The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

You are so right @anewyearthisyear .

My parents would certainly not think their drinking was ever problematic…because they prefer expensive wines.

It’s not like they were ever necking cans of cheap lager.

I remember a family holiday when I was 16. We went to France and my parents had rented this beautiful house. I was already struggling with my mental health back then and kept saying I wanted to get ‘totally smashed’.

We (my parents, my younger sister and I) went out one evening for my parents’ 20th wedding anniversary.

I had some wine at the restaurant.

When we got back to the house, I asked for more.

They kept giving me sparkling wine, followed by red wine, and at the end of the night I dragged myself upstairs, made it to the first room and vomited all over my sister’s bed.

I couldn’t face red wine for decades.

And I don’t think what they did was stellar parenting.

Yes, I was ‘already’ 16.

But I was also ‘only’ 16.

I’ve got one.

’Psycho’.

(Anthony Perkins was a handsome man, wasn’t he?)

Ok, scratch that. Just remembered that the guy who purchases the house for his daughter (the one Marion Crane steals the money from) mentions a bottle he’d seen in the estate agent’s drawer.

Aaarggh! It’s so hard this!

Definitely drinking in ‘Rear Window’ as well.

I also love ‘What lies beneath’ with Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer, but there’s definitely drinking in that too (I seem to remember her clearing the table after dinner and there was a bottle of wine and glasses, and also at a party later she’s drinking white wine).

It is so normalised.

I was watching Unforgiven recently and noticing the female lead - both of them across the series - comes home and pours a glass of wine at the kitchen table in every episode - in fact almost every scene set at home in the evening has that. I suspect a cop drama made in the 60s wouldn't have had that - would have had a cup of tea or a visit to the pub. in my lifetime daily wine drinking at home - especially for women - has become a huge and normal thing from absolutely not being a thing.

If you told a woman in the 1970s that a couple of mothers were meeting in the park and drinking while watching the kids I doubt she'd have said "oh how lovely". Mind you they were probably all on happily prescribed Ativan.

Still here, still sober.

Started rewatching Dr Foster. I don't think there's a scene so far where someone isn't drinking, and yes her life is unravelling, and her colleague is an alcoholic, so I guess they're showing the negative side too, but there's lots of normalised drinking.

@GunnelVallquist I have never had a sober Christmas! So you're one up on me there. It's just me and my two youngest DC on holiday, so haven't been around any other adults, which has been a huge help. If my DH was here I'm not sure I'd have been able to stay off the wine. I've deliberately avoided meeting up with friends & family living nearby.

This morning we went out for breakfast. As I reached for the car keys my son said 'but you'll be drinking' because to him eating out = me drinking. I was going say don't be silly, you don't have alcohol at breakfast time! But thinking about it, we only usually eat out for breakfast when we're on holiday, and I'm always delighted to see mimosas on the menu. And there was the time on holiday where I woke with a hangover, so sank a glass of Prosecco before going for breakfast. And on our last morning, any wine left in the fridge will get polished off while we pack. So maybe drinking at breakfast isn't such a leap after all.

I will not drink today

Morning all
It's funny what you look back on as then totally normal with fresh eyes isn't it @CrazyCatMam!

I went round my best friend's last night. I only knew her but no-one else. I took a bottle of AF wine with me and absolutely no-one batted an eyelid whilst they were knocking back bubbly until I announced I was driving home! I have to say I did feel a little smug. They would either have to walk home or get a cab (I'm happy to give lifts but I left before them).

I had a lovely time and I'm sure just as lovely as everyone else. Except no grogginess for me this morning 😁.

I’ve never seen Dr Foster @CrazyCatMam . Would you recommend it?

Well done on still being sober, especially while on holiday.

Morning all.

I’m trying to remember where I read the following quote @Lavrander ’Nobody wakes up in the morning and wishes they had drunk the night before’. Or something like that.

Morning all.

Morning all, thinking that you can do it is half the battle. I had such a lovely Christmas last year, my first ever without a drink I think even when I was 12-13 I was given wine and lemonade at Xmas. It was one of my best yet. No slurring, no falling asleep in the afternoon. I kept myself busy. I bought the £12 0.5% wine from M&S (which in truth is no better than the £3.50 one at Co-Op) I think you need to visualise all the fun things you can do without the booze.

Morning all.
Saw this T shirt this morning and thought you’d all like it

Morning all.

I've been gardening. Lifting the pellies. DH is going to the recycling centre.

It's our last night at the cottage, so I think I can safely say I've survived my first sober holiday. Granted, without interacting with any adults. Had crusty bread, cheese and pate for dinner with a glass of coop 0.05%. Thanks for the tip @FiloPasty. Seeing the bottle in the fridge, pouring a glass... gives you all of the feels of wine without any of the negatives. And for once I was able to stop after a small glass!

I'm still reading Allen Carr's book and tracking on the reframe app. The best time to do this is when I'm having a wobble (currently 4-7pm). The next challenge is continuing these habits when I'm back home.

Thanks for that quote @GunnelVallquist. That's my new mantra. When I get home I plan to deep clean my shit tip of a bedroom - starting afresh, rather than waking up surrounded by discarded piles of clothes and jewellery scattered on the floor.

well done crazycatmam.

I'm also doing my bedroom this week. I did my jewellery last week - sorted everything, put the sentimental/inherited stuff in boxes, got stuff repaired, went through the stuff I didn't want with my 2 dds and then what was left that I didn't want - I had a ton of decent but not very expensive jewellery from when I was working - I gave to my cleaning lady for people in her church who might like it. I felt cleansed!

Yes, it's gripping! I'm sure there's a reason I'm re-watching it. A new season, possibly. Can't remember. It gives me something to look forward to of an evening.

I will not drink today

Morning all.

Good morning Shipmates,

Lovely sunny day here, but blimey it's cold. Sid did not want to emerge from his duvet cocoon this morning.

Strength and courage. xx

It's cardigan weather @REP22

Evening.

Quick post. I need to post daily to keep up.

Pootling along here. Strangely had strong cravings yesterday at the same time being oddly repelled by the idea of drinking too. I can sit with the emotions now - the uncomfortable feeling passes.

One foot in front of the other people, it’s all we can do xx

And I think you have done amazing @CrazyCatMam - well done indeed xx

Still here, still sober.

Thank you @needastrongone. Truth be told, I fully expected to have caved by now.

One day at a time...

I will not drink today