The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

@GunnelVallquist sorry to hear that, hope you feel better and are able to get back to it xx

I always worry about everything, all the time.

And then obsess about the past.

It’s all so hard, isn’t it? When you can’t shut off your brain. 🌺

Thank you 😭xxx

@pinkclouds26 have you got a scan date yet?

We've been sofa shopping again. Joy. However, it reminded me to point out the way that it can, for those of a similar (strange?) mindset as me, be encouraging to have things that have never been associated with drinking. The most obvious and biggest example would be @WendyWagon's new house - to be able to say 'I have never been drunk in this house' can really motivate you not to spoil that record.

When we have eventually chosen and taken delivery of new sofas it will be good to be able to say, and know, that I have never sat on them with my fourth glass of wine in hand, never had a rambling conversation with someone wearing a bored expression, never woken up on one having missed the end of the film and so on.

Obviously we can't go about buying new houses and furniture to rid ourselves of associations (or not on my budget, anyway 😂) but when they happen in the natural course of things it's worth making a mental note not to break our ducks, or whatever the right phrase might be.

Evening all. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now @GunnelVallquist. These times will pass, and I guess we all know that alcohol doesn't help solve anything. Just adds doom into the mix. Hope you get back on track soon x

I like that Sid is being papped @REP22 he is so very photogenic, with or without the cone of shame.

I did something very vain this week. Booked a consultation with a face doctor /aesthetic chap. I've been looking at my 60+ year old face through sober eyes and thinking I fancied a little (relatively inexpensive) glow up. Anyway, after he picked apart my face on a giant screen and offered to relieve me of over £4k, which included botoxing me to death and putting filler in my weak chin..... I just had to laugh. Visions of me looking like Bruce Forsyth. I'm keeping my money. Giving up alcohol IS my glow up and I've seen sense.

Have a lovely weekend all.

@MagicalCrocodile oh I'm intrigued re the face doctor.
Loads of stars having face lifts and spending big money. Not denying it either!
I've been using a new cream (not sure it's doing anything) however I managed to get a pink glow powder off eBay (Bobbi Brown discontinued). So many people have told me I look well. I used it for years and had run out. Worth the £20.

My late mother was a beauty but as previously mentioned difficult. However her wit was legendary. She quipped I'd put horse muck on my face if I was told I'd be beautiful!

To be fair @WendyWagon I'd do the horse muck if I thought it would help! That powder sounds great! The main cost was to have Julaine injected into your face. It's not a filler, it just makes all that lovely collagen thrive. The effect lasts for about two years so in the greater scheme of things that's not bad but more than I'm willing to spend right now. Maybe when I'm 80 I'll think again 😏 For now I'll persevere with the retinal.

Morning all.
It's raining and windy here.
DD is a bit better. I hope to pop out later if she's stable enough.

Still dreaming of the pink cottage.

I will not drink today

Morning Shipmates! I'm experiencing a novel sort of craving - I'm on nil by mouth ahead of a medical procedure and my entire soul is crying out for a cup of tea or coffee, or even a herbal tea😫This is how I used to feel every Friday night about my bottle of wine. Something hot and preferably caffeinated is all I can think about, it's driving me insane.

I know the feeling @PhantomOfAllKnowledge !! My go to phrase is “this is what is happening right now, I’m doing the best that I can”. The hardest thing is the elastic timeline if you’re not sure what time you’re going to go in. I hope the procedure goes smoothly

Morning all.

Feeling a bit more human today.

Good luck 🍀 🌺

Good morning Shipmates,

I knew it was a mistake to go and enjoy myself in London yesterday. M left Sid by himself "only for an hour". In that hour, he'd not only got the cone off but also picked off all the fixings so it couldn't be reattached. And then had a good old scrat'. The vet was not impressed at what was supposed to be his final check-up this morning. The cone has been reapplied (Sid was extremely angry with me), and fixed with connivance of Gorilla tape. I am furious (not wholly with Sid). I was so cross that I have spent a good hour on my garden project, spreading buckets of fresh pea-shingle (I hate gardening). Feel better now. And Sid and I have mended our cross words. I refuse to be defeated by these things, so intensive shingle-spreading and garden improvement have allowed me to claw back victory form despair.

But I am grateful for being sober with it all, and the theatre really was terribly good.

I'm so sorry about your phone call @GunnelVallquist - and that it led to reaching for a liquid-based "solution". 😟 But I am glad you are feeling a bit better this morning. Might there be some good that you can claw back from this one too? It could be "permission" (clumsy phrase, but I hope you know what I mean) to abandon your visit and not feel too guilty about it. I know the prospect was a serious disturber of your peace. Set yourself free from the obligation and arrange a little treat for yourself instead? You deserve to be happy.

Sorry the cravings are driving you nuts @PhantomOfAllKnowledge - I know what you mean. Hopefully it's not for too long. I've had to be nil by mouth for medical stuff in the past too (apart from delicious Moviprep 🤢) - it's exhausting trying to be entertained by water.

Strength and courage brave friends. I will not drink today. It will be alright. xx

P.S. Does anyone think that Sid looks a bit like Falkor from Neverending Story in this pic...?

Oh dear, @REP22. I'm not surprised that you're cross. Has Sid had to have stitches reapplied?

I see what you mean about Falkor😀. F looks a bit happier about his cone, though.

Haha, genius @ShyMaryEllen ❤️ The vet and I did talk about it, but it would mean another general anaesthetic, and some stitches are still in place, so another 10 - 14 days in the cone should be OK. M has seen it now. "He must have done it last night when he was asleep at your house" and "he deserves a good beating" were the responses.

"No, I shall not be physically harming him". was all I had to say in reply.

He's back to his usual, philosophical, cheerful self after a walk and a Sizzler. x

Sorry to hear about all the drama @REP22 .

I’m guessing M is your mother?

I am feeling out of sorts today - on the one hand I’m relieved I can stop obsessing about the visit.

But I am also really sad things are the way they are and there won’t be any ‘closure’.

Ah well, onwards and upwards.

Thank you for your kind words @MagicalCrocodile 🌺

‘He deserves a good beating’

😮

Speechless.

@GunnelVallquist well, quite. Yes. M is the female parent.

Have you thought about some bereavement counselling? Not because there has been a death, but perhaps to help you grieve for the parental relationship that you never had? My Dad died very suddenly and tragically - he was lovely, and a voice of reason, but (I had to admit to myself with difficulty) was also an enabler and one who stood by while Things happened. After his death I had counselling from a bereavement charity, which helped so much. In dealing with the actual death and grieving for what should have been but never was, and the damage done, with the one still living.

It is a grief, in a way. And it is OK to not be OK. ❤️

The Harry Potter play(s) I saw yesterday had very, very much to do with parenting, good and bad, how it defines us and how we can defy it. Very, very profound. The programme even had an article written by a psychiatrist in it, all about parenting, upbringing, and its influence on lives never lived and lives still to come.

Failing that, I often find a quick re-read of "This Be The Verse" by Philip Larkin to be fairly restorative. 😉x

Thanks @REP22 .

My father is definitely an enabler too, I would say.

I have had various therapists over the years, some more helpful than others.

Moving around every few years hasn’t helped either.

The best therapist I ever had was a CPN with the NHS called Michelle…she was brilliant.

Unfortunately I had to stop seeing her after half a year because my husband got a posting to the US.

I actually saw a private Psychologist last year because the NHS waiting list was so long, but I didn’t find it all that helpful and it was costing a lot of money, so I binned it in the end.

That poem is excellent and the last line is very poignant.

I feel both relieved (as in, I am not going to continue the toxic cycle) and utterly sad I chose not to have children. In a way it’s my biggest regret.

@GunnelVallquist @REP22 @Onewildandpreciouslife Thank you for your good wishes and sympathy. Unfortunately, things turned into a complete farce and the procedure ended up being cancelled. Back to waiting for a new date. The large black Americano I had once I was released was the best thing I've ever tasted!

How annoying, @PhantomOfAllKnowledge. The waiting is the hardest part, as the song goes, and going through it all only to have to do it again is a real double whammy. I hope it gets sorted out very soon.

Aww, I’m so sorry @PhantomOfAllKnowledge , that’s really shit.

🌺

I will not drink today