, in a house with a boot room

Thank you @REP22, that’s kind.

As long as @WendyWagon doesn’t behave like some of those Jilly Cooper heroines @taylorean🤣

LIstened to the Sober Awkward pod this morning on my run. I enjoyed it. I felt it was slightly scripted at times (well, obviously it is… but I noticed it, if that makes sense). That said, I particularly enjoyed Ulrika Jonnson’s contributions, perhaps because I could relate to the way she drank (indoors, on her sofa, as a stress relief type rather than party animal reason) and I’d listen to it again for that reason.

One foot in front of the other folk xx

@needastrongone ah you are funny. I was a bit of a girl (aka slapper in the words of the DD!).

@taylorean is spot on. I love a Miss Marple cardigan.

I'll make you laugh, everytime I wore a cardigan my late mother would say (Wendy, only secretaries wear cardigans). Total snob but very funny.

I feel I need something from The Fold for the interview if I get one!

I’ve tried Drylendar, I Am Sober, Sober Tracker, DryPage, and a few others.
Right now, I’m using Drylendar and DryPage- love the clean, simple vibe of both. The others felt a bit too cluttered for me.

Thank you @WendyWagon. Can't wait for the motoring to begin!

@ThisFancyOpalReader I def don't like anything cluttered with too much going on. Will check those out!

Still here, still sober.

So far, I've told my husband (he reacted with disbelief and sounded a bit disappointed) and my tee-total personal trainer / gym buddy (he burst out laughing). Cautiously mentioned it to two of my colleagues today. They're both lovely and hardly drink at all, so were a more supportive audience.

I haven't mentioned it to any of my friends or family yet. I want to get some more sober days under my belt first. I've dabbled with dry Jan & sober October before, but I definitely have a reputation as a big drinker and a bit of a party animal, which is why I've landed myself in this situation in the first place! For now, I'll put off telling anyone else.

I'm sorry the reaction from your DH was disappointing @CrazyCatMam - but the response of laughter from your personal trainer is bizarre and, dare I say it, highly unprofessional. Poor show there - I'm so glad your colleagues were more supportive.

Your sobriety is like anew, treasured possession - and you don't have to share it with people you don't want to. x

Morning all.

Morning
Bloomin husbands and their reactions 🤦🏻‍♀️
@REP22is right. We don't owe anybody an explanation or justification. Somebody once quoted the serenity prayer on here which stayed with me-
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can. And the strength to know the difference.
"Courage" is the big one for me. Giving up alcohol requires a lot of it. Especially in the face of judgement from others.

Overslept this morning. It's so dark!

I will not drink today

@CrazyCatMam it sucks when people are not supportive. I’m definitely not telling anyone/not making an announcement because it’s that social judgement that has prevented me from giving up for good before, so I just don’t want that right now. Although I can see how for some people making a public statement and having that external accountability might help stick with it. We’re all very different which is why the world is so amazing!

Hi all, I‘ve been on this thread before but unfortunately don’t remember my old user name. I am here again because I desperately need some help. I decided back in spring that I was drinking too much and wanted to stop. But the drink kept creeping back in. Especially if there was a holiday or an event, then I would spiral and drink way too much for a few weeks, then quit again. A viscous cycle.

I decided to use sober October as a starting point and see where it took me. With the idea to quit completely this time. Last weekend we went away and I started drinking again. Last night I drank two bottles of wine and did something so disgusting, I am too ashamed to write it.

I can’t moderate. Alcohol makes me feel and look terrible. I love my life when I‘m sober, and I hate myself when I‘m not. Please let this be the last day one!!

@Conteffi I feel for you lovely. Tis not an easy road. If I told you some of the things I had done in my time you'd be just as shocked.

Try to eat a good breakfast and get some rest.

Welcome back @Conteffi - you're in good company here, as you know. I cannot moderate either and the law of diminishing returns means that the risks from falling grow greater each time.

You don't have to tell us what the consequences were for you last night; I can guarantee that most of us have similar spectres of horror in our past which chill us to the core in flashback. We are none of us perfect.

You're here now and you are trying again. That's what matters. Look after yourself. You can do this. You're not a bad person and you can pull yourself free. It will be alright.

Strength and courage. xx

Dear @Conteffi I feel you ❤️. The shame is hard and I could fill a book with all of my awful drink fuelled horrors. If you haven't worked through it already I found the Naked Mind book, the 30 Day alcohol experiment really helpful as a starting point. I was where you are. I'm sure so many of us were. I'm only (nearly) 5 months alcohol free but I would never have believed I would feel so positive about me, my life. I've even got some compassion for the old train wreck I was. Wishing you well 🎉

Welcome @Conteffi I feel you too. There are moments of my drinking that still give me feelings of such intense shame.

I always thought I would love to moderate/wish I could moderate but in fact I suddenly had the insight that I hate moderating. It isn't that I fail at it so much as I hate doing it. What's the point of one drink? Where's the happiness in not drinking today when i desperately want to but drinking friday - friday won't stop me wanting to drink today. So if moderation is just torture, the alternatives then were drink myself to death/shame/misery or don't drink and be happy so it seemed a no-brainer (finally!) to just not drink.

I really haven't shared sobriety with anyone in real life except my closest friend. Even dh and I don't talk about it - my choice. Obviously he has noticed that his wife no longer drinks all the wine, mostly in secret. My group is generally pretty non-drinky though which helps. But I also realise no one really cares what someone else is drinking. I do have a wedding soon which may be a bit stressful. But the MOB was describing the cocktail hour to me (gin bar, prosecco bar, pints from the bar if you want them, tea and coffee) and instead of thinking "oh god a gin would have been lovely" I thought "oh a cup of coffee will be great after being out in the cold".

Hang in there Conteffi. I was exactly where you are. Now I have 10 months under my belt and feel so happy.

I love my life when I‘m sober, and I hate myself when I‘m not.

Also Conteffi this is exactly how I felt - exactly. I'm 10 months in and life sober is just lovely. I found the Annie Grace book really helpful - also her 30 day no alcohol thing. I also used a therapist by zoom for a few months. every day you don't drink, intending not to drink again, makes it easier to not drink the next day. I know it sounds incredible now but it doesn't take long to get to the point of not really stressing about it.

I feel that making a decision not to drink is much easier and freeing than trying to bargain with yourself how many drinks you can have.

Hello all.

It’s not going well.

My birthday tomorrow as well and I just want to forget about it.

I’ve had an email from my parents already, guess they were never going to actually call me and I was stupid to hope they might.

Hope everyone is ok…you’re doing so well @CrazyCatMam (sorry, haven’t caught up with all the posts).

My birthday tomorrow too @GunnelVallquist! Many happy returns for tomorrow.

You don't have to respond to your parents' email if it will bring you pain. Can you set up an automatic rule to divert them to a specific inbox, to be read if and when needed, so they don't torment you? xx

Thank you so much for the kind words. It has really helped to know I am not alone ❤️

Thank you so much for the ‘silent’ support @WendyWagon , it never goes unnoticed and I appreciate it so much.

It seems apt that our birthdays fall on the same date @REP22 , what with our unkind mothers and enabling fathers.

I am feeling extra vulnerable today because it’s also the 11th anniversary of my first miscarriage.

I will not reply to my parents’ (it’s really my father’s) email just now, because it is hurting too much and also because I feel he (because it’s obviously come from my father) has taken the easy way out. Instead of calling me.

I should have gone home last month. And met up with my parents. First time since 2015.

Ah well.

Mr GunnelVallquist has taken tomorrow and Friday off, asking me what I want to do.

Does ‘nothing’ count?

I am so tired.

Of everything.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling @Conteffi .

I also can’t moderate.

And I am the epitome of stupidity because I actually managed to do eight months sober back in the day, followed by seven months two years later.

Only to go back to drinking each time.

If that’s not stupid, what is?

I can’t offer any meaningful advice at the minute because I am struggling so much myself, but @REP22, @WendyWagon and all the other lovely ladies on here will help you along the way.

Best wishes 🌺

Oh and can I just say… my miscarriage was not down to drinking.

I found out I was pregnant very early on and after that not so much even had a coffee or regular tea…unless it’s because I had abused my body a fair bit before that due to my drinking…who knows.

Again, that way madness lies.

Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

Maybe I was right when I said back in the day that I didn’t want to have children and continue the abuse.