The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Hello all.

Bad day here.

But I’m still sober.

My gut keeps telling me different things @needastrongone , that’s the problem.

We used to have a Cocker Spaniel. He was the most perfect boy ❤️

@Lavrander nice to know that adult colouring has always been out there in some form. @needastrongone I like the idea of the mindful jigsaws too.
I had a tricky day today but realised that when things went a bit wrong, I didn't have the default craving for a drink which has been something I've struggled with since getting sober- kind of phantom cravings ,wine witch kind of thing.
And that galvanized and cheered me up that that voice was not there. I'm hoping this might be a new strength.
Treated myself to a nice Appletiser after a walk this evening :)

Morning all.

Cottage viewing today.
Huge negativity from DD and DH.
Pressure to live in a plastic fantastic bungalow. I'm not doing it. I'm feeling very militant on this one.

I will not drink today

Morning all.

I’ve had a bit of a breakdown and my husband has taken the day off work to be with me.

Still sober though, day ten.

Big hugs @GunnelVallquist i really went through the emotions in the early days and did a lot of soul searching. Lots of my drinking I think was linked to my own neurodiversity.
It’s very easy for me on the other side of a year to say how much better life is, but it is, I can promise you that. You’ve just got to get here one day at a time.
You’ve mentioned difficult family relationships, I don’t think you should see anyone if it is causing you this much turmoil x Lots of love to the supportive husbands too, mine has been my rock. He still drinking but rarely and moderately.

Afternoon.

Ah @GunnelVallquist, I’m sending you all the kind thoughts via the internet. Family is tricky, and your body is also adjusting to the lack of alcohol, which is hard enough by itself. What a lovely husband you have, hold onto that. X

Hope you’re okay too @WendyWagon.

Good to hear there’s another runner on the thread @Onewildandpreciouslife. I haven’t seen the Allie Bailey’s book - I’ll take a look, I love a running book. We are away at the minute but I’ll throw some recommendations back at you when we get home (I can never remember titles!). It’s lovely rolling hills here, great for a continuous hard tempo type effort. I spent many years thinking being fit and healthy would negate a bottle of wine a night…..how idiotic is that?!

Picture of my lovely Spaniel, I’m sure he’d be friends with Sid! He’s 13 in November - I love him to bits ❤️

I won’t drink tonight.

What a DARLING BOY, @needastrongone ! 😍🐶 He looks like a Very Good Boy Indeed to me! I bet he is! 🥰

@GunnelVallquist your DH sounds like a good 'un, please let him help you... When you're feeling stronger, there's a book I found very helpful called 'Toxic Parents' by Susan Forward. Helped me understand some of their behaviours, and so distance myself from them emotionally. I think she's branched out into other toxic family members too. May be worth a look?

Had a challenging day today, having to deal with car and garage stuff all on my stupid own, and with a knackering ordeal of public transport to get to and from it... I hadn't slept much either in anticipation of it, and was too hyper to eat all day... so was really craving wine when I got in, feeling brattish about the fact that I wanted a 'reward' and wasn't going to get one like a normal adult human being, wah wah... 😩

But have had a light supper and an AF beer and a bloody sit down! Feeling a bit more sanguine about it now, though I always second-guess myself about 'did I do the right thing? Did I ask the right questions?' etc. But hey, I did it! And I learned a lot from doing it! And this is EXACTLY the sort of thing I wanted to get sober for in the first place! So yay, I guess! 😁

Yes @GribouilleYOU did it! You should be bloody proud. Your reward can be continuing to feel good about it in the morning because not only did you do it, you also didn't drink today and so you've had a double whammy of brilliantness today. Well done!

Ah @needastrongone- I do very much recognise the cognitive dissonance - I considered myself to be a very 'fit and healthy' person whilst drinking WAY above the recommended units per week. I'm excited for you to see how much your running will improve and how you'll enjoy it even more!

Your spaniel is gorgeous. I have one too. He's called Arthur and he's the love of my life (I'd say don't tell DH but he knows it already).

Great news @Teaforthetotal- flexing those sober muscles. It's such a long habit to get rid of but we just have to keep up with the new ones for long enough to have them stick. I hope you enjoyed your relax and appetiser after your walk.

Hope the viewing went okay @WendyWagon. I hope they come around - it's your home too.

@GunnelVallquistthis too shall pass x

I will not drink today

Morning all.

Third viewing went well.
I'm team pink cottage (it's got lots of pink). DH isn't grumping. DD might but I did tell her off on Monday about not contributing to the household tasks. I also suggested if she didn't finish her studies she'd be wiping our bottoms in old age!

A huge amount of furniture needs to go if we buy the aforementioned cottage. I had another pub lunch and chewed the fat with my BFF. She offered on some of the big pieces.

I had clear co rhubarb af gin in the pub. Delicious.

Will look out for that gin, @WendyWagon - I love rhubarb - I dream of drinking my Method cleaning spray which smells so delicious... 😄 I imagine I don't need me to tell you to stand up for your own interests in whatever new house you buy. Especially as I doubt DD would be paying for it... 😆

'Arthur', @Lavrander ! Love that name! I had a similar situation with my last kitty 🐈‍⬛, DH called her 'my best girl', and I accepted with equanimity my place in the hierarchy...

Anyway, glad I didn't drink, but I still look like a hard-living 90 year-old this morning and will need a nap to catch up on recent deficiencies in sleep... I know I must seem like a ninny to be fretting about normal, human adulting, but I think I lost my confidence a bit when I was ill - I couldn't even see well enough to drive for about a year - and even in remission, my AI condition comes with a rather agitato baseline...

Plus, despite putting a good distance physically and psychologically between me and my family, I still carry the deep coding of 'every decision you make will be wrong and shameful and an inevitable disaster...'. 🙄 I can see what it's done to my siblings. Awareness is half the battle... but it can still be a battle sometimes... a few extra rocks to carry in the rucksack of life...

As someone said upthread, most of us have a trauma or other deep reason for our drinking... 🤗 Love to everyone having a challenging time today.

(Last night I played full-on with my kittens and we had a wonderful time... Animal therapy!) 🥰

I'm a rhubarb girl @Gribouille

However I can't grow sage, it hates me. Mystic hands probably.

I am struggling the past couple of days, no real reason but driving home from work today I had an overwhelming urge to stop to buy wine. I didnt and I do feel ok now but it was the strongest craving since I stopped and it scared me. I really wish I had logged more the last time I stopped. I am not sure If I am looking back with Rose tinted glasses but I remember feeling a lot more positive. I am feeling very gloomy at the moment, I need to shake myself.

Hope everyone else is feeling better, sorry to be so moany!

Well done on not stopping for booze @pinkclouds26 I've had a few periods where I've felt like this especially hit just over a year into sobriety.
I think it could hit because we're more aware of feelings and emotions that we've been numbing through alcohol for years.
I was probably more positive then because I was so frequently drunk 😂but then wasn't so positive hungover and depressed the next day.

I think it hit me after a year as I was so focused on that goal and then suddenly being sober was normal but the feelings were still there. Still working through it all but feeling positive again currently.

I had a little twitch earlier as went to a work drinks event and the prosecco was flowing. Luckily they were well stocked with alcohol free beers and that was a perfect replacement. It's such a relief not to drink at work events, my behaviour remains on best form.

No, not moany - it's hard sometimes.

Not everyone finds journaling helpful. I'm sure it can be, but, much like quit lit, it can keep the mind focussed on the thing we want to forget. I think the secret is finding what works for us as individuals, but that is not as easy as it sounds.

For me, AF drinks were/are a godsend, I could wean myself off the habit side of things (huge in my case) and 'join in' at boozy events, but others find them triggering. It's very much horses for courses.

Not moany at all. Sometimes it is hard. I wouldn't say it is a craving but sometimes I do think how nice it would be to dive into a bottle of wine and oblivion. Especially when things are tricky. Of course it never made anything better when I did do it but still.

The thing about feeling gloomy is maybe it has nothing to do with not drinking or drinking. Maybe you are just feeling gloomy because of something real that will pass or you will solve or learn to live with. I'm trying to learn that not every feeling I have is related to booze.

I honestly don't think I'd be sober if it weren't for AF beer. 0% peroni has saved me.

I will not drink today

Morning all.

Morning lovely people.

Thank you so much for all the kind words and support.

My husband is back at work and I am still not sure if I want to go home…

But I am still sober (although I wanted nothing more than a drink these past two days).

Your boy is beautiful @needastrongone ❤️

Thank you for the recommendation @Gribouille ; I actually read Toxic Parents twenty years ago (it had been suggested by my therapist at the time).

I have since re-read it a few times…clearly I’m beyond help though as I can’t cut ties for good.

Morning.

Thank you for the kindness re my lovely old Cocker - He’s called Hector, we call him Hector-dog. I miss him. We decided not to bring him on holiday as it’s a lot for me to juggle (DH had a huge stroke 4 years ago and needs a lot of help now, so walking the dog twice a day is just extra load for me, he’s at home with one of the DC). Animals are therapy aren’t they?

Sadly @Lavrander I suspect I won’t get any faster now sadly - I’ve always run at decent level in terms of times and did my fastest marathon age 50 of 3.18 (I had a glass of wine the night before - jeez it’s shameful looking back sometimes….) Being AF HAS allowed me to cope with quite a high volume of training still though and getting out early is the only time in the day I can run now, being clear headed and fresh it’s much easier! I’ve ordered the book btw, now I read the actual subject matter (other than running!) it’ll really resonate. I’m doing a marathon in December - I’d like to run around 3.30 ish though, to do myself justice (no one else cares I know). Love the name Arthur!

I also really try with mindfulness and journaling etc and I really give it a good shot but running is my therapy I think. We do try as a family to have a gratitude list - we all have to put on the family chat something we are grateful for each day - and it can’t be the same thing. That’s quite a nice thing.

I hear that dialogue in my head too @Gribouille, you are not alone.

I won’t drink tonight but I probably need to break my hot chocolate addiction 🤣