The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Alcohol Bingo

I'll just have the one
I can moderate
You weren't that bad
It's not as bad as drugs
I can give up anytime I want

Welcome @ConstantlyFuriosa. You’ll see as you read through that there are a mix of us on here - from those on day 1 to those with 4+ years, and everything in between

And everyone has had that internal dialogue hundreds of times!! But if you can stick with being AF, that voice gets quieter and quieter, and you get better at dismissing it.

Some people call it the wine witch. I’ve always preferred to think of it as my inner toddler, throwing tantrums and stamping her feet!! Whatever works for you

My internal dialogue is a people pleasing 9 year old!

Welcome @ConstantlyFuriosa. Alcohol is an addictive substance- hardly anyone can actually control their intake once they get passed a certain point. The difference is that you've just recognised it. I had a work do the other day and 9/10 people that were drinking - once they started they didn't stop. It was probably 10 out of 10 actually.. I stayed until people started to get repetitive and/ or mean. No regrets in the morning.

Moderation is the exception not the norm!

I've been out in the garden today cutting things back. I like the cutting part but not the clean up.

@GunnelVallquist sorry to hear you are struggling, keep going if you can, easier said than done I am struggling myself! xx

@WendyWagon love that you are in such demand xx

Thank you so much everyone here for the kind words and support, I too am taking a step back I am day 42 but cant stop the negative feelings and dont want to trigger anyone on this thread, I will keep reading and keep trying and if I feel more on solid ground I will return if that is ok xx

Thank you all again I would not have got to day 42 without you all x

Hi everyone,

I’ve been checking in with this thread while I ploughed through the week, I’ve been feeling low level out of sorts, can’t quite put my finger on it feeling and it’s been tough at work to hold it all together but I have and I made it through. I’ve also been reflecting a lot trying to identify stressors and what drives me to the drink. I know that anxiety is a key factor, as is the immense pressure I feel as a lone parent in a senior, high demand job that takes so much out of me, so I’ve booked in an assessment to maybe get some CBT to help with that.
I’m 9 days in, it’s very early days but I’m feeling committed. I’ve also wanted to sleep a lot this week and been unusually tired and a bit withdrawn. I’m hoping that will pass, along with the desire of “just one” on a Friday evening. Also realising a few friendships won’t quite be the same and how or if I’ll be able to maintain contact with the people I used to drink with….
Anyway, that’s enough from me, thank you for letting me offload all of that!
Wishing you all a restful weekend. I went for a run in the sunshine earlier today and it felt great.

Day 110 for me and I'm so pleased and proud to have made it this far.

I'd tried to moderate, with some success, for nearly 30 years. More recently wanting a drink every evening and finding it harder and harder to resist. I knew I had a problem, but no-one else did or they'd have to admit they were drinking too much too.

Feeling cheesed off with myself that I failed yet again, someone recommended The Naked mind by Annie Grace. I had no intention of giving up alcohol and even the thought made me panic. However by the time I'd read a few chapters I was motivated to give up for good.

The first few weeks were hard, but I've not once been tempted. I've read more quit lit and developed a taste for zero beer. It really does get easier.

This is the support thread for anyone trying. Whilst we ask people not to post about their drinking, or whilst they're drinking, it absolutely doesn't mean that some of us haven't fallen overboard. So if anyone is feeling like they need to leave the thread because of a slip up please don't.
Of course if you feel like you need to stop trying for a while then that's fine too - and we'll welcome you back when you're ready.
However - as long as you are still committed, still trying; that's exactly what this thread is for. We've all been through it or still experiencing it in some way.

@pinklilystemyour friends might surprise you. Or some will, some won't, but the ones that are supportive and maintain contact are the ones worth having around. The Friday night will pass - but it takes a while - it's years of a habit you have to break. Keep AF drinks in the fridge, chocolate, buy some lovely bath salts, candles, whatever. I can't remember who it was on the thread that posted about their bed time ritual but maybe they'll post that again for inspiration. Whatever new relaxing ritual you can create for yourself to bookend the week. I made Victoria sponges. Lots of them!

Well done on 110 days @ColdFeetat60- The Naked Mind and the associated Alcohol Experiment is what did it for me too.

It really does get easier!

I’m the one with the bedtime ritual 😀

I used to genuinely believe I couldn’t get through the night without drinking as I wouldn’t sleep, and it scared me. When I stopped I made going to bed as pleasant as possible. I did my best to replace a bad habit with good ones. I bought matching bath oil and diffuser oil, and made the bedroom as comfortable as I could. I put a tv in there, and got sleep headphones.

The ritual was turning on the diffuser and running a scented bath, so I learned to associate the smell with sleep. I’d get into bed and tell myself that it didn’t matter if I didn’t sleep. I’d watch tv until I was tired - easy undemanding series that didn’t take much concentration, but interesting enough to compensate for no sleep. Then, when I thought sleep was near I’d put on the headphones and listen to hypnosis tracks. You can get them for relaxation and sleep, and also for stopping drinking.

I think giving myself permission to lie awake was the big deal. That in itself took away a lot of the stress. The smell thing may or may not have worked, but it did make being in bed pleasanter than when the room was a mess and I had collapsed into an unmade bed. I learned to enjoy the vivid dreams, and was disappointed when they stopped.

Whatever it was, something worked very well for eight years.

I will not drink today

Morning all.

Morning.

I’ve not been around for long enough to comment, but it has taken me a LOT of attempts to get to being AF. Each one, even the ones where I had a drink after a couple of days taught me something, put a drop of resilience practice into the pot, gave me a strategy for that moment. Even if it was a negative sort of strategy initially, like not wanting to feeling shame at pouring a glass when I really didn’t want to but still did - a resilience to not want to feel the same self loathing that I always felt at drinking again - this slowly turns into pride at not having a drink and then that turns into a space to do the work in your head we probably all need to do. Keep trying and posting, even if you are in a funk.

Also - it’s okay to feel flat. Not drinking isn’t some magic thing that makes life wonderful. Sometimes, life is well - just life.

The first few weeks are shit, there’s no getting around that. Stay in the moment - you can only choose to not drink that day, the next day will be the next day and you can choose what to do then x

Welcome @ConstantlyFuriosa - I am glad you have found us.

Bit damp here today, so a quick Sidwalk. Only two more days of The Cone to go (unless he has another fiddle).

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

Thank you all for the welcome. Day 4 today.

This really resonated with me @needastrongone

Even if it was a negative sort of strategy initially, like not wanting to feeling shame at pouring a glass when I really didn’t want to but still did - a resilience to not want to feel the same self loathing that I always felt at drinking again…

I have so many times returned from the shop clutching a bottle (or two) of wine - not literally clutching but hidden away in my bags - and felt such disgust at myself with ‘never again’ ringing in my head…until the next time. It makes me absolutely detest myself but the short term relief of oblivion has in the past won out. I don’t want to feel like that any more.

So. I will not drink with you today.

hello me hearties. been a while. found you all 2.5 years ago in a drunken ashamed puddle after a few years of trying and failing to get sober. thanks to the amazing kick start i got on here i did it. am now almost 2.5 years sober and in total honesty it has just got easier and easier and better and better. friendships, boundaries, mental health, parenting, dealing with parents, dealing with stress and challenge. alcohol made none of that better. lovely to drop back in and see some familiar names on here. keep going you brave lot, it is worth it, the field of great things definitely exists i promise!

@ponzusoup !! Lovely to hear from you x

Great to hear from you @ponzusoup, and even better to hear you're doing so well!

I will not drink today

Morning all and happy Monday!

Quick catch up from me to say I’m still here! Just about to start back at work after some hangover imposed sickness last week.

Day 5 today and so far so good. But I’ve been here before and know full well the pink cloud of sobriety won’t last forever.

I’ve not posted for a few days as my friend surprised me with a few days away at a wellness retreat type thing. She wanted to support me and thank me for everything I’ve done for her over the years. It brought me to tears - my DH reminds me that I am a great person, loved by all and a good friend to people. Meanwhile my brain constantly tells me I’m a loser, don’t deserve happiness yadda yadda. So I need to keep reminding myself that I’m worthy and deserving of happiness.

Will catch up with the thread tonight but I hope everyone is waking up today/has woken up feeling good and has a great day ❤️

Morning all.
How lovely @Dibdibbob what a great friend.

Nothing exciting today. DS is here until tonight.

@ponzusoup! Great to hear from you; so very glad that you are still thriving!

Have a great time with DS @WendyWagon.

Sid is now less than 24 hours away from Cone removal take two...

Strength and courage. All shall be well. x

Morning all.
Hope Sid is allowed to remove his cone soon @REP22 - our dog is always so miserable when he has them

Trying to get back into the routine of work after a lot of disruption from holidays, treatment etc. I have mixed feelings!

I will not drink today

Morning all.

Up with a snuffling dog.

Dreaming of cottages and cherries.
Mind you I like Victoria plums. I shall plant one of those.